-Updated November 23, 2015 -
You know that feeling, when you're with someone and you're waiting for them to touch you, and the anticipation has been not just present, but building? Then, they do touch you, but barely, maybe just a hand brushed by your hip, or the moment when your knees, slide, against one another. Its like that. That moment that I constantly find my self craving. That sensation.
I'm 34, I live in a house with two dogs, and I'm an artist. I went to school for art and I own my own small business. I also work in a law firm to pay my bills. I love to read and I just published my second book. I love music. I couldn't live without it. I'm looking for someone smart and well spoken. Someone who is generally true to their words. Somebody that smiles and laughs often and isn't afraid to make fun of themselves (and others at times). I'm just looking for someone to be special to me. I sometimes feel like everyone takes themselves too seriously.
Oh, and this. This just restored my faith in all this "finding someone" BS we all go through.
Pointing my fingers at things and saying Pew pew pew, 'Murica. Oh, and making shepherds pie and fried pickles. I work in a law firm. So I am doing that too. And making art and all that life stuff people do.
Oh also, yelling "Knock knock you about to get shell shocked!"
Bukowski, Armantrout, Micheal Ryan, good poetry in general. 1984 is one of my favorites and I read it at least once a year. I love Judy Picoult. Chuck Palahniuk has been one of my favorite authors this year. I also love David Sedaris. My favorite book ever is Life Expectancy. This is my new favorite thing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmEbF2uhsZk#t=133
Music: I find there is good music in every genre. Billie Holiday, Dispatch, Amos Lee, Kid Cudi, Toadies, Korn, Bon Iver, Brother Ali, Fugees, Fiona Apple, Nora Jones, Frank Turner, Amphibious Jones, Mumford and Sons, John Denver (yes, I love John Denver), Watsky, Macklemore, Bruno Mars, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Morphine, Paul Simon, Flogging Molly,Of Monsters and Men, Jon Lajoie, Baywood, Hendrix, Eric Clapton,ween, Alt-J, Citizen Cope, Sage Francis, Moldy Peaches, Daughter, The Shins, Pixies, Yeah yeah yeahs, Al Green, Dumbfoundead, John lee Hooker...the list goes on and on.
TV: Luther, X-files, BSG, Firefly, Bones, Numbers, River Monsters, 30 Rock, Archer, Ugly Americans, Arrested Development, Parks and Recreation, Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared, The Tudors, Louie, wilfred, Portlandia, Futurama, American Dad, Game of Thrones, Modern Family , Community, Orange is the new Black, Brooklyn Nine Nine, Nurse Jackie, The Big Bang Theory and Dexter.
I love Pizza.
I love lamp.
I'm looking for the Troy to my Abed.
watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iznVbhE2itU
You Look Like Rain, Morphine.
"It was the best of times, it was the end of times".
Poland. Whether or not terminator is the precursor to the matrix. Art. Friends. Sex. Music. I think a lot about having a farm. The fact that I often see something art related and think "why didn't I come up with that?" Hedgehogs. The fact that cloning yourself is a big commitment. Why is it so freaking hard to find someone to date?
If you have to inform people of your magnificence or tell people how truly unique you are, then you probably are neither of those things.
"Oh, and try to have fun...otherwise, whats the point?"
I love staring at tits. I like hairy dudes. Men that are manly are very attractive. Facial Hair on a man is very sexy. I hate squirrels with a burning passion. I sing (poorly) as loud as I can when Im at home writing in the evenings. I hate being called baby girl. If you say things like, I'm not really into books or reading just isn't my thing, then I'm probably not going to answer any messages you send me. Sorry. I wear TMNT underwear. I find eulogies romantic. I have never been on a motorcycle. I suffer from a bit of insomnia, meaning, I like to stomp around my house declaring I AM NEVER GOING TO BED...and then fall asleep in my footy pajamas next to the fireplace 5 minutes later. That's right, I'm a grown up!
I love it when you are reading something and the words are so incredibly lovely that you have to read them aloud, just so you can hear what they sound like and feel the cadence as they come out of your mouth.
I say crazy stuff when I'm half asleep. It usually involves turtles of some kind.
I like clowns and spiders. Not cute clowns, creepy clowns. Pennywise is lovely. A super creepy clown riding a giant spider would be my favorite thing ever. (This is the part of my profile where most people stop reading and move on the the next lady. But you should consider this, if spiders freak you out, having me around to take care of spider issues or weird clown infestations is priceless.)
You want to talk to me. Why else would you message someone? If you have ever noticed that Venn diagrams look like boobs.
If you are a funeral director or a mortician. Seriously.
If you think banjos are mysteriously sexy. If you're listening to This American Life or RadioLab. If you occasionally laugh at very inappropriate moments. If you have considered being a super secret spy or a ninja at some point in your life. If you wear suspenders on a regular basis. If you love Mr. Bacon and all his fabulous adventures. If you know what I'm referring to when I say I Fink U Freeky. If you randomly scream NINJAAA from time to time for no reason. If you want to come over and make art projects with me.
If you want to dress up like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and eat pizza ( I get to be Donnie). If you want to dress up like any of the characters of Firefly and say things about pretty floral bonnets. If you want to have a Dance Off!
I want to be read like a bowling ball,
being gently pushed down a wooden staircase.
just a gentle tap at first,
and then the splintered wood left in my wake.
Hitting the floor with a thud,
while the house goes silent.
I want someone that is well spoken. Someone that enjoys art and music. Someone that is intelligent and funny. Someone that doesnt want to change the person I am. I know its a lot to ask.