39San Antonio, United States
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My self-summary
The Muppets are my jam. Beaker for life.

I forgot how hard it was to get people to reply on here... (nothing wrong with being picky, I guess)

Want to critique some of my writing? Figment is a cool website... go here:

Here are a few things you'll probably like about me.

I'm honest, caring, sincere, loyal and trustworthy.

I'm funny, almost by accident. All the time, really.

I'm not stupid. I don't know everything, by all means, but I'm capable of deep, rational thought. Even though I'm sure I come up with different conclusions than most.

I'm easy to get along with. I try to enjoy people. Sometimes it might be meaningless, but I can get along with just about anyone. All different types of culture, faith, race, proclivity, etc. have passed through these halls - all have been welcome.

I'm sweet and romantic. Affectionate and sexually passionate. Good, right?

Now, here's some stuff you will certainly hate - plus a little explanation for each.

I'm sarcastic, caustic, inappropriate and sometimes I miss the emotional responses of people so badly that it borders on sociopathy. This is unintentional, and if you know me you know I mean no harm... I just think everything is fair game for mockery and I'm not one to censor myself. I believe in bad intents, not bad words.

I'm not the best looking or most succesful guy, but I'm the only one who is me. Hopefully I can make that work.
What I’m doing with my life
Lately I've been working my meaningless but necessary job and filling the times in between with schooling. I do plan on working in the education field - hopefully in a High School somewhere teaching teenagers the difference between 'you're' and 'your' so they won't be scrutinized when they get older and write emails on dating sites. I try to find time for some hobbies in there as well. I enjoy geocaching and writing as well as learning.

I find myself believing more and more that somewhere in my brain is a story to be told - maybe more than one. I'd love to be a writer like one of my favorites, or, even better, like Hank Moody from Californication. Really, is anything David Duchovny ever does less than awesome? I don't think so.
I’m really good at
Sarcasm, inappropriate humor, playing devil's advocate, writing stuff with words.
The first things people usually notice about me
Usually that I'm funny. Sometimes that I have blue eyes and am left handed.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Salinger, Bret Easton Ellis, Arthur Nersesian, Charles Bukowski, Stephen Crane, Neil Gaiman, Stephen King, Chuck Palahniuk... etc.

Wristcutters, Super, Atonement, Magnolia, Silence of the Lambs, many, many others... Movies are pretty easy by me.

I can watch basically anything on TV. I once watched an entire Storage Wars marathon. Why? I have no idea.

Guns n' Roses. There is simply nothing better. I could have listed Axl Rose as a favorite author without a hint of regret. You can ask and I can tell, just don't jump to any conclusions yet. I like plenty of other stuff, too. You see the Elliot Smith wall in my picture. Things like Tupac Shakur and Fiona Apple also matter to me. Though I am a rock n' roll kid of the 80s/90s at heart.
Six things I could never do without

(get it?)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Everything, really. I enjoy thought and debate. I think about the universe and humanity's place in it... but I also think about what will make me laugh next on TMZ. I'm pretty easy...

I think about this story in my head, filled with random things like chess moves and made up stories of the ways people died. If I'm lucky, some day it will exist outside my head. If I'm REALLY lucky, someone else will like it too.
On a typical Friday night I am
Generally I keep to myself lately. Though, I do have some very social friends. I know some people in a band (loud, aggressive music that most generally do not find appealing) and have been trying to show my support by going to their shows and partaking in their good times. Or, sometimes, my good friend has small get togethers at his nearby home. Usually it's nothing fancy or much of a big deal - but I love good friends and good company.

Then again, a night filled with random internet searches or fun movies sounds pretty appealling as well.

Lately my work schedule is different enough to allow me to not go to bed at ten every night. I still do the same things, though, I can just drink now too.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I don't really keep any secrets. Not necessary to just spill everything to the general public, but if asked by somebody I won't lie.
You should message me if
I messaged you, and it wasn't terrible. Come on, it's fair...

Also, if you have the guts, and don't play the game of 'oh, he has to come after me first.' I hate the mating rituals.

Oh, and you're okay that I'm secretly three midgets in a trench coat.
The two of us