44St. Louis, United States
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My self-summary
I have been employed for 18 years at the same place and have a decent pension and insurance. You can check "has a grown-up job" off the list.

I have my own transportation and also two forms of backup transportation in case the primary transportation becomes inoperable. You can check "has a car" off the list.

I like to paint goofy paintings.
I can cook and love to cook for others.
I don't drink but I don't mind if you do.
I'm an omnivore but I'm not a jerk about it. If you don't eat meat, I'm not going to order a steak and chastise you for not eating meat. I'll probably just eat what you are having.

Everything in this section below this line, I made up just to be weird. Everything except for the Yipiyuk line. That is important.

I do not have common sense.
My sense is far more superior.

In 1978, just before my fifth birthday, I invented salads. The world has never been the same since. Four years later, I invented the crouton.

Do you know what a Yipiyuk is? It's not required that you know but knowing does increase your chances of winning, no purchase necessary, relatives not eligible. :)
What I’m doing with my life
Researching non-competitive uses for the ping pong ball.
I’m really good at
Shaving orphans. Typically, orphans don't grow beards but I am available if any orphans need any facial hair removed for any reason. So far, I've never shaved one but I just know I'd be great at it.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm carrying a large spoon. Most of the time I don't have the large spoon with me so people then notice other stuff.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
OK, this section, I'll answer seriously. Then back to my nonsense.

Favorite book?
Fox In Socks by Dr. Seuss
I've read other books, more mature titles, but to completely honest, this was definitely my favorite.

Favorite movie?
I don't have a favorite movie.
I do however have favorite groups of movies. Bond films, Star Wars films, Coen Bros. films, Comic book films, I really could talk for hours about this.

Favorite shows?
I don't watch much TV. I do enjoy my Netflix time though. As of today (10-9-2016) I am on episode 11 of Luke Cage.

Favorite music?
My music choices don't fit any genre. If I like you, I'll let you browse my Spotify Playlist.

Favorite food?
Fried Chicken.
Hodak's is not fried chicken.
On a typical Friday night I am
Sewing party outfits for party chickens. They really like epaulettes for some reason.
You should message me if
You like feeding steak to dogs.
You think boxers should learn to be friendlier to their co-workers.
You can't resist a clear dry erase board.
You think googly eyes should be mandatory.
Regardless of how you feel about spiders, still leave them alone because mosquitos are worse.
You appreciate the fact that I didn't say "irregardless" in that last sentence.
The two of us