51 Concord, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I really wish I didn't have to be on this site, don't you?

Over all guess I'm looking for someone who is kind, cute and irreverent. Self deprecation is pretty cool, too. Here's some secret handshake info for you guys - if you can laugh at yourself, it's SUPER attractive to most (worthwhile) women. You're welcome, ;)

Having said that, please know, if you're in your twenties - I could be your mommy, so going out with you would be weird. And if you're in your TEENS??!! GO TO YOUR ROOM AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK. Jesus, don't write to someone who could (if you were from Appalachia) be your GRANDMOTHER. Also, if you are just interested in hooking up, I'm not the droid you're looking for. I swear on my doggie's life I don't intend to be harsh. If you saw some of the stuff people send, I think you'd get why I need to say that. Dating is awkward and already makes me feel like a spaz without having to dodge those kinds of bullets, you know? It just seems like there is a ton of that going on here - which is cool. It just isn't for me, yeah?

There are two criteria that need to be met if we're going to date;

1) be someone I will want to shag - eventually. Evennnnnntually, not on the first date
2) don't be a dick

Now I know that when someone does something not so nice, or even mean, odds are they're not really a mean person, they're just hurt themselves, or shy, or afraid. Still, it's a bummer when people are mean, yeah? So I try hard not to do things like that. I'd like to meet someone who also tries hard not to do things like that.

I'm guessing that at this point there are probably only two guys left who will keep reading (heavy sigh), but OK.

I figure I'm smart enough, and a decent person - but most people probably feel that way, right? Still, I think it's safe to say I'm not a genius, or an idiot. I'm the kind of person who's hoping that someone is gonna say something so funny that SOMEONE.....will do a spit take. I love animals and can swear like a truck driver sometimes (need to work on that I think). I have lots of gay friends and let the aforementioned doggie sleep with me. Never would have guessed that would be an issue for anyone but apparently for some people it is. Fair enough.

It'd be GREAT to find someone I look forward to seeing, and think about when I'm out driving around. I'm looking to find someone I like, and want, and can laugh with who is kind but who is also up for giving me a bad time (teasing me), and getting a bad time himself once in a while. Someone who doesn't take himself too seriously and can't wait to share his best day with me, and who thinks of me first when he wants help getting through his worst day. If he's got kids, great! If he doesn't, that's OK, too. I don't have 'em, so the only way I ever will? - is if I meet someone who does. On the other hand - if he doesn't, I won't have to rein in the swearing so much. Just want to find someone I can be in love with who will be in love with me, so we can make each other happy. No big deal, right? - just the MIRACLE of truly falling in love. Ha! Piece of CAKE. Oh, and fyi I cannot see likes here, so please do not be offended if you like my profile and I do not respond.

Now there is probably only ONE guy left. But hey, might as well be honest, no? After all, it only takes one!
What I’m doing with my life
Working. Thinking. Sleeping. Boring, yes? Yes - And probably a big part of why I'm still on my own - but true. Oh, also realizing that there actually IS such a thing as good ketchup.
I’m really good at
Pretty good at my work. Oh, and I think I'm good at making people feel welcome.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm funny. I'm loud sometimes. I'm enthusiastic.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Too much to list. I like funny stuff, creepy stuff, and sexy stuff. If you like super hero movies that will score lots of points with me. I love them, probably because I grew up with smart ass brothers. My favorite movie is To Kill a Mockingbird. The end gets me - every time.

LOVE Game of Thrones. Wish it was on year round. Bob's Burgers is adorable to me. New Girl is funny, very funny (don't HATE). And Archer is always good for a laugh. Cannot WAIT for the next Guardians of the Galaxy movie.

I don't read too much anymore. But I love Frankenstein (the book). Such a beautiful, sad story. Loved Team of Rivals. Theh Psychopath Test was fun. I keep thinking I should read The Legend of Bagger Vance (but I'd want the music from the movie to be playing whenever some inspiring speech was being made in it) I think the Beatles were the best band EVER. Probably followed by Led Zeppelin. Have been listening to a lot of '70's pop lately (think 10cc....but definitely not ABBA). Wish I could get out to see the SF symphony like I used to, but NO, you don't have to go with me if you don't want to. There is a lot of great music out there.

Love a lot of junk food, but a lot of the good stuff, too.
The six things I could never do without
Music in the car.
My garden.
Science fiction movie references (my brother told me not to mention Star Wars, but I think those references are funny, so there).
Lulu, my doggie
Ricky Gervais (I hope he lives forEVER).
My mom (I hope she does too!!!! - in fact I could do without all the other things if I could make that last one happen).
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Does anyone read this far into someone's profile? I'd like to think so, but I'm not sure. Truth? - I got my heart broken a couple of years ago, so I've been spending a lot of time trying to figure some stuff out. I'm gonna leave it at that for now.
On a typical Friday night I am
At home working (please don't be disappointed), or occasionally out with friends.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I can be really fragile sometimes and it bugs me. On a lighter note, I'm a complete lightweight when it comes to drinking, so it won't take MUCH to get me drunk. Oh, and green olives make me sneeze. Swear to god, it's true. But I still love them, because I am a forgiving person.
You should message me if
If you want to be friends? - cool, please write. If you're bigger than me, and you like what I've written and are the kind of guy who'll make me think about kissing him while we're talking? - DEFINITELY please write. And hopefully one day, real soon, we'll - all - be off this site because we've met people who make us feel really good and happy. I just hope to meet someone who makes me feel like his life is better because I'm in it, you know? It'd be SO nice to have someone to wake up next to on Christmas morning! Think THIS is a long profile???? You shoulda seen the even LONGER one!