Alrighty, pour yourself a whiskey and read the remainder of this profile with an English accent as it will be some time before you stumble across a spicier gal than me, with a wit that will keep you on your toes. I should clarify, I am not from the UK...though my internal dialogue is often a lofty British accent or a slow southern drawl, depending on the situation and players. But what comes out of my mouth is more of a fast talking smart ass.
I understand the difference between being alone vs. being lonely vs. being single. I don't need a hero and I will never be the woman who "can't live without you" (I just prefer not to). And if I invite you into my life it is because I like you here.
In all honesty, I have learned that the numbers on the scale may go up and down, just as the digits in a bank account may do, these are not what define a person. I am a person who values substance over the superficial, I hope you are too. Honesty and openness are a must. Ideally, I am looking for the unchangable in a man.
I have also learned that there are some things we can't buy or fix, like: sincerity, integrity and compassion. They turn me on and they override most blemishes and are more attractive than any label.
If you have the sensibilities (& looks) of Stephen Merchant, I might fall completely, hopelessly and steadfastly in love with you.
I am lucky to enjoy what I do professionally, but it does not define me. When I am not working or playing with my dog, I like to design and create...you know, stuff.
Also, I crank call my mother once a week, but that is already built into my schedule.
Figuring out escape routes in every building I enter.
Origami. Cranes specifically. Badasssss.
Correcting wrongs. Striving to do the right thing, not always doing it, but still moving forward.
Being a hero...I always stop to help. Unless it's a knife fight and I don't have my gun. So, I guess I ALMOST always stop to help.
Making up songs. All the time, about anything. Pepe: the Musical! will be a smash hit, it's about a naughty little dog. I know, you are on the edge of your seat.
My favorite movies: Tommy Boy, yeah I said Tommy Boy (it's the 12 year old boy in me), What About Bob?, Harold and Maude, Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters, 25th Hour, Scarface, Cinema Paradiso and Bruce Lee films. I can spend a day on the couch watching classics like The Philadelphia Story or REALLY crappy Lifetime made for TV shite. I also have a weakness for French comedies. I know that last one sounds pretentious, but I refuse to give them up. I recently watched 13 Assassins, an epic 45 minute Samurai battle scene...WHAT?!??
I love most music (classic rock & roll, classical, brat pack, alternative and country) with the exception of industrial and electronica. I especially love live music and am down to check out most shows.
I strongly dislike Train, Hootie & The Blowfish, Five for Fighting or anything of their ilk. It's fine if you like them, we just won't listen to them when on a drive or wax nostalgic about "that kick ass Train concert" (mostly, because I do not believe THAT could ever happen).
1. My dog, Pepe
2. My Burt's Bees Wax lip balm
4. My loved ones
5. My happiness
My irrational fear of midgets (sorry little people), dolls, home invasions and slimy things touching me.
I suspect I could be a wizard with a speculum.
Smaller testicles are linked to being a more caring father. Criterion on which to further judge you gentlemen. It's science!
Hiking and/or when I will get to be in the sun today. Maybe you feel the same, that would be grand.
The absurdity of life.
How sometimes the "Thing" is not the "Thing".
What will happen once the monkey learns how to make fire.
If I were a gay man, I would definitely be a bossy bottom. I think.
How some music sounds like whales raping each other.
You should not message me if your first inclination is to send me a photo of your dick or you in fetish wear. Get to know me first for fuck's sake...I may surprise you.
A special note for the 20something young bucks, I thank you for your generous offers of "young dick", but I will pass. Now you best go home and put on your daddy's shoes, cuz this here is a man's game as I value the experiences of men a little older than yourselves.