35 Guatemala, Guatemala
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My self-summary
It's a bad idea getting people to babble on forever to reach 1000 words and then expect others to read those long rambling profiles. I'm not going to do that.

Let me tell you right off the bat that many of the words appearing in this profile are not written by me. In fact, they are lifted straight from the horse's mouth from other OkCupid members (or the tests they have written).

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.

You don't happen to have a mask that you can lend me, do you?

Let some of my test results speak for themselves then.

According to OkCupid's Dating Persona Test, I am the Manchild.

The Personality Defect Test has me put down as the Smartass.

Since I have no trouble with the The Commonly Confused Words Test, I am therefore not an idiot and I become the English Genius.

The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test decided I was more than the sum of its parts, casting me into an amalgamation of all its parts and casting me out as the Outcast Genius.

In terms of humor, the 3 Variable Funny Test insisted that I am the Shock Jock.
What I’m doing with my life
I work my business in many ways to make my money.

When I make enough money, I'll start building up my army and eventually take over the world.

Alternatively, I'm scrapping to make ends meet and inflating my actual income by 1000%.

Either way, I don't work a conventional job or lead a conventional life.
I’m really good at
answering questions.

Ask me.
The first things people usually notice about me
"Hopeful. Awkward. Soft-headed. Fire intrigues you. You are The Manchild." - okcupid

"You are the Smartass! You are rational, extroverted, brutal, and arrogant. In fact, you could very well be the anti-Christ, as you are almost the exact opposite of everything Jesus was supposed to be. While Jesus says love your enemy, you say love beating the crap out of your enemy. While Jesus raises the dead, you raise hell. While Jesus walks on water, you tend to sink....... At any rate, your main personality defect is the fact that you are self-centered, mean, uncaring, and brutally logical." - Saint_Gasoline

"You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!" - shortredhead78

"Outcast geniuses can be very lonely, due to their being outcast from most normal groups and too smart for the room among many other types of dorks and geeks, but they can also be the types to eventually rule the world, ala Bill Gates, the prototypical Outcast Genius." - donathos

"Your sense of humor is off-the-cuff and kind of gross. Is it is also sinister, cynical, and vaguely threatening to the purer folks of this world. You probably get off on that. You would cut a greasy fart, then blame it on your mom, and then just shrug when someone pointed out that she's dead. Yours is hands-down the most outrageous sense of humor; you like things trangressive and hardcore. It's highly likely (a) you have no limits (b) you have no scruples and (c) you have no job. Ironically, it's your type of humor that can make the biggest bucks in show business." - jason_bateman

"dead sexy. that's all i can say. wait, maybe i can say one more. clever." - maryjanerx

"Is a smartass smarter than the average bear? Maybe?" - Xaniger

"He certainly isn't afraid of talking. It's getting him to shut up that's the trick. Sort of like Donkey from Shrek except more obnoxious and sardonic." - NoLonger4u
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I'm a Deist who likes to laugh about almost anything and annoy people close to me.

I'm laughing at you right now.
The six things I could never do without
My parents were divorced when I was seven. My mom won custody and my dad visited me once a week until he moved overseas.

One night when I couldn't sleep, I got out of bed and walked to my mom's bedroom but I stopped at the door when I saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "Ohh, I need a man, I need a man!"

Over the next couple of months, I would sneak out of bed and watch her do this several times.

One day when I came home from school, I heard my mom moaning from the bedroom. When I peeked into it, I saw a strange man on top of her.

So now, whenever I need something, I would go into my room, take off my clothes, and throw myself on my bed before I start stroking myself and moan for what I need.

This last happened a month ago and I was moaning, "Ohh, I need an iPad, I need an iPad!"
I spend a lot of time thinking about
the pennies I might earn if I don't share my thoughts freely with other people.
On a typical Friday night I am
seeking an empty keyway who needs feeling out.

Feel me out!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Only some of the above is true.
You should message me if
either one of our match or friend percentages is actually higher than our enemy percentage.

This because I've successfully manipulated OkCupid's much-vaunted matching algorithms so that our enemy percentage will always be double than either our friend or match percentage.

If you can get either match or friend percentage to be higher than our enemy percentage, you are my soulmate and we should definitely unite to take over the world.

Or more likely, you are ME.

Hi, me! How are you doing?

You are so awesome.

Alternatively, you should go ahead and message me if you are Curvy and Naughty.

Ignore those match/friend/enemy percentages. They are just numbers.