You probably have never heard of my job.
You definitely wont be able to spell my name correctly.
I can't remember if I was joking when I answered a lot of my questions, so if we are a 95% match and you think I'm an asshole, sorry!
Our professional lives are like social network meets mad men meets goodfellas meets Breaking Bad. And Jerry Maguire.
Making swans out of aluminum foil.
Shooting laser beams out of my eyeballs and teleporting.
I'm only *pretty* good at the last two.
Old spice Aqua Reef
Noxema face wash
Stopping for now so I don't put all hygiene products. Sorry I just went shopping at CVS.
If you come with me sometime I swear a chill will shoot up your spine as we go by.
I also like prank calling the swine flu hotline. Why did they block my number anyway?