32 Lafayette, United States
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My self-summary
Update: I recently survived a very abusive and disturbing long-term relationship. While I empathize with mental illness, I cannot afford to attach to those with bipolar or similar conditions. Thanks for understanding.

You'll definitely impress by sending the first message. in fact, you might impress SO much I'll pop the question: Coffee?

**Really pleased you've stopped to read! If anything catches your eye, please start the conversation from there. "Hi," "how are you," and all the rest are not necessary, and will probably not result in much! I wither under the tedium of small talk so you'll be far better off telling me your deepest wish...or why you gel (or don't) with something on the profile! As an aside, even if it's just for friendship, I'd love love to meet some strong, independent women. Do they exist in the USA? Cheers.**

Quick Facts

There's a proper intro following this, but some quick traits: ENTJ/ENFJ straddler. Oxford grad. Lived in Tokyo, Doha, the UK, Bangkok, and (of course) all over the USA. I speak a degrading version of Japanese (renshuu shiyou!). I write, research, gym, and chug my coffee every day. I'm an ardent would-be intellectual and a total sapiosexual.

On Sexuality

Oh...and I'm pomo or demi (as in pomosexual or demisexual not just "bi"...though both sexes work). I'd say Google them, but not much comes up. It's not "pansexualism." It means I'm personality-driven, not gender-bound. Asexual unless there's a complete connection. That means I'm way more into your brain than your body...at least at first...so hookups are right out. Or FWB. Or FB. Ever.

Monogamy rocks.

On Dating

I want a partner. That means I'm NOT an adherent to the misogynistic tradition of "dating." Traditional dating sets the wrong standard. So let's just say that I'm looking for friends with or without the potential for more to grow. Is that because I'm not long-term-oriented? Exactly the opposite, comrade! I want a "life-till-we-cryofreeze" partner, babe. I'm that partner-oriented, 100% dedicated, totally romantic, studly nerd you've always dreamed of. I'd love a lifelong partner. I just don't believe in the dominant vs submissive custom of "dating." (Doesn't mean I won't pick up the tab, though--so long as I'm sure you're itching to do the same.) It's ineffective. Doesn't work. (Spent two years researching what DOES work in relationships, though, for a job I had in the Middle East. Now THERE's some fun conversation!!) I'd like to get the REAL you now...not in six months. So no swapping dinners, compliments, or perfumes. Just bring YOURSELF. This is a cool article that summarizes some of the points I follow: http://goo.gl/DSC4u5

On Friends

I'll be honest in that I'm quite particular in who I find "fun." If you frequently find yourself discussing pop culture, music, films or friends--we probably will not get on. (If you love "Gaga, Perry, and Rihanna...one of us is going to die.) On the other hand, if your tongue twists around words like "existentialism," your hands cramp at cramming sentences with too many compound clauses, and the idea of an ideal evening includes a critical examination of (fill in the blank), we might have something to offer each other. I ain't no genius, but, like a zombie....I want your brains.

If your ideal idea of a night with a friend involves protracted conversation while learning something new...wait...(shudder)...I just had a mind orgasm...

That being said, while I'm not here to "date" (in the conventional sense), the hope is always that one friendship will truly mature into what might be a partnership. Being pomo means it really is about your essential qualities (not about gender or even entirely about looks). Even so, when it comes right down to it, I do prefer fitter folks. And, I'll say it, the less hair where it shouldn't be, the bigger my smile is. And if you're an XY, I do prefer that you don't act like a XX (in speech, swag, or star tattoos). And if you're an XX, I enjoy feminists over feminines. :)

On Sex
I'm a fun sexual partner, rather dominant, but very concerned about my partner's needs. Inquire within.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a consultant at the moment, but my background is in social work and psychology. I've done project management in the Middle East, taught uni and worked in Asia, and studied in the UK. Ask for my CV... :)

Current PhD candidate, doing work with the U.N., writing, publishing, and otherwise waiting for real life to begin!

Very much single...not by choice.
I’m really good at
I'm a people person. Social worker by first trade, social researched by higher degree. Psych PhD is in the works. The human mind is my passion.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm very intense. I don't "take it easy." And I don't want to. Ever, preferably. You?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
On Books: Usually anything that has the power to inspire. Current favs include: The Moral Landscape, The Optimism Bias, the Power of Habit, The Midnight Circus, The Picture of Dorian Gray, the Long Walk Home, Leaves of Grass (because I really hate it).

“The only horrible thing in the world is ennui, Dorian. That is the one sin for which there is no forgiveness.” Lord Henry Wotton explains to a young Dorian in The Picture of Dorian Gray

On Television: I hate hate hate television. Not so much TV itself, but rather that I'm watching it.

I used to love Xena when I was a kid. :)

On Music:  All time fav is Darren Hayes (independent stuff), also: Imogen Heap, Hikaru Utada, like me some MJ Thriller when I'm feeling down, modern classical and acid jazz. Recently into Sleepthief. Billboard Top 40 on my iPhone when I'm in the gym (embarrassed)...but never otherwise!!

On Movies: The Contender, Beetlejuice, Jurassic Park, Little Miss Sunshine, Nine Lives, el Laberinto del Fauno and el Orfenato.

On Food: Anything spicy, but no skin, fat, feet, or eyes. Believe me, it's worth mentioning!

BIG sweet tooth, so long as the sweets are baked. Bring me any non-fruit-based goody and I'm yours. (Why is there no Sprinkles Cupcakes in Indiana?!)
The six things I could never do without
I chose 8. Six is an evil number, duh.

1. A working brain
2. Passion
3. Learning
4. Having inspiring people and situations around me
5. A challenging job
6. Good, intimate friends
7. Travel
8. Freedom to choose
I spend a lot of time thinking about
psychology (maybe since I work as a consultant for a major CBT project on depression), philosophy (informally), and general applied existentialism. I appreciate the opportunity to voice my deepest musings, and relish the chance to hear someone else's.
On a typical Friday night I am
Working, more often than not of late (This PhD is brutal!). But when I have my pals around, we're always on an adventure. One new thing a day, right?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I think my profile has admitted quite a lot?

Had a big list here before...but I think we'll do that on request only for now. :)
You should message me if
You're local. Liked *anything* about this profile. Are feady for a steady....friendship...that matters. (Who knows what may come?)

AND if you want to go on a cruise. Because I really REALLY want a fun bunk mate--and it's too damn expensive alone! :)