Dashing Dom Seeks Scintillating Sub
I am an experienced Dom seeking a partner who would like to submit to me in the bedroom.
Outside of the bedroom, I work full time at a job that I enjoy, bicycle, read, watch plays/movies, attend jazz performances, play Scrabble, cook, travel, visit museums and hike. To add a dimension to the places I visit, at night I often read stories about the areas. Although, I don't own a TV, I sometimes watch movies on my heavily customized Mac.
All year I love hiking. In the area, I especially enjoy exploring Mt. Tam and Yosemite. When I'm not outside you can often find me in a museum. I'm a member of the De Young and the Academy of Sciences. I have lived in two other countries, which has provided a valuable external perspective, especially for understanding issues like healthcare in the US. I love SF's blend of ethnically distinct neighborhoods, topographically rugged parks, accessibility to great views and proximity to places that at least feel like the wilderness. That's why I settled here.
I have a liberal political view, read the Op-Ed page of the New York Times almost every day and am environmentally/health conscious. Twice a week you'll find me in the gym on the elliptical and lifting weights. Once a week I meditate with a Buddhist group.
I seek a partner who wishes to be submissive with me in the bedroom. In terms of D/s, my partners always have a great deal of power and likewise, I have a lot of power. When playing, I do not feel that they give me their power. Instead they give me the authority to direct that power or surrender that power to me. There is a subtle but important distinction between "power exchange" and what I'm describing. It's like when riding a horse, the horse is still powerful but the horse is allowing its rider to direct its energy or giving the rider part of its agency.
In addition to theory, I have also had a significant amount of experience. I've been in the "scene" since May 2004. Since then I've been in five successive, long-term relationships for a total of more than seven years. The women submitted to me in the bedroom only. My former partners and I still communicate and occasionally see each other but not to play.
To learn about BDSM, I attended numerous classes and events. After classes I practiced what I learned. I've also been bound, caned, flogged, hooded, mummified, spiced (as in spice play), etc. This has given me a perspective on what the bottom is going through. Normally I attend 1-2 events in the kinky community per month and I very rarely play in public.
In addition, I took a male Dominant intensive taught by pro female Dominants. Much of the intensive was hands-on and the pro-Doms critiqued the student's technique, energy and awareness. I learned that being emotionally/mentally present during play is more important than technique. The feedback during the class was often harsh but I learned a great deal and am glad that I did it.
In August of 2015 I taught a class for Society of Janus on the subject of online dating. Although I'd been in the scene for more than 11 years it felt odd to me because I still feel like a beginner. In May 2016 I was interviewed by an author writing a book on consensual D/s. I've also collaborated with craftspeople to design or customize gear for bondage and sensation play. Then I've commissioned them to actually create the item.
I take D/s and BDSM fairly seriously. I don't take myself very seriously though and when I make mistakes, I readily apologize. I always play with safe-words, use condoms, wash my toys, respect limits, etc. Also, I'm a member of The Society of Janus and had a mentor during my first year in the scene. References from women I've played with are available.
Photos are available upon request.
Twice per week I exercise at the gym and I average more than 10,000 steps per day. I also meditate regularly.
Besides my paid work, I have served as a volunteer in many settings, both formally and informally.
The Goldfinch, Super Sad True Love Story, Infinite Jest, Cutting for Stone, Middlesex, Raymond Chandler, Junot Diaz, Time Traveler's Wife, Homer, Bel Canto, The Circle, The Story of O, Cloud Atlas, Borges, Joyce, Americanah, The Bone Clocks, White Teeth, The Handmaid's Tale
Why Nations Fail, Botany of Desire, Into The Wild, Moneyball, Thinking Fast and Slow, Robert Reich, Malcolm Gladwell, Stairway Walks in San Francisco, Capital in the 21st Century, Between the World and Me, Atul Gawande, Dark Money, Far From the Tree, Evicted, Lab Girl, Strangers in Their Own Land
Adrienne Rich, Yeats, Rilke, Rumi, Hafiz, The Four Quartets, Yehuda Amichai, The Book of Job, Billy Collins
Tom Stoppard, Arthur Miller, Master Harold and the Boys, Pravda (Brenton & Hare), Shakespeare, Copenhagen, Euripides, Translations (Brian Friel)
Paolo Bacigalupi, Ready Player One, Neal Stephenson, William Gibson, Ender's Game, Daniel Suarez, Neil Gaiman, Leviathan Wakes, The Three Body Problem, Void Star
Tao te Ching, Tich Nhat Hahn, XKCD, Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone, The Way Things Work, Frank Rich, Elizabeth Warren
Blade Runner, early Atom Egoyan, Gattica, Hoop Dreams, Ice Storm, Pollock, Tampopo, Touching the Void, Brazil, Crouching Tiger, Lives of Others, Schindler's List, Erol Morris, The Secretary, Avatar, The Matrix, Batman Begins, Minority Report, Mud, Gravity, Mud, Gravity, Her, Black Mirror (series), Barry Levinson's "Baltimore Films"
Dire Straits, Kate Bush, Peter Gabriel, Earth Wind and Fire, Yo Yo Ma, Pat Metheny, Coletrane, Glenn Gould, Stevie Wonder
Asian and Mexican. I'm a vegetarian but don't care what my partner eats. I love sampling Bay Area restaurants. Some favorites include Pomelo, Chai Ya, El Toro, Café Colucci (Ethiopian), Sol Food, Bay Thai.
Recently I've begun visiting a farmers markets and purchasing seasonal produce.
✔ Tools (I like to fix things and tinker)
✔ Trees, wide-open spaces, sunscreen and rarely DEET
✔ Maps and a compass or a GPS
✔ A sense of wonder
✔ Music (I love Pandora and Spotify)
How we construct narrative/identity.
Martin Luther King Jr. wrote: "We are tied together in the single garment of destiny, caught in an inescapable network of mutuality. And whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly." To me this is a fundamental truth. Likewise it is true that "there" is not effectively an elsewhere. We live in such an interconnected world that it's all one big here, under the same sky. So if we release our hazardous wastes "there," they will return here because "here" and "there" are not isolated. In other words, the environment itself is "caught in an inescapable network of mutuality. And whatever affects one [place] directly affects all [places] indirectly." Taken in conjunction, these ideas of people's and the environment's interrelatedness, form the basis of my moral compass.
Good luck in your search and thank you for reading.