I would really like to say that I am a simple person enjoying life, but that's not quite true. I am a complicated person. Not that I want to be complicated. It's just the way I am, I guess. Quite busy too. And definitely queer. And femme. And polyamorous. You'll have to deal with it. But I am quite enjoying life. :)
And the long version starts here, for people genuinely interested in my "self-summary".
Okay, now, real issue : am I bi or pan? Or queer? Because it is up for debate, at least, for some people.
Let me break it down for you. I don't exactly like labels. But it's hard to function in a world where everything, down to the type of socks you wear, has a label on it. It's hard to go around saying "I don't like labeling myself" without having to define constantly one's identity. Therefore, I have chosen to label myself as queer, bisexual and pansexual, after years of just vaguely answer "I'm into the person, not their gender". I can relate to all three identities, depending of the definition you give them.
The issue of bisexuality vs. pansexuality is real : a lot of people perceive pansexuality as discriminatory, and often transphobic. Indeed, some people describe themselves as pan, meaning that they are attracted to men, women, and trans people. And yes, that view of pansexuality can be considered transphobic, as it marginalizes (again) trans as not proper members of either sex.
This is not my case.
Here is what I mean by pansexuality : I'm attracted to ALL identities, which means both male and female, yes, but also the specter of non-binary identities. For me, these are MANY very different identities, therefore excluding the term "bi", to replace it by "pan", which I find more inclusive in this instance.
You could argue that bisexuality could be about being attracted to binary (which includes both male and female) and non-binary (which includes a wide range of different identities) people, which makes only two different categories, explaining "bi". I wouldn't disagree with you necessarily. This is also one of the reasons why I don't completely reject my identity as a bisexual woman. (Important to note that some people consider themselves bisexual, not in the "standard" understanding of the word; for example, some people who identify as bi could be attracted to female and non-binary).
It is also much easier for people who don't know much about the LGBTQA+ to refer to my sexuality as "bi" than "pan"; though, depending of the context and the person, I usually give the whole speech and explain to them what I just told you.
Right now, I'd say that I identify as queer more than bi/pan, because I like the fluidity of the term and that it's a very broad label.
I am a fierce feminist, always wanting to further my understanding of the movement, of its origins, of its definition, and most importantly, of its flaws. I strongly believe in an intersectional feminism that recognizes and validates what women that are not white, middle class, cis-gendered and able bodied live.
ALSO, good to know : I am polyamorous! An identity that I have been flirting with since I came out, actually, and that I now live to the fullest.
FYI, I have a wonderful (mostly straight) man in my life, and we are happily in an open, polyamorous relationship. We would love to become a "trouple" with another girl, one day.
Long intro. If you're still reading, you're on the right track. ;)
Oh, and I'm really good at procrastinating.
I won't rewrite the whole thing, so here is a quick list of everything I love:
- Star Trek : Let's get bluntly real - if it hadn't been of Star Trek, I'm not sure I'd still be here. It appeared in my life at a point where I was not at all in a good place, and in many ways, it saved me. It gave me hope and I found some strength in the amazing people who form its fandom. I'm a TOS kinda gal, but no matter how much I love Kirk, even I have to admit that Picard is the best captain. I also love Voyager. I'm still working my way through DS9 and Enterprise, but one (sad) day, I'll have watched it all. And I can't wait for the new series to start. Haven't mentioned the new movies much; it's not that I don't like them, on the contrary (well, except Into Darkness). I can never hate the reboot which introduced me to this magnificent franchise. Let's talk about it around a drink, maybe some Saurian Brandy or a Romulan Ale.
- Star Wars : AH. You thought I was merely a Trekkie. But of contradictions I am full. I grew up with the adventures of the Millennium Falcon, and for me, Star Wars is tinged with nostalgia, of Christmas time and snow days, of discovering space travel and starships. Star Wars will always have a special place in my heart.
- Harry Potter : There will never not be a time when rereading Harry Potter will not be a treat. No matter how critical I am of some aspects of the franchise. Harry Potter was my first fandom. And it will always be one of those stories that stay with me forever. That tinge of nostalgia I was mentioning about Star Wars - well, Harry Potter resonates even deeper in my highly nostalgic soul. "After all this time?" "Always."
- Doctor Who : All of it. Though, it's high time that Moffatt gets replaced. Please.
- Hannibal : GOD THIS SHOW. Definitely one of my favourite ever. Also - Hannigram gives me life.
- SO MANY OTHERS. His Dark Materials - still amongst my favourite books ever. Everything Ursula LeGuin has written. The Handmaid's Tale. The Giver. Babel-17. Ballard's short stories. Anything scifi, really. Afrofuturism. Haruki Murakami. Milan Kundera. 2001: A Space Odyssey, Tge shining, A Clockwork Orange. I love Kubrick. Alien. Aliens. Tge Hannibal Lecter movies. X-Men. Comics & series. Daredevil/Luke Cage/Jessica Jones. Both comics & series too. Stranger Things. X-Files. Black Mirror. Comics. Mad Men. #ILOVEITALL
- I love historical dramas. I don't know why. Just finished The Crown and I'm like i want to watch all the historical dramas and movies now. Or you know, rewatch Downton Abbey.
- As for music and food, I won't even start. I'm too eclectic in my tastes to even begin summarizing.
MY CELLPHONE. Yes. I know.
MY CURRENT NOTEBOOK. I just need to sketch/write random shit/note silly quotes.
A PIANO. I currently don't have one where I live AND I FIND IT VERY HARD.
MY FRIENDS AND MY SISTER. Yeah, they aren't "things", but I really don't know how I would get along with them.
FANDOMS. And slash fanfictions.
Oh, and SEX. Sex is great.
I'm poly, I'm queer. You can ask questions, but this is my identity, so it's not up to you to try and define who I am.
Not looking for random sex with a guy who can't understand women want to have orgasms and only think of his pleasure.
Not looking for assholes and douche people in general.
Just message me if you DO NOT (I repeat, do. not.) traditionally start your messages with something like, "I don't know what's cooking, babe, but it's hot." Or anything like that. Please.