Desert_Dahlia
41 Washington, United States
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Desert_Dahlia
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My self-summary
A dahlia in the desert may appear to be a contradiction, but it’s not, just quite rare :). I do love the hot desert weather of the California Mojave (where I was born), and also the lush intense flora of the Pacific Northwest in summer (where I grew up). My fondness for physically experiencing the outdoors is a defining aspect of my personality. In a past life, I was probably a western frontierswoman (think both Little House and Clint Eastwood Westerns).

I have insatiable curiosity and enjoy new experiences. I am thankful to my Dad and my Aunts for being able to cook tasty food, and my Grandmother for modeling the value of a tidy, spartan home. I think real food and exercise are the biggest contributors to a healthy lifestyle. I don't have a lot of “stuff” and tend to focus on experiences instead. A vigorous local hike, a home-cooked meal, wine, candlelight, and conversation that winds into the early hours is one example of a perfect date...

I have been practicing ethical non-monogamy for several years, in various forms. I’m open to connecting only with folks with experience or curiosity about this; see www.morethantwo.com. I’m not ruling out monogamy, though. Confused? I understand. What’s important, is that if we establish a connection, I’m open to whatever feels natural to both of us in moving that forward. I believe it’s important that two people who are building a connection have the autonomy to follow it wherever it leads, emotionally.

A woman my height is anything but average, and I prefer a taller man to help keep things in balance. That said, it's really all about how comfortable you are with being eye-to-eye ;) I’m attracted to women from curvy to lean. I like a woman who is who is smart, earthy, cheery, and above all: secure. I love to be romanced--no matter where we are or what is happening, an experience is what we both make of it and I would never complain about a well-intentioned effort.

I previously answered 1241 of OKC's questions...but wait, isn't that what getting to know someone in person is for?
What I’m doing with my life
Play or work, I’m really committed to continuous growth and exploration, and am always looking toward the next intellectual, emotional, and physical challenge--even better if it’s some combination of all three.
I read a LOT. Rowing, yoga (even Bikram), HIIT/CrossFit. When I run it’s typically for meditation not exercise.
Living on the Hill, I enjoy the community-based urban, walkable lifestyle it offers, and yet how convenient it is to also jump in the car and ‘escape’ as needed to the hills :).
I learn and explain things for a living, which is pretty cool because it fits well with my natural curiosity.
I’m really good at
Being playful!
Getting through order of cause and effects to root cause
Compassionate tough love.
Walking away.
Teasing as a form of affection.
Touch.
Making the best of a situation.
Being resilient.
Sensing when to let you in: I’m quite better at boundaries than I used to be.
The first things people usually notice about me
As it relates to visual impression only, it’s probably my height/presence. Once we start talking, it would probably be the energy of my personality (e.g. if "intense" women make you uncomfortable, move along.)

Someone once affectionately referred to me as “one sparky chick”....are you ready? ;)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Media: The Fall, Alias, Rubicon, Battlestar, Scandal, House of Cards, Homeland, Weeds, New Girl, Dirty Jobs, Nova, Jacques Cousteau, Nature, Discovery, TED Talks, Wikipedia (almost daily). Big epic films like Spartacus, and Gladiator, and beautiful movies like A River Runs Through it. Human spirit movies like Pretty Woman and Forrest Gump. I absolutely love Clint Eastwood westerns. The books/mags perpetually in my rotation are Robert Jordan, Dostoyevsky, the Atlantic, Vanity Fair, More than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory. And yes, Christian Rudder, I read Dataclysm.

Food/Drink: I love different combinations of flavors (food, wine, and cocktails), and I try to keep that positive instead of snobbish. I like vegetables, meat, cheese, some fruit; generally keep gluten-free and lower carb (my weakness is cocktails, which I tinker with quite a bit). While I enjoy eating out, I equally enjoy the taste of my own cooking; hopefully so will you ;)

Music - I grew up on Dead, reggae, blues, bluegrass, and jazz. Also, I call Seattle "home", so I have an alternative/gothic streak too and I love grunge and indie rock. Oh. And I absolutely LOVE House music!!!
The six things I could never do without
a human or creature connection,
information,
grapefruit,
my sense of smell,
fresh air,
an occasional dip in the ocean or other water that moves (think river or hot tub vs. lake or pool)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Everything! I’m a really curious person, so I am always trying to figure things out. Particular fascinations are the connectedness of events and circles of people, what makes people tick, how we are different from each other, knowledge and culture, the absolute wonder of music, the depth of human suffering and our capacity to find happiness anyway, you know, the usual :)
On a typical Friday night I am
socializing somewhere. or not.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Yeah, I used to have something here about sex, but you’ll just have to wait ;)
You should message me if
Through my experiences with non-monogamy I have learned a lot from different situations and have developed what I believe to be a healthy and strong understanding of ethics in conducting myself, and strong communication skills to navigate the relationships in my network, inclusive of partners and their partners.

If we meet each other in person for a first date, the expectations I have after that are going to be based on what we’ve actually said to each other, not hidden assumptions, such as dating “rules” or past relationships, or other things that require mind-reading. Courage and reliability are personality traits in a lover/partner that are very important to me. What we actually say will be all that we need because, like me, you: are aware of your intentions, have the courage and respect to be candid with me, and you are discerning with your commitments (i.e. you are self-aware and a person of your word). And if you change your mind (as humans do), you have the courage to admit it.

It’s critically important to me that you demonstrate good partner selection skills.

Lastly, although I'm serious about the communication part, I'm also serious about having fun! Someone very dear to me once said,"don't postpone joy," and I do try to live that way.
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