31Los Angeles, United States
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My self-summary
Creative Writer
Freelance Carpenter
Americorps Alumni
Live Free or Die guy
Ukulele lover
Political Junkie
Former Radio DJ
Social Media Consultant
Bearded Lady
Wandering Interactive Art Piece

If you went to a festival this Summer and some masked character offered you a sharpie to draw on them there's a good chance that was me.

I like good bourbon and better beer. I like driving stick because it makes me feel like James Bond. Fortunately for my loved ones, who would inevitably be used against me, I am not actually James Bond- I just play one on N64.

Kermit the Frog is one of my biggest supporters.

I'm a hedonistic feminist with an enchanting, albeit dirty imagination. Not for the faint of heart, easily butt hurt or this with a proclivity for prudent sensibilities.

"The Lumberjack Song" is a pretty keen interpretation of myself, I'm a man's man who likes smelling flowers, sipping tea and occasionally trying on women's clothing. That or Roy Orbison's "Nature Boy"

I should add, I'm a bit of a weirdo, it's part of my charm, and if I message you with some long, weird creative writing piece, it's probably because I'm drunk or stoned and you've inspired some kind of creative or poetic response, which I hope you enjoy, that's kind of the point. It's bothersome how people always want something other than the regular "hey? How's it going?" Or whatever, but when they get a truly original message they get weirded out. Whatever. Oh and I don't send you a weird message don't worry I'm probably just sober and trying to play it cool, either way I think you're cool and/or cute.
Past failed messages of this kind can be laughed at here:

Instagram: Soldatious
What I’m doing with my life
My passion is performance, I've just started doing shows again recently, a lot of alternative comedy, something called "Idiot" it's very fun, weird, funny, provocative, it's all improvised and there's no 4th wall at all. I incorporate a lot of my poetry in it as well.
At some point I might start auditioning again.

My trade on the other hand is still in entertainment and events but behind the scenes, I do a lot of rigging, carpentry, electrician, stagehand work, you name it I can do it. Someday I'll build my own theater, til then I'm just learning the ropes as best I can.

Recently got into the festival scene and loving it. You may know me as a bearded lady or as the coloring book.
I’m really good at
I write a lot of weird stuff, mostly performance poetry, creative short fiction/nonfiction, scenes and occasionally podcasts.

I like to build things. Mostly sets for the stage but recently I've been building furniture which has been really cool.

I'm a professional actor and a spoken word artist. I like to sing too, someday I'd like to start a band.

I play ukulele, not that well, but I like it and there are a few tunes I do that are pretty good. Better singer than musician.
The first things people usually notice about me
Dapper Dan Man. And or Paul Bunyan

Recently I've been getting "a young Steve Zissou" perhaps my favorite comparison thus far.

Most importantly, and obvious, it would seem, is that I March to the beat of a different drummer and no one's quite sure what that means for me exactly, but I am most certainly... "different" and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Ready Player One, A Song of Fire and Ice, Sirens of Titan, The Watchmen, Battle Royale, East of Eden, The Hobbit, The Sand Man, Fight Club, Choke, Alice in Wonderland, Harry Potter Series, Stranger in a Strange Land, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress

Movies: Birdman, The Man who fell to Earth, Pan's Labyrinth, Labyrinth, Buckaroo Bonzai across the 8th Dimension, most cheesy 80's films, The Shawshank Redemption, Fight Club, Legend of Drunken Master, The Legend 2, Hero, Red Cliff. #1 film: Stop Making Sense

Theatre Shows: Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, Avenue Q, Urinetown

TV shows: Dexter, Adventure Time, Lost, Super Jail, Robot Chicken, The Daily Show, Colbert Report. Battlestar Galactica, Rick and Morty, Daredevil, House of Cards, The Walking Dead, Gotham, Bill Mahr, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.

Music: Gotye, Animal Collective, Lykke Li, Flight of the Conchords, The Beatles, Frank Sinatra, Nina Simone, Miles Davis, Dizzy Guilespie, David Bowie, Future Islands, Churches, 80's, The Cure, Bob Dylan.

Food: Italian, salmon, london broil, bbq ribs, home fried potatoes, sushi (esp. Unagi), spinach, Apple Pie Crust Turnovers, my family's home made white plus bread, Cucumbers, most of all cardamom cake, anything home made, nothing fast food. If I had to live off of one meal for the rest of my life it would undoubtedly be an organic peanut butter and boysenberry jelly sandwich on my home made bread with a tall glass of cold skim milk.

Games: Skyrim, Settlers of Katan, Final Fantasy 7 (greatest game ever made), Texas Hold 'em, Magic: The Gathering, Baldur's Gate II, Devil May Cry III SE, American Mcgee's Alice, Super Smash Brothers (first three iterations), League of Legends, every Final Fantasy game except online and 13, New Vegas
Six things I could never do without
I spend a lot of time thinking about
In no particular order: Relationships, sex, "the one", partners, dreams, art, comedy, theater, my next performance art piece, the random babblings I turn into poetry, what am I doing with my life?, death, love, money, art, what are hands?, why do we have hands?, what's wrong with me?, incomplete tasks and to do lists, who am I?, what should I learn next on ukulele?, work, Ice cream, chocolate, day dreaming, strategizing for video games, problem solving in the real world, what should I wear?, does this look good?, I need to do my makeup, I should do x, y, z, I need to stop doing a, b, c, doggie?!, I don't bike enough, should I shave?, do I grow out my hair bc #baldingisbeautiful or do I cowtow to societal norms and fashion sense?, what day is it?, is there anything to eat?, will I ever get married?, will I ever have kids?, is this it?, how much longer do I have to do this?, how can I destroy Navient/Sallie Mae?, what am I doing today/tonight/this weekend?
On a typical Friday night I am
Always different, if I'm not working an event I'm probably out on the comedy scene, in a show myself or watching a friend's. Either that or dancing.

If I'm in for the evening it's typically spent gaming with a nice box of wine a seriously sharp cheddar and some crackers.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Sometimes I sing to wild animals.

I always stop to smell the flowers.

I never eat movie theater popcorn.

Sometimes I cry while watching a good movie. And I love it.

I always put blankets on passed out friends when they sleep over/pass out.

I never eat spam.

I love the smell of fresh cut wood, old books and tall grass.
You should message me if
You are:
- a bit weird and down to get weirder.
-Sex positive and kinky!
-In touch with your emotions and are honest, mature and upfront about them
-A fucking goof ball
-interested in collaborating on anything really
-need a carpenter
-enjoy beards
-a feminist that also respects men
-transphobic and want me to shut down your ignorant bullshit hard, bc I will cut a bitch.
-have a passion and are dedicated to personal growth and self discovery
The two of us