DocileBear
30 Cardiff, United Kingdom
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DocileBear
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My self-summary
If you're looking for stubble, you've come to the right face.
------------------ The facial hair is negotiable. The face, alas, is not.

I'm a friendly bloke, with a decent job I enjoy that pays more than the bills, a nice flat (sorry "apartment" - I'm supposed to be selling myself, right?) in town (hence no car - I can drive, I just have no need of it right now and it's saving me a fortune!), a positive outlook, all my own hair, and blisters on my hands from the rowing machine (I swear, it's the rowing machine!). I'm even mostly house trained, although I am still scared of the hoover and will bark at it until it's turned off. Treats and gentle cooing will calm me down though, and I am apparently just adorable with my fur all puffed up.

I snuck over the border from England back in 2009 and have been trying to cover my tracks by adopting my favourite Welshisms. I'm told, by the Welsh, and one American, that I have a really nice accent. That's great, but I still can't bloody sing.

“Loneliness is dangerous. It’s addicting. Once you see how peaceful it is, you don’t want to deal with people.”
Character-wise, I'm cheerful, considerate, slightly introverted (though not shy), silly, affectionate, and independent-minded. I have mild nerditis, which manifests as binge-watching, gaming and reading. I hope I could be described as a humanist; I try to be realistic, compassionate and decent. That said, I spent 2015 working so long and so hard I did nothing else besides sleep, eat total crap and bury myself in fictional worlds. As a result I can tell you it is true; loneliness is addictive, and I'm not really sure what to do with myself now except watch, play and read fiction (the answer, apparently, is join the Lib Dems and get properly stuck in!). At least I managed to sort my fitness out; I am once again a man that can't sing, rather than a blob that can't sing.

In a relationship I'm loving, considerate, tactile and annoying in that on-purpose sense because I believe it's true love when she rolls her eyes at me, or smacks me on the arm, in mock frustration at my latest 'silly answer to her sensible question', but still wants to, let's say, "ignore Netflix". I'm chilled but decisive; that means I'll offer choices up, and they're yours until you say otherwise or start dithering. My default location is "indoors" but that's to do with my solitary lifestyle, and I will enthusiastically brave the real world when opportunities arise. I also think I've figured out this "listening" malarkey. At least, as much as any bloke can claim to do so. As a result my gift-giving skills are well developed and I enjoy figuring out what a girl really likes, and applying that knowledge. This also enhances my annoying-on-purpose potential, so as far as I'm concerned it's a win for everyone!

Most useful life skills:
~ Spider catching
~ Dad jokes
~ Cuppa production

Challenges to overcome:
~ Can't whistle
~ Can't sing, sings anyway
~ Outbursts of misanthropic despair

Seriously, where are all the nice nerd girls? Everyone's all bungee-jumping-this and going-out-with-the-girls-that. So why d'you all need this place to meet a guy, then? Go be social, I wish you well, I'm trying to find a girl who likes a more reserved fella, here!
Primarily I'm looking for a kind-hearted, thoughtful and liberal girl with whom to share box sets, provocative discussion, sunny afternoons in beer gardens, and, if we get really serious, my chips. If that appeals, say hi; I'm no less afraid of you than you are of me, and I don't mind if your message wouldn't win a Pulitzer, as long as it's legible and I can get a sense of what you're about between it, and your profile. Eventually I'd like to do the whole mortgage-maybe-even-kids thing, but I'm really not in a rush and I'd like to think that kind of thing will come naturally with a romantic-best-friend-cum-team-mate.

Oh, and bonus points if you have a good "unimpressed" look. It'll go really well with my puns.

Need Not Apply:
~ The Wilfully Unhealthy: I've happily dated girls with a variety of random medical conditions (including mental illness) and would do so again. If you're unwell I don't consider that to be you, and I will do all I can to learn about and support whatever ails you. However, if you drink or smoke to excess, do drugs, or do not control your eating it will likely put me off. Yes, I'm aware sometimes addiction can be traced back to mental ill health, but if you're at that point there's not much I can do for you, and I'm not in a position to make you a part of my life. My apologies.
~ The Wilfully Ignorant: Alternative medicine has either not been proven to work, or has been proven to not work. Do you know what they call alternative medicine that has been proven to work? "Medicine!" - Tim Minchin. It's a sad thing when people can't face reality, or an aspect of it, and fall back to superstition or pseudo-science for meaning or hope. For example, the alignment of the planets has no bearing whatsoever on your life. Water is nice but it won't cure your everythingitis, even if it comes in pill form and has a massive mark-up. And I'll be honest, I'm also not a big lover of religion. The key word there is 'religion', not [i]'religious'[/i]; I don't bark unsolicited atheisms at my friends-and-colleagues-of-belief, as they don't try to proselytize me; everyone is entitled to whatever imaginary friend, or not, they so desire. The point here is I couldn't, again, date someone who believes that prayer is a thing that works.

I welcome arguments ;-)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Dune - The original "Sequence" is far better than Legends, which is a decent trilogy in its own right. he last two books are particularly enlightened and forward-thinking, with a very clever feminist message.

Discworld! Hell, anything by Terry Pratchett - if you're in to sci fi I promise you you want to read The Long Earth series.

If you're a Lord of the Rings fan please do give The Name of the Wind (sequel; Wise Man's Fear) a go. A genuinely fantastic high-fantasy tale.

The PC Peter Grant series, starting with Rivers of London. Hilarious, and some of the best writing I've encountered.

Mass Effect - Incredible sci fi, a PS3 game series that presents the player with some really confounding moral choices and delivers some heart-breaking moments as your choices result in consequences, sometimes right away, sometimes a game or two later. The voice-acting and music are brilliant, the story is as good as any other fiction out there, the gameplay is fast-paced and good fun, and if you don't fall in love with the majority of the characters you are dead inside! And you can play it all over again, and make different choices. Finally, the developers need to be applauded for allowing the player to not only choose between a male or female protagonist, but to decide their sexual orientation by pursuing certain other characters.

Psycho Pass - TV show, another sci fi, but basically if you want your head messed up by a rather dark analysis of what it means to be human then get yer Netflix box going.
The six things I could never do without
~ Cold water, a habit I haven't dropped since spending a year in Israel.
~ Music, preferably loud. Turns housework from monotonous to therapeutic.
~ A world to get lost in. (Clever, eh? I get to list books/Kindle, TV, Netflix, PS4, PS3, WiiU and PC with internet all under one bullet point!)
~ Food. Everyone nowadays describes themselves as a foodie. I'm not above jumping on this bandwagon, as long as it's a bandwagon with snacks.
~ Analytical comedy. "Reality has a well-known liberal bias" - Stephen Colbert
~ The gym. Fuck me I never thought I'd be one of those knobs who likes going to the gym but actually I do enjoy that shit!
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