Update: I am one year out of a very abusive and disturbing long-term relationship which resulted in, among other things, being stalked. While I empathize with mental illness, I cannot afford to attach to those with bipolar, borderline, or similar conditions. Thanks for understanding (you'd be astounded at the horrifying replies this disclosure brings!)
FYI, you'll definitely impress by sending the first message. in fact, you might impress SO much I'll pop the question: Coffee?
**Really pleased you've stopped to read! If anything catches your eye, please start the conversation from there. "Hi," "how are you," and all the rest are not necessary, and will probably not result in much! I wither under the tedium of small talk so you'll be far better off telling me your deepest wish...or why you gel (or don't) with something on the profile! As an aside, even if it's just for friendship, I'd love love to meet some strong, independent women. Do they exist in the USA? Cheers.**
There's a proper intro following this, but some quick traits: ENTJ/ENFJ straddler. Oxford grad. Lived in Tokyo, Singapore, Malaysia, Doha, the UK, Bangkok, and (of course) all over the USA. I speak a degrading version of Japanese (練習しよう!). I write, research, gym, and chug my coffee every day. I'm an ardent would-be intellectual and a total sapiosexual.
Oh...and I'm pomo and demi (as in pomosexual and demisexual not just "bi"...though both sexes work). I'd say Google them, but not much comes up (try: https://goo.gl/GJdioO, though it's not perfect.)
It means I'm personality-driven, not gender-bound. Asexual unless there's a complete connection. That means I'm way more into your brain than your body...at least at first...so hookups are right out. Or FWB. Or FB. Ever.
You want another label? I'm alt--all the way. So let's skip tradition and create something our own. I want a partner. That means I'm NOT an adherent to the misogynistic tradition of "dating." Traditional dating sets the wrong standard. So let's just say that I'm looking for friends with or without the potential for more to grow. Is that because I'm not long-term-oriented? Exactly the opposite, comrade! I want a "life-till-we-cryofreeze" partner, babe. I'm that partner-oriented, 100% dedicated, totally romantic, studly nerd you've always dreamed of. I'd love a lifelong partner. I just don't believe in the dominant vs submissive custom of "dating" (That doesn't apply to sex, mind you, nor does it mean I'm never picking up the tab-- so long as I'm sure you're itching to do the same.) It's ineffective. Doesn't work. (Spent two years researching what DOES work in relationships, though, for a job I had in the Middle East. Now THERE's some fun conversation!!) I'd like to get the REAL you now...not in six months. So no swapping dinners, compliments, or perfumes. Just bring YOURSELF. This is a cool article that summarizes some of the points I follow: http://goo.gl/DSC4u5
I'll be honest in that I'm quite particular in who I find "fun." If you frequently find yourself discussing pop culture, music, films or friends--we probably will not get on. (If you love "Gaga, Perry, and Rihanna...one of us is going to die.) On the other hand, if your tongue twists around words like "existentialism," your hands cramp at cramming sentences with too many compound clauses, and the idea of an ideal evening includes a critical examination of (fill in the blank), we might have something to offer each other. I ain't no genius, but, like a zombie....I want your brains.
If your ideal idea of a night with a friend involves protracted conversation while learning something new...wait...(shudder)...I just had a mind orgasm...
That being said, while I'm not here to "date" (in the conventional sense), the hope is always that one friendship will truly mature into what might be a partnership. Being pomo means it really is about your essential qualities (not about gender or even entirely about looks). Even so, when it comes right down to it, I do prefer fitter folks. And, I'll say it, the less hair where it shouldn't be, the bigger my smile is. And if you're an XY, I do prefer that you don't act like a XX (in speech, swag, or star tattoos). And if you're an XX, I enjoy feminists over feminines. :)
I'm a fun sexual partner, rather dominant, but very concerned about my partner's needs. Inquire within.
Current PhD candidate, doing work with the U.N., writing, publishing, and otherwise waiting for real life to begin!
Very much single...not by choice.
“The only horrible thing in the world is ennui, Dorian. That is the one sin for which there is no forgiveness.” Lord Henry Wotton explains to a young Dorian in The Picture of Dorian Gray
On Television: I hate hate hate television. Not so much TV itself, but rather that I'm watching it.
I used to love Xena when I was a kid. :)
On Music: All time fav is Darren Hayes (independent stuff), also: Imogen Heap, Hikaru Utada, like me some MJ Thriller when I'm feeling down, modern classical and acid jazz. Recently into Sleepthief. Billboard Top 40 on my iPhone when I'm in the gym (embarrassed)...but never otherwise!!
On Movies: The Contender, Beetlejuice, Jurassic Park, Little Miss Sunshine, Nine Lives, el Laberinto del Fauno and el Orfenato.
On Food: Anything spicy, but no skin, fat, feet, or eyes. Believe me, it's worth mentioning!
BIG sweet tooth, so long as the sweets are baked. Bring me any non-fruit-based goody and I'm yours. (Why is there no Sprinkles Cupcakes in Indiana?!)
1. A working brain
4. Having inspiring people and situations around me
5. A challenging job
6. Good, intimate friends
8. Freedom to choose
Had a big list here before...but I think we'll do that on request only for now. :)
AND if you want to go on a cruise. Because I really REALLY want a fun bunk mate--and it's too damn expensive alone! :)