25 Portland, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I like comics, video games and burritos. Also bad puns. That basically sums up my personality.

I like to think I'm a pretty big tabletop gaming nerd, DnD, World of Darkness, multi-sided dice, the works. I usually play warriors because being a rogue gets boring and being a Mage takes too long.

I work a lot in a call center and make a decent amount of money, but I don't have my own car and hate driving. I just prefer giving people gas money.

Don't have kids but I want some someday.

Fuck the two-party system, revolution when?

I like guns and shooting them.

Religion? Whatever floats your goat, dude.

I'm a funny guy but I hate myself tbh

Let's get dinner sometime. Then we can watch Netflix or ignore each other and look at our phones.
What I’m doing with my life
Furiously masturbating to SkyMall catalogs and making "That's what she said" jokes.

But actually, working all of the time, playing Dungeons and Dragons, Netflix and chill, video games, and escaping mom's house when I can. I don't have much of a life. Why are there so many special snowflakes on here, at least in my area? Is it because its Portland? Half of the people on here have done stuff like globetrotting, goat raising, unicycle riding and bagpipe playing.
I’m really good at
picking up heavy things and putting them down (like your mom)
making dad jokes
having awesome eyebrows
being the weirdest person in the room (in a good way, not like that other creepy dude at work)
being the butt of jokes, apparently, though always in good fun
making people uncomfortable when they deserve it
absorbing your bad vibes. According to my ex, I'm like a sponge for bad feels and generally help people relax.
doubting myself
sounding like I care in a customer service role
being polite when appropriate
being inappropriate when appropriate
The first things people usually notice about me
I look like someone you know, most likely. I am hairy and I have a big smile. People usually tell me the way I talk is weird, but nobody's been able to put a finger on exactly how. I can turn my customer service personality on and off at a moment's notice without even thinking about it. I'm also very expressive, gesture with my hands to some degree, and I am a hugger if you let me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
A bunch of shit I like in no order: Dungeons and Dragons, Doctor Who, Avatar the Last Airbender, pizza, Chinese food, butts, Age of Empires, Skyrim, Fallout, Gravity Falls, Steven Universe, Rick and Morty, Scrubs, House, Batman, the Flash (the show), The 10th Kingdom, Sandman, books by Neil Gaiman, Settlers of Catan, Magic the Gathering, Pathfinder, World of Darkness, multi-sided dice, Ben and Jerry's, apple juice, peanut M&Ms, boobs, Beethoven, Johann Sebastian Bach, Metallica, BoB, Tech N9ne, Frank Sinatra, Iron Maiden, the Black Keys, Rage Against the Machine, System of a Down, Harry Potter, guns, 4chan, Slayer, Black Sabbath, B.B. King, Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, the Eagles, the Beatles, Rock Band, cuddling, Netflix and chill, hiking, McDonalds, some shitty dubstep, Dominos pizza, Game of Thrones and I'll add more later if and when I think I think of it.

Books: https://www.goodreads.com/review/list/9819598-chris-black?shelf=read
The six things I could never do without
Integrity, self-respect, wisdom, kindness, peace of mind, and a comfy bed to crash in at the end of the night.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
If I'll ever see that cute girl that smiled at me on the bus again. My eventual death and decay into nothingness, or embracing the All-Spirit, whichever comes first. The same thing over and over again. My insecurities, and how they affect me. How much I hate my job, but need the money, so I do it anyways because I have a goal in mind. Your impression of me as a person based on what I write here, and how you interpret it.
On a typical Friday night I am
Relaxing at home and staying up late so I can sleep in late on Saturday, most likely either reading comics, chatting with people online, or living vicariously through strangers on the Internet.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I almost lost my mind from dropping acid once, it was the last time I ever used anything.

I'm also technically autistic, but the last time I got tested, I was functionally non-autistic. Go figure.
You should message me if
I don't message you, you think I'm attractive or you're intrigued by me in one way or another. I don't talk to people that won't hold a conversation, one-word replies are bullshit, yo.

Please message me if you have any corny jokes, I love them and can't get enough of them.