Sometimes it complies... other times it screams at me and lets me know there are no beans left in it to crush, and that I need to give some to it. Ok, fine.
After that, I pour one and a half cups of 2% milk into an aluminum mug and set it to heat to a frothy 140 degrees fahrenheit... which I then mix into the coffee in my cup.
Now I am almost ready to drink my cup of coffee, and sometimes I drink some of it right away... but not long until I remember it still needs something else.
Cinnamon. I MUST have my cinnamon on top.
I take out my cinnamon shaker and sprinkle it on top.
Three whole times.
And NOW I am ready to walk outside around my backyard, and enjoy the morning, coffee cup in hand.
And boy, is it a pretty sight! The sky is sunny, the birds are chirping, the flowers are blooming, dozens of bees are flying around my face trying to say "hello" in their monotone buzzing voice.... Can you imagine that? Also, I've got a coffee cup in hand, and I'm soaking it all in... this day feels AWESOME.
Well I kinda just wanted to write you a cute story to catch your attention. And now it seems like I did, because you're still here! :)
But you see, there's more...
Because there are actually 3 specific qualities a girl like you should share with this cup of coffee and this morning.
Hmm ok... that sounds interesting... What are these qualities?
Here, I'll tell ya.
You have to be just like that morning cup o' coffee we talked about.
And you have at least 3 of its qualities...
A sense of style blazing at 140 degrees fahrenheit.
Warm enough to hold in my hands
You enjoy the moment even with 37 bees flying around your face
It's a good combo of qualities that me and my international world-class team of scientists discovered to represent a good match...
Don't believe me? Fine, whatever. You're nothing but trouble aren't ya ;)
But hey, do you want to know what I did? I started reading other women's profiles looking for these qualities, and they scared the hell out of me....
I mean have you seen those profiles? They go like this:
"Stage Five Clinger seeks Handsome Man to call 17 times a day and use up all his Verizon minutes"
Or like this:
"96-year-old sugar mama with youthful outlook seeks potent
young man to support financially, in exchange for midnight 'fun'
in her new million-dollar waterbed"
(update: I would only accept this if you are Betty White)
Or this one:
"Pleasingly plump 590 pound woman wants to meet sincere
fun loving man to care for her and her lovely 18 children."
*slowly backs away*
If you're still reading, then you probably
So if you're soft, kind, and not too shy, come over and say hi.
If you're more than "just another pretty face" ...and you like going on awesome adventures on a whim, then let's talk.
And also, please have a recent full-length photo ;)
Who knows... we might find the world in a grain of sand... or we'll be as compatible as a fish with a bicycle.