23La Grande, United States
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My self-summary
Genderqueer. Zhe/Zher/Zhim.

· not recommended for kind, sweet, wholesome shy nerds
· goes best with artsy emo fuckups that r dead inside but wanna feel alive
· PELIGRO: never mix with boring apolitical gamebros, preachy centrists or edgy reactionaries

Cool with: Polyamory and Open Relationships
Not Cool with: casual or short-term dating. Don't get me wrong I love to meet as many people as possible and if that's you then do you. I just have PTSD and Borderline so I REALLY don't have the mental/emotional energy for it anymore.

http://endel4.tumblr.com/ describes me better than I could put into words.

IMPORTANT: If you're only interested in "success," "peace & quiet," or have a problem with a radical/political or fun/experience-based lifestyle, don't even entertain the thought of a relationship with me. I am only interested in dating dynamic individuals.

Geeky party ghost. I like depressing shit and radical poetry. I spend all my time going to concerts. I epitomize my astrological signs (taurus, leo moon and leo ascendant), and I quite enjoy a drink. I'm very passionate about social and economic justice and I love to have fun, yeah!! *90's skateboard high-five* Music is my everything. I immerse myself in the Humanities, and I always enjoy talking about them. I'm a 4w5 XNFP who is Chaotic Good (more like Chaotic Mad tbqh), haha.

I LOVE cities and the snow. I have this weird fantasy of dancing to lo-fi music with my significant other in the late hours of the night. I'm a giant romantic, sob. I'm also attracted to silent, small, secret places out in the middle of the woods only I know about. That kinda stuff makes me pretty emotional, actually. Also, gHOSTS. I love ghosts in a way I can't even begin to understand.

Other weird things about me uhh,
- I am very much extremely incredibly super passionate about mental health pride & activism and anti-imperialism (I'm working on this thing called Neuroanarchism, like radical mental health but explicitly anarchist)
- I'm an insurrectionary (probably) anarcho-communist queer pro-feminist who is the enemy of douchey white comedians. Capitalism and Nationalism must end.
- Again ghosts okay I just really love ghosts. And no, I don't believe in ghosts but I have like a spiritual connection with them (ahaha)
- I'm so into surrealism and existentialism dude u have no idea. Love post-structural stuff too, as well as critical, social and conflict theory.
- I really love music history! I used to do college radio and I really enjoy talking about regional scenes and genre emergence. A part of me really wishes I could live in the Rocky Mountain region in the 1990's so I could have been part of the zine culture there.
- I love studying religions! Ex-Catholic and former Reform Druid as well. I guess I still really identify with Neopaganism even though I'm adamantly atheistic and irreligious. I guess I just feel like it's a huge part of who I am? Anyways, I thoroughly enjoy studying pretty much any religion! TALK TO ME ABOUT ZOROASTRIANISM, *PLZ*

My sexuality can be most easily described as asexual queeromantic.

ALSO IMPORTANT: I'm very neuroatypical. I have diagnosed Major Depressive Disorder, OCD, ADHD, and High Anxiety. I have undiagnosed PTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder. If that's a problem to anyone or makes you view me as anything less than human, you can fuck right off.
What I’m doing with my life
Being a literal ghost.

Getting everything sorted out to return to school at for a double Communications (Emergent Media & Political Advocacy)/Sociology Major with a minor in LGBT Studies.

Aspiring weird lofi/post-punk/noise/ambient musician. I play drums too and I write lyrics all the time. Relearning guitar.

I have a billion or so dreams about my future, but I'm still really aimless. If you're an adventurous person, we'll get along great. I could tell life stories about squad hijinks for days.

My eventual dream is to move to Toronto. It's been my dream for a really long time and if my life had a story arc, I'd guess I'd say it'd be getting there.

I also wanna visit Lappland. It's so beautiful. Maybe even go to the Ice Hotel.
I’m really good at
If it had to be one thing, it'd be getting people hyped up for something, or bringing people together to do a thing. I can do philosophy and event organizing and I'm really knowledgeable when it comes to politics, debating, emotional stuff and neuroatypicality. I also have the ability to learn in-depth and in concise detail about things to an unreasonable extent on a whim.

I can write poetry on a whim. Its like a natural function of mine. I can just be talking and all the sudden, boom, poetry. I write literally every night because I can never sleep.

I'm really good at arguing with reactionary people and liberals on the internet. Especially YouTube but now also Twitter!
The first things people usually notice about me
People who don't know me too well say that my dry humor and tone is hilarious. Those who do know me well laugh at the idea that I have any chill at all. (I'm laid back and I hate tension but love conflict. I don't do well when people expect a lot from me but at the same time I derive energy and excitement from challenge. I'm also very passionate and emotional but I love relaxation and I'm spontaneous as hell. Basically just your run-of-the-mill free-spirited XXFP) I love dancing even though I'm pretty sure I'm terrible at it.

People assume I'm a very shy, quiet nerd. I am not. I'm actually very sociable, just introverted. If I'm shy around you it probably means I think you're hella and I don't want you to think I'm a total loser.

People also think I'm a gloomy negative nihilist. I'm actually very much a romantic and optimist. I get really passionate about things and I'm pretty sensitive, but, I actually pride myself on that. I was raised and socialized to see emotion as weakness, when in reality I was just surrounded by ableist "libertarian" assholes. I know far too many neurotypical people who default to cruel indifference and call it "intellectualism."
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I fucking love Don't Hug Me I'm Scared

Books: Catcher in the Rye, The Divine Comedy, Sharp Teeth, Lord of the Rings, Redwall Series, The Conquest of Bread, Post-Scarcity Anarchism, What is Communist Anarchism?, Capital in the Twenty-First Century, A Peoples' History of the United States, Culture and Imperialism, The Sickness Unto Death, Being and Nothingness, Speech and Phenomena, Madness and Civilization, Capitalism and Schizophrenia, Gender Trouble, Hegemony and Socialist Strategy, The Democratic Paradox, Nights of Labor, Zhuangzhi, Anarchism and Other Essays, lots of Walter Lowenfels, Albert Camus, and Noam Chomsky
Movies: Lord of the Rings, Watchmen, Titan AE, Scott Pilgrim, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Koyaanisqatsi, Fight Club, Kick-Ass, The Mist, Monty Python, Spirited Away, Colorful, Kaze no Youni, Kumo no Youni, Donnie Darko, The Big Lebowski, Trainspotting, Blues Brothers, Muthu, All the Captain America movies (he's the best), Logan
Shows: Steven Universe, Bar Rescue, Anthony Bourdain, The Simpsons, Walking Dead, Always Sunny, DANNY PHANTOM, Star Trek, Al Jazeera, Free Speech TV, Democracy Now!, Gay USA, Last Week Tonight, Regular Show, Adventure Time, Breaking Bad, The Sopranos, White Collar, New Girl, Better Call Saul, King of the Hill, The Eric Andre Show, Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, Mission Hill, many many anime
http://www.last.fm/user/Endel4/library/artists I also live for Joel Plaskett
Fate/Zero, Lucky Star, D.Gray Man, Blood+, Code Geass R2, FLCL, Darker than BLACK: Ryuusei no Gemini, Hellsing Ultimate, Trinity Blood, Panty & Stocking, Nerima Daikon Brothers, Tokyo Ghoul, Danganronpa
Webcomics: Pictures for Sad Children, Homestuck, Problem Sleuth, Boxer Hockey, And It Don't Stop, 8-Bit Theatre, Penny Arcade
Video Games: OFF, Kingdom Hearts, Civilization, Final Fantasy, StarCraft, Metal Gear Solid, KillZone, WarCraft, WoW, SaGa, The World Ends With You, No More Heroes, SimCity
Podcasts: I fucking LOVE The Orbiting Human Circus (Of The Air). CrimethInc., Democracy at Work, Welcome to Night Vale, Alice Isn't Dead, Politically Reactive, Yo, Is This Racist?, Fake The Nation
Six things I could never do without
Music, Internet, Emotional Honesty, Civilization, my inconsistent sense of identity, Prose Poetry
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Ian Curtis and Victor Jara 4evr

Anything and everything. I'm really thoughtful, but also a little (very) morose. I can find myself getting stuck in the trappings of my memories. (Trauma does that to you) I also find a song to go along with whatever mood I'm in, since I binge-listen to music.

I also LOVE soaking in some quality media, independent or otherwise. I've always been fascinated with emerging trends, and am planning on getting a Communications degree.

Political radicalism has roots in disenfranchised communities, yet is so gated off via education, so I want to be able to one day communicate it properly and in an effective way that can reach all people.

How to make anarchism more democratic, more postcolonial, more individualist, and more green.

Neurotypicals and Reactionaries must be stopped at all costs. I'm really tired of everyone who isn't far left tbqh.

I hate liberal brolosophers, who unfortunately make up the majority of all nerds. Ok I just hate liberals, there I said it.
On a typical Friday night I am
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I think leftism that doesn't discuss, focus on, and deconstructions language (especially hierarchical or dominating ideas, intentional or otherwise) are anachronistic and boring. Language analysis without history and anti capitalism is just snobby academic armchair crap too.

Intersectional anti racist tankies >>>>>>>> white manarchists x100000

If you get me drunk enough I will start playing like Gogol Bordello or Los Cubanos or Incompetentes or Inti Illimani or Quilapayún and yell about politics in Spanish.

I am actually 50% Sea, 50% Weed. I'm also weird as fuck for someone who's ace.

Apparently I'm a massive tease.
You should message me if
you support yr local antifa

you care a lot about social and economic injustice or love tabletop gaming. Or if you know how to cut your own hair, that's pretty radd.

You should DEFINITELY talk to me if your memories have an echo-ish sound to them, or if you like the snow, or the nighttime. Or even better, a snowy night. OR ALSO, if you love soft grunge/pastel goth~

These days my aesthetic is less cute fashionable gay librarian and more boozy English teacher from purgatory though i mix it up. Life is too short to look uninteresting.

You want me to read yr turkish coffee fortune.

Leftists only please.
The two of us