Ehhhhhhh5
26 Philadelphia, United States
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Ehhhhhhh5
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My self-summary
Hey. I'm Dexter. Between 2008 and now I lived in Massachusetts and North Carolina & South Jersey n' Philadelphia AND I'M A BIG DUMB IDIOT. All I care about is pizza and like 2 people.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a theatre actor, plus I'm a Cluemaster at Escape the Room Philly where I lock people in a room and watch them through cameras as the try to escape (I'm not kidding)... but what I REALLY want to do is manufacture ear medicine for cats (who doesn't?).

Seriously, all I want is pizza and abs.
I’m really good at
Making flaps moist. Antiquing. I AM ONLY GOOD AT THESE THINGS AND NOTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD.
The first things people usually notice about me
I have girl eyes. Also, I get this a lot: "OMG YOUR NAME IS DEXTER?! Shut the fuck up. You're lying." And one time, a group if high school girls said I look like Ryan Gosling. It doesn't matter if you agree or not. All I know is that I can die happy.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
0MG i LiSTEN 2 EVERYTHiNG!!!1!1

Favorites include:
•Brokeback Mountain
•Drive
•Fresh
•In Bruges
•Jaws
•Jurassic Park
•Stand By Me
•The Thing

I had an unhealthy obsession with television as a child. I would watch 10+ hours of TV a day. I used to wake up at 6am to watch Laverne & Shirley before school. But it shaped who I am, so whatever.

I like that book about being a wallflower and it's perks. What was it called? Oh yeah, "The Scarecrow Walks at Midnight".

I butter my bacon and then I bacon my sausage.
The six things I could never do without
1. Chocolate guns
2. Regular guns
3. Chocolate Ammo
4. Tactical Bacon
5. Showtunes
6. Air
I spend a lot of time thinking about
b00bz
On a typical Friday night I am
Cuttin' up rugs, hittin' the sauce, slayin' dem biddies, and taking names. And sometimes watching the Cosby Show.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm on 6 dating apps
You should message me if
You do not have one of the following tattoos: "Live. Laugh. Love.", "Let it be", "Just breathe", "No day but today", a G-Clef that turns into a heart, a feather, a dreamcatcher, small blackbirds flying, or your zodiac sign. Pretty much all other tattoos are okay.

Also, don't message me if you text while driving. It bothers me.
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