I am a post-doc at UC-Berkeley in physical chemistry. I really love my lab, the project, and the professor for whom I work. I developed computer code for molecular dynamics simulating molecules (water, protein, DNA, RNA) using polarizable models of the potential energy. It was probably one of the most difficult things I had to do! It was a 3 1/2 year project starting in Feb. 2013, and ending fairly recently. I learned a lot about parallel programming and scientific computing. But I can't help but feel that the whole course of the project was a bit like an Antarctic expedition where you underestimate the distance to the South Pole. I'm applying to permanent jobs now in academia and industry.
I've enjoyed lifting weights for the past 22 years, and I like jogging. I've become a bit of a weekend warrior, but I really do my best. It means a lot to me to be at my best physically for any woman I'd be with.
In what little free time I have, I play keyboards and make ambient music. But it's not 'Music for Airports', nor light fare. I tell people that they should imagine a stack of Beach Boys records being dipped in benzene. I like a lot of tritones, and a feeling of lack of resolution. Even though I feel distinct from Brian Eno and other ambient composers, I think the best compliments I've gotten are comparisons with Brian Eno, and claims by a friend that one of my pieces was the most terrifying music he'd ever heard. One fellow open mic musician said that listening to another piece of mine was like having her heart ripped out.
A big current influence is the drone metal band Sunno))). I've been getting into Throbbing Gristle of late. Thrash metal, especially '80s-'90s Slayer and Megadeth, but I'm not really a metal aficionado per se.
I'm a sincere person. I'm intense. I want serious conversations, and don't do small talk. I don't mind awkward silences. I enjoy being genuinely nice to people. I feel like a lot of my dating relationships have been spoiled by my Asperger's. However, I do feel like marijuana has opened my mind and helped me break down the barriers to making good impressions on women. I'm much better at listening that I used to be, make better eye contact, and read between the lines better. I don't truly believe that all the negative aspects of Asperger's were 'cured' by reefer, but I do believe it helped. Certainly a long road of life experience helped.
Anyway, I'm supposed to sell myself in these ads, so here we are:
I feel like I'm more persistent/dogged than others perhaps; I will work on things to extreme exhaustion. I feel like I constantly want to improve myself mentally and physically.
I'm trying to improve my skills in science (right now, programming) and performing interesting music.
Fiction: 'God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater' by Kurt Vonnegut; 'Herzog' by Saul Bellow; 'Rabbit Redux' and 'Rabbit Is Rich' by John Updike;
Non-fiction: 'Quantum Chemistry' by Ira Levine; Hans Wehr's Arabic-English dictionary; 'Molecular Modeling' by Andrew Leach
Movies: Midnight Cowboy, Taxi Driver, About Schmidt, Mulholland Drive, What About Bob?, A Serious Man
Music: '70s progressive rock and jazz fusion(e.g., Genesis, Yes, King Crimson, Soft Machine, Brand X), krautrock (Kraftwerk, Tangerine Dream, Klaus Schulze), other electronic and ambient(Brian Eno, Aphex Twin, et al.) , 20th century Western classical (Bartok, Shostakovich, Ravel, Prokoviev, Steve Reich, Phillip Glass, Terry Riley), & Indian classical are among favorites. But basically I like any music that is challenging, harmonically interesting, has great melodies or chord progressions, great texture or instrumentation, etc.
Food: All flavorful food, but especially Indian, East African, and Mexican.
-Good music (see above).
-Keyboards/Means to make music
-Platform/chunky heeled boots/shoes.
-Jogging while listening to Tangerine Dream albums.
I also spend a lot of time thinking about whether I will make any major breakthroughs in physical chemistry or computational biology (I have some decent papers, but not breakthroughs). I would ultimately like my research to be able to make predictions on proteins, DNA/RNA that have therapeutic applications, in particular, in brain and spinal cord injury. The therapeutic side was my ultimate inspiration for my current field.
I think a lot about my dating failures, feeling bad about missed signals or missed opportunities. Also feeling bad about platonic friendships that could have gone better. I've struggled with depression. But I feel like I'm overcoming the limitations of Asperger's (See above.).