I'm a critical intellectual in the service of hedonism, a leftist without faith in humankind, a feminist who's disenchanted by the conformist and authoritarian trend of the dominant strands in contemporary debate.
I consider myself very rational and very emotional, and those two qualities are by no means contradictory. I value honesty. I can talk a lot, and passionately, but I can also listen. I try to be open for new experiences. I am not afraid of commitment and not afraid of casual contacts either. I'm dependable, mostly punctual, generally capable of managing life, and good for nothing.
I am willing and able to learn and I think making mistakes sometimes is important and even necessary, because there are things you can only learn through mistakes. I'm adaptable in some regards, opinionated in others, and I will sometimes grow silent and socially awkward when I feel I'm around people who are alien to me.
I love to cuddle and to kiss and I can quickly (sometimes too quickly) grow attached to someone if I feel invited to do so. But by now I think I've also learnt to leave things non-committal if that's what is called for. When a friend of mine cries, I offer my shoulder without trying to make them stop. I try to be careful and attentive regarding other people's boundaries.
I care a great deal about rejecting sexism. I'm the kind of guy who would take offence if somebody called me "masculine."
I am a strong proponent of open relationships. Although I don't like either term, you could call me polyamorous or (maybe more precisely) a relationship anarchist. I have quite a lot to say for that, but let it suffice to mention three things: First, I don't think all that fuss about sex is in any way justified. Why can't grown-up people just have sex if they like (and refrain from it if they don't)? What concern is that of third parties? Second, I fail to see how arbitrarily confining your partner's freedom can be a proof of love (if love is to be a good thing, that is). Third, intimate relationships are one-of-a-kind individuals. I don't care if a relationship conforms to this or that stereotype, or pre-conceived notion of how a certain kind of relationship (romance, friendship, affair...) should look like. Relationships should be about what makes sense for the unique persons involved in their specific situation.
I never use emoticons, and I and never go swimming dressed. These two basic rules of life are the closest thing to a religion I have.
I also work part-time editing a left-wing newspaper.
I'm somewhat lazy. In fact, I see moderate laziness as a progressive virtue: What could contribute more to the general improvement of human living conditions than the continuous struggle to minimize the burden of labour?
Some movies I love are Solyaris, Nausicaa, Teeth, There Will Be Blood, Blade Runner, The Godfather Part I and II, The Fountain, Gone With The Wind, The Wizard of Oz, Shame (2011), The Women, Alien quadrology. I appreciate the work of Akira Kurosawa, Stanley Kubrick, Sofia Coppola, Woody Allen, David Lynch, David Cronenberg, Billy Wilder, Takeshi Kitano, Frank Capra, Howard Hawks, Jim Jarmusch, Sion Sono, Mamoru Oshii. I also have a taste for "Naked Gun"-style comedy.
Some music I like: Swans, PJ Harvey, Barn Owl, Silver Mt. Zion, David Bowie, The Cure, The Angels of Light, Jesse Sykes, Chinawoman, Nirvana, HGich.T, Mogwai, Neurosis, The Yardbirds, Ladytron, The Fall, The White Stripes, Tricky, Portishead, Massive Attack, Arcade Fire, Nine Inch Nails, Johnny Cash, Blur, Fever Ray, The Flaming Lips, Nick Cave, Devendra Banhart, Anna Calvi.
For dancing, I mostly indulge in techno.
I also love Bach, Mahler, and Shostakovich, but I have to admit that as of late, I rarely find the time and interest to listen to that kind of music. Maybe this is how growing old and dull starts.
I don't like jazz. There, I said it.
In personal exchange, I try to be as open as possible with so-called private information. I think it's generally a good idea not to be ashamed of anything, especially not my weaknesses, flaws, and failures. The effort people put into hiding those things (or maybe rather: hiding from those things) would better be spent overcoming them or coming to own them.
...you want to write a book with me.
...you are looking for a companion to see a movie at Arsenal cinema.
...you want to meet me (obviously). I'm fine with writing back and forth for a while, but I'm really here to meet people in the flesh (if I may say so). It's much easier to get an impression when you meet in person.
We have a gender problem here. Many women get more messages than they care to answer (or so I've heard) and I am not eager to join what can hardly be perceived but as a crowd of testosterone-intoxicated spammers. Men, on the other hand, rarely get messaged. Surely this is a sexist state of affairs which each of us should strive to change!
(Of course, men are welcome to write me as well.)
Many people have a notice in their profile disencouraging the use of "likes" because they're not A-list and can't see them. I'm not A-list either, but the point of likes is that even so, if we mutually like each other, OkCupid will give us a notice. So please, do use likes, it can very much facilitate getting into contact.