29Seattle, United States
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My self-summary
Hi everyone,
Are you neat and fun and silly? Do you want to ride bikes, run, play, stay up late talking in dive bars, watch movies, hike, travel? I guess, read on.
I'm Simon. I'm not quite as cool as a cucumber but much cooler than most radishes, and I am/might be your huckleberry. I'm a politics/pop culture wonk, singing/dancing fool, & biophile.
I'm interested in people who care about the health of the world and its people and maybe their own health. I love nerdy, pedantic girls. I know that's a bit general, but I get a somewhat uncomfortable talking about myself so I thought it might be better to let some of my friends fill in a few details:

“Floats like a breeze block, stings like a Sweet Valley High breakup.” –robert mugabe
“His theories are quite sensible” - Charlotte Bronte
"When he sings "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" at the karaoke bar, I close my eyes and swear I'm in the presence of the real Sir Elton John." - William the Conquerer.
"He'll knit you a sock and make you laugh until it falls right off your foot." - Uncle Sam
“Makes me feel like a natural woman.” - Henry VIII
"An honest, loyal and giant-hearted person, devoted to spreading peace, joy and happiness around the world as casually as one might spread raspberry jam on crumpet." -seabiscuit
"Not only is his carbon footprint less than zero, his argon footprint is barely visible" -Quetzacoatl
“A pleasant coupling of Wuthering Heights and The Bratz. You should probably just send him a message. ” – Mary Todd Lincoln
What I’m doing with my life
Working towards the dream of owning an alpaca farm in the mountains of Chile, where I'll ride around on my burro, pulling wool right off my alpacas and knitting it into applebottom pantalones for the passing gauchos.
I'm also gone back to school to get my RN.
I’m really good at
singing karaoke, making friends, smiling, laughing, flapping without flying, scrabble, banagrams, apples to apples, making pancakes in the shapes of my favorite states, laughing without smiling, changing the subject, walking on the water, awkward conversations, swimming on the land, dancing, singing, getting strangers to tell me their stories, balancing the dry with the silly, lateral reasoning, cooking delicious food, word games, anagrams, pulling facts & statistics out of the air,living-room yoga, punning, decontextualizing, taking notes that I later find difficult to interpret, a is to be as c is to d style comparisons.
The first things people usually notice about me
This is tough one. I want to say it's the yam-like shape of my head but that may not be true. Maybe it's my Tyrese Gibson-esque bubble-ass, or the way my jowls flap up and down like the wings of a hummingbird when I talk. I do not know.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: and then we came to the end, a gate at the stairs, the broom of the system, atmospheric disturbances, anything by will self, joan didion, carl zimmer. I read a lot so this is just a few recent titles I've enjoyed. I do read a lot, most of what I read is news and essays about politics and current world events.
Movies: Mulholland Drive, 24 hour party people , chinatown, 70s political thrillers, warner herzog, errol morris, Coen brothers, the french new wave, anything with Oscar Isaac.
Shows: black mirror.
Music: pulp, David Bowie, Camera Obscura, wild beasts, neon indian, of montreal, jamie lidell, bibio, and then all kinds of nerdy, digi, dubby stuff.
Food: Pho - veggie please, fruits & vegetables (preferably from the wholesome & beautiful people at the farmer's market)
Tons and tons of podcasts.
Six things I could never do without
carrots (baby and adult varieties)
My bicycle
needles and yarn
my dog
I spend a lot of time thinking about
A proper cup of coffee from a proper copper coffee pot.
Red leather, yellow leather,
That big spoon in Minnesota with the cherry on it.
On a typical Friday night I am
Hiding from the babadook.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Who's that eating that nasty fruit?
You should message me if
I'd love to hear from anyone, but short girls with glasses may get preferential treatment. Also, if you want to teach me how to play snooker, drink coffee together, show me your favorite restaurant, read me a story, recommend a band, go so a live show, take a hike, climb a tree, pull a shape, bake a cake, or start an a capella group.
And as Columbo might say, "just one more thing," I think it's time I learned how to play Pokémon and magic cards. So if you know about those and want to teach me, let me know.
The two of us