25Citrus Heights, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I have 2 kids. I produced them asexually. I'm on here more to observe people than to look for a boyfriend. Seriously, the shit people say and what they think sells them as a potential partner is hilarious. I really love getting messages from weirdos or guys who have one sentence and no picture on their profile. Yea, good luck. I enjoy making a bad first impression when it comes to social situations and not giving people chances. I've come to realize the creeps on here will message me no matter what this part says, because they don't actually read anything, just look at the pictures. Now if I were to be interested in someone, they'd have to meet my standards. I love tall white boys with blue eyes who keep military appearance standard. If you're attractive, you know. If you're not, don't get pissed when I don't reply. I hate facial hair and gauges. And glasses. guys who wear glasses always look suspicious. I wont date a guy who wears flip flops since feet really gross me out. If a man is attractive AND funny, well I'm sold. Too bad that pretty much doesn't exist. Maybe I'm too picky. My name is too uncommon so you can call me Spoon until further notice. I'm a metal head, goth, punk, and gangsta all rolled into one. People call me weird, which is probably actually a much better description. I do a lot of things, have a lot of hobbies, yet still manage to be lazy as hell. You have to talk to me to understand what I'm like, if I continue writing on here you'll just get more and more confused....

I am weird, cynical, and sarcastic.
What I’m doing with my life
Recent uc Davis grad. I work. I have my kid full time. I'm usually pretty busy. Aiming for AF reserves in the near future. I plan to live between Germany and California when I'm older. I would like to work with real estate, act, model, have a band, do paranormal research, write a couple books, and have fun doing whatever I feel like. One day I will control at least half of the world.
I’m really good at
-speaking german
-sports (tennis, soccer, baseball, etc.)
-video games
-being lazy
-eating way too much food
-looking like either an anime character or gothic lolita
-learning stuff that interests me
-being psychotic
-not getting lost
-uhh....forgetting stuff
The first things people usually notice about me
Sometimes it's the tattoos, sometimes it's all the dirt and shit I get on me from working on people's dirty ass cars. No more piercings :(
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
books: sweetblood, satanic bible, the vampire lestat, or pretty much anything from Anne Rice and a lot of other books that I can't remember at the moment. I've read a lot more, but most books I find to be fairly boring.
Movies: I watch a lot of movies. I like the ones that are supposed to be scary but are actually really funny and the ones that actually do manage to scare me. asian horror is actually pretty fucking awesome. some action is cool too. Specific favorites are donnie darko, american history x, eraserhead, house, one missed call (1 & 2 in Japanese), idle hands, wassup rockers, doomsday, reincarnation (Japanese), murder set pieces, mirrormask, sin city, a clockwork orange, boondock saints, the punisher, butterfly effect, pulp fiction, jackass I and II, road warrior, tank girl, 300, the breakfast club, 13 ghosts, the longest day, and others.
Music: Lately all I've been able to listen to is miscellaneous hip hop and dubstep. And lots of Dresden dolls. Genres I listen to are black metal, industrial, death metal, heavy metal, regular metal, nu metal, old school punk rock, old school and bay area rap, hip hop, screamo, pop, alternative rock, hardcore, goth rock, grunge, dubstep, techno, darkwave, new wave etc.
Food: I'll eat pretty much anything. Italian and Chinese I don't like to eat so often though. My favorite kinds of food are thai, Greek, and Mexican.
Six things I could never do without
-something that tells me what time it is
-things that keep me entertained
I spend a lot of time thinking about
-my baby since he now controls my entire life
-my past
-my future
-random things
On a typical Friday night I am
Doing homework, watching movies, taking care of baby, my life stopped being interesting awhile ago.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
lol....one letter, if you understand it, you know why it's not something to be proud of: b.
And the longest relationship I've been in within the last 5 years was only 3 months.

I'd also be interested in finding a couple to join as a third. Just sayin'.
You should message me if
First and foremost, I am here to answer all of life's burning questions. One question per customer, responses not guaranteed. There is such a thing as stupid questions, which will not be answered, nor sexually rhetoric questions aimed at myself.
You may also message me if:
-you think I'd think your attractive or interesting in some way
-want an interesting conversation
-want someone to make fun of
-are considering an occupation in stalking
-have something irrelevant to say that nobody else wants to hear
-you have opportunities to offer me that don't involve sexual favors
- if you're the one person in the world who hates fun, music, and sushi. Just because I need to know who you are
Also, if you send me a message with too many questions and I decide to respond, I will most likely only answer the last one or the most interesting one.
The two of us