52 Melbourne, Australia
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My self-summary
I'm intelligent (with an inquisitive, imaginative and analytical mind) and an independent thinker. I'm confident, warm and gentle, and very honest and open.

I'm at OkCupid looking for everything from a new platonic friend to my rest-of-life partner.

This profile is for spreading the joys of Devotional Sex and hopefully for me to find someone to enjoy doing this with me - either when dating (and maybe this leading to a life together!) or as just intimate friends.

For more information about me see my other profile - MichaelKMelb. The other profile also has a different set of photos.

During a ten year relationship I developed a new mix of parts of Tao, Tantra and more which worked wonderfully to enhance passion and pleasure for both me and my partner. Though sex is better, the biggest benefit is an increase in intimacy and connection and thus a better relationship.

When this relationship ended in 2001 I was brave enough to try this new technique when dating and I found that my dates loved the way we could share intimacy without going the whole way.

This success inspired me to share my ideas with the world and I now work from home writing my website.

Devotional Sex has three main components:

The first is from Tao where the man does not ejaculate most times he has sex (but he can learn, as I have, to orgasm without ejaculating).

The second is Tantra - with no rush for the man to reach his end-point, what happens becomes slower and more sensual. And as with all tantra the key is connection with your partner rather than just selfish pleasure.

The third component is that the man gives his partner control of what happens and when. Without acting or feeling dominant she uses this control to both enhance her own fun and pleasure and to ensure that her partner is also kept very happy.

First intimacy using Devotional Sex:

With 'normal' sex the usual is nothing much happens and then, be it the 1st or 6th date, the couple decide to have sex and everything happens.

With Devotional Sex the woman has control and so some erotic intimacy can be enjoyed without there being any slippery slope. So giving my date a foot massage can easily be enjoyed without things going further.

One fun possible next step is that one person fully or partially undress whilst the other remain clothed (of course my date decides whether this happens or not, and if it does she decides who will undress). This creates a wonderful erotic tension!

I've enjoyed dates where I've ended up naked while giving my date a foot massage (and we don't go any further).

Kissing and cuddling are wonderful in bed, but with 'normal' sex doing this usually means much more is expected to happen. With Devotional Sex I don't ejaculate and I don't believe in intercourse in the first few dates, so going to bed with me doesn't have the usual ending.

So if my date wants to go to the bedroom, and she has me put my underpants back on first, my underpants often stay on the whole time.

As I love giving oral sex I am keen to do this if allowed, and so even though (with our first time in bed) my date never touches me, she can enjoy an orgasm or two.

Though I'm the one who sets up the Devotional Dynamic, part of the excitement for me is I have no idea what will happen and how far things might go. And though this probably all sounds very strange, the dynamic usually starts to feel natural and like a new normal fairly quickly.


When a romantic relationship develops I've found that Devotional Sex significantly enhances both passion and intimacy. Naturally things will move ahead and perhaps around our 6th intimate session we will have intercourse. This becomes a very memorable first time!

Devotional Friends:

Devotional Sex opens up new possibilities for when romance doesn't develop.

Intimacy, sensuality, erotic fun, and sexual pleasures are such an important part of life that single people should not miss out. But convention is that either singles remain chaste, find a friend with benefits and do everything, or have a series of dates which are often disappointing sexually and emotionally.

Devotional Sex provides a new option - Devotional Friends. By agreeing that we will never go all the way (no intercourse) and that I will never ejaculate when with you, a whole new playground opens up for exploration. The woman decides which mix of intimacy (cuddles), sensuality (massages), erotic fun, and sexual activities take place. Things can remain mild, or it can include lots of adventures - you decide!

In a relationship there needs to be some equality. But with a Devotional Friend I'm happy for things to remain unequal. So, for example, I'm happy to give you oral sex without you ever returning the favour. (And the no-intercourse rule is mainly for the start of the friendship - if both later want to go further there are no Devotional Sex police to prevent this :)

With an open and honest Devotional Friendship each can have other friends and, most importantly, keep looking for a romantic relationship. (Of course if either starts romantic dating with someone else then the Devotional Friendship will become platonic friends.)

As I know that it could be years before I next find love finding a Devotional Friend would be wonderful.

I'm happy to answer any questions about Devotional Sex (even if you’re not interested in meeting me).
What I’m doing with my life
Looking for someone :)

I live near Chadstone shopping centre. At the moment I don't own a car (but I do fully own my own house and are financially secure). So I would prefer to people who are happy to meet up near me or somewhere easily got to with public transport like the city.
I’m really good at
using erotic energy to share intimacy and sensuality with my Princess.

Of course a rest-of-life partner is best, and romantic dating may lead there. But I think it important to be able to enjoy erotic intimacy and pleasure when I don't have love in my life, and I'm pleased I've found a great way to do this.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I'm a huge movie fan - particularly art house and cult.

I have a huge blu-ray and DVD collection, and a great system to enjoy them on.

I'm also a big music fan ranging from classical and jazz, to progressive rock and old-style electronic.

I love eating out at local restaurants (especially Indian, Thai, and Japanese) and I usually enjoy some red wine with my meal.

For more see my MichaelKMelb profile.
The six things I could never do without
1 - my friends,
2 - meaningful sharing of intimacy, sensuality, erotic fun and sexual pleasures,
3 - my huge collection of music and movies,
4 - my large coffee in the morning and good food in the evening,
5 - my bicycle (with no car I need this to get around!)
6 - the internet - both for work and pleasure. (I don't do Facebook or twitter).
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Politics, the meaning of life, movies and music, and now I’m thinking about how best to find a romantic relationship or a Devotional Friend.

I enjoy talking about Devotional Sex because it is only by getting lots of feedback from others that everything has come together. But I have many interests so try me on just about anything!
On a typical Friday night I am
spending the evening alone at home with music, TV or movies, or enjoying a nice meal at a local restaurant with a friend.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm a very open and honest person, so though I would never identify who I did something with, I'm happy to tell you what I've done.

I've added lots of comments to my answers to the questions - have a look if you want to know more about me!
You should message me if
you find my profile interesting and think it might be fun to meet me.

I have not paid so I cannot see who has visited me or who likes me, and I also think it a bit sleazy for me to send the first message to a woman from this profile. So as I won't be sending any first messages from this profile it is up to you, if you are interested, to contact me.

I prefer to meet in real-life fairly quickly (so that we can get a feel for chemistry). Of course I'm happy to message until you feel comfortable about meeting. But I don't' want to form a cyber-relationship.

Meeting at a local restaurant works well, and in fact I think of this site as more of an on-line restaurant club than a dating site because most meetings are just good food, good conversation, and usually things go no further. So if you do agree to meet me I don't have any unrealistic expectations.

I look forward to hearing from you!