I've been in the cold high country by myself for a few days. I'm pleased to report that I'm more comfortable in my own skin now than I've ever been.
It used to be that I just couldn't sit still. I was always on the move. As I reflect on that now, I think I was just trying to stay a step ahead of my feelings.
Last November I got a real wake up call. I was in the hospital for 4 days. I got my first stent in a coronary artery. I also came home with some drugs that made me feel horrible.
I came to the conclusion that diet and exercise were going to be absolutely necessary if I wanted to get off the drugs.
One more time I had to work the 12 steps in order to deal with my mental obsession for donuts and pizza. I came to the conclusion that my eating disorder was just as life threatening as my alcoholism was 25 years ago.
It's working. I'm down 45 lbs and my blood pressure is lower than it's been my entire life.
I have a colorful history. I've made many mistakes but every so often I get to visit an emotional and spiritual "penthouse". For that I'm grateful.
It's so great to be back in Sonora and Tuolumne County . I've been away for 6 years. Wonderful to catch up with friends and family. I got a PO Box and a storage locker last week. I guess that makes me a resident. The high country has been cold the last few days but, with a good fire, a friend and I have work through a few of those 12 steps.
Next week I'll start looking for my home base but in the meantime I'm enjoying the simple life of a camp fire and the absence of people above 5000 near Pinecrest.
After wordsmithing my profile yesterday, I'm getting emails from an 84 year woman in Omaha. She's being almost inappropriate.
I gave her 10 years to cut it out.
As I review this last year, I'm really tickled with this video i made. I have lost about 45 lbs since I made this. My baby brother shared his family with me. This really speaks to who I am today: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTMI7N5l6vM&list=UUnZm_Kz_a7b1gD8p9RSTHdQ
I know we're all looking for that special person. I'm no exception. However, for much of my life I pretended that I could get a little more than I deserved by being cunning, clever and slick.
One day I had to ask myself "How's that working out". I didn't like the answer I got so I started, slowly, getting a little more honest about what I wanted and, more importantly, what I was willing to do in the pursuit of that goal. Today, I'm a little more comfortable in my own skin. I'm more likely to trust the universe because I've seen that when I'm willing to play the game with some spiritual rules, I notice that doors just seem to open effortlessly.
Take a chance. I love and respect women with courage.
Reflecting on those I've spent significant time with, past history tends to favor uninhibited outdoorsy women with robust, warm personalities.
Passionate, inspired people move me. What I see in your eyes speaks volumes to me. Unsolicited honesty, patience, and warmth are traits that I admire and reflect back.
I enjoy people who are highly communicative but not overbearing, **emotionally accessible** but not wimpy whiners, **genuine**, introspective but not lost in thought, outgoing, spontaneous yet responsible. I also appreciate someone that's comfortable enough in their own skin to sit quietly with me without a word and simply appreciate the "now".
I don't think I can be "in Love" and "in control" at the same time. This is fundamental to me. I would prefer to be single and at peace rather than patiently try to father a woman in this respect. If you would argue this point I would lovingly encourage you to find someone that agrees with your perspective.
Also, be warned, I still like sex. As I take better care of myself (diet and exercise) I find my libido is in a powerful cycle. I like this about me. I grew up in a home where I was convinced that there was something wrong with me for feeling this way. I've made peace with those demons.
I am reborn into the spirit of love when my pride and ego die.
I turned 63 last November. In the months that proceeded my birthday every morning was the same. The inner critic was always reminding me that my life just didn't seem to measure up. It was a depressing period for me.
In the last 6 months the universe has sent me many reminders that the only real problem I have centers itself between my own ears.
My Bibles of recent have been "The Power of Now" and "A New Earth" both by Eckhart Tolle.
This year has been different. I've been making conscious and deliberate choices to do things differently. It's working.
I know that my solution always begins with the truth. I get real about how I feel. Once I've spoken it or put it on paper, it looks different. It looks more like a new beginning rather than an affirmation of something negative.
I'm in the process of re-inventing myself for the 3rd time in my life. Does that mean I'm poor? Yes, by some standards I am. I frequently find solace in the notion that "it's more about the journey than the destination. Some days this is easier to embrace than other days. I still have have a significant attachment to my "own opinion".
I don't generally appear in videos that I produce but I recently started a new series that I feel very strongly about. It communicates who I am a lot better than the typewritten word. If you'd like to watch it,
I make a living as a photographer, graphic artist, video and motion graphic editor. I love what I do. This season
I'll also photograph half a dozen weddings.
These are my other venues:
http://myweddingpix.com/ MyWeddingPix.Com "Photography, Video & Digital
"Web-Based Commercials, Motion Graphics & Web Design"
GoGoldCountry.Com "Gold Country Events & Info."
http://soberrun.com/ SoberRun.Com "A Place to
-solving other people's problems
-hitting the snooze button
-reading between the lines
Not really...I read this on another profile. I think it's funny so I stole it.
Lately, I Can't get enough of Eckhart Tolle. He makes me painfully aware of the "voice in my head".