43 New Orleans, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Wow, this needs some updates....soon to come.
I've lived in New Orleans for a while before Katrina and finally made it back 6 years ago. I can't imagine calling any other city home at this point. I've had a lot of strange and interesting jobs in my day, but anymore i mostly work in the culinary industry and pick up occasional construction projects. I'm pretty laid back but can be spontaneous. I've got a dark, morbid, sarcastic sense of humor. I love getting out to explore all New Orleans has to offer, but I still love staying at home and throwing down in my own kitchen without having to pay threw the nose at some overyhyped restaurant.
What I’m doing with my life
Living it. World domination. Scaring small children and clubbing cute, fuzzy baby bunnies with a lead pipe. Trying to get my shit ALL the way together.
I’m really good at
Playing the devil's advocate.
Pushing people's buttons to see what these buttons do.
Standing butt rubs.
Remaining cool and rational despite all the bullshit and chaos life throws at you.
Being a jack-ass of all trades.
Responding to random craigslist missed connections adds for shits and gigs being "that guy" from "that bar" that some random drunk girl had made pukie mouth hole foreplay with last weekend.
The first things people usually notice about me
that i just told them to go fuck themselves with the recockulouslely large
bag of dicks they recently sucked
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books... Phalahniuk, Bukowski, Robbins, Kinky Freedman, Burroughs, Vonnegut, Bret Easton Ellis, DIY, and history of all kinds.

Movies...Fight Club, American Psycho,Lock Stock, Snatch, Mean Machine, Wristcutters, Doom Generation, Heathers,Shawn of the Dead, No Mans Land, The Big Lebowski, Montey Python, Tarantino, Peter Jackson(his old b-movie stuff), the Cohen Brothers and LOTS more. I love movies and I'm thinking that just Netflix isn't enough.

Tv... Breaking Bad, Boardwalk Empire, Game of Thrones, Red Dwarf.

Music..older and local punk, blues, brass, gypsy, some older rap and country.

Food...I am NOT a foodie. This fad makes me want to slip rat poison or various bodily fluids into peoples entrees. Don't get me wrong, I love going out and trying new restaurants and eating at some of the "best places in the city" but I'm just as excited about tracking down the best fully loaded chilli cheese tater tots in the city.
The six things I could never do without
My family.
My dog Roxy.
Good food and drink.
Bodies of water to jump in.
My vile, annoying yet indispensable phone.

They asked do without not live without so air, food, clothing, and shelter so I assume they come complimentary.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What exactly went wrong with my last endeavor to take over the world.
A better minion recruitment policy.
Which weird, crazy, oddball project to start working on next.
Where the hell is the tiny Hulu remote this time.
On a typical Friday night I am
Cooking your meals, hauling your trash, connecting your calls, driving your ambulances, and guarding you while you sleep. I'm not the one with which you should be fucking.
My "weekends" are usually during the week and I like it that way. Overcrowded bars, annoying tourists, and standing in line ten minutes for a round of drinks is not exactly my idea of fun.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I once go so drunk I filled out an online dating profile.
I'm extremely camera shy and avoid pictures at all costs.
Filling out this profile WITH pics almost made me have a conniption fit.
You should message me if
You're filthy rich and want to whisk me away from this four letter word called work.
You want to raid various hotel rooftop pools and hot tubs in the quarter together.
If we are a high match % and you put all your stock in the love Gods/"experts"/whatever troop of retarded rhesus monkeys they have running the show down at OkCupid and you want to elope, sell all our worldly possessions, and skip hand in hand like idiotic, drunken midgets into the sunrise, give me a jingle.