30Nottingham, United Kingdom
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My self-summary
I'm a friendly, perceptive and demanding person. I'm told I come across a little harsh sometimes but I always make a genuine effort to know people and I'm really not that scary. I like working things out about people, watching comedy dancing, debating and having good sex. I'm also married to nifara, which isn't about to change!

I'm currently going through some medical issues which are throwing my self-perceived gender all over the place. I've never considered myself 'female' most of the time but now I'm solidly on the male side with two ton of gender dysphoria. I've gone with transmasculine as a category above because I don't think I can reasonably lay claim to male yet. There also aren't any photos of me because until I've undergone some medical investigation to work out what's up with me I don't want to be misleading. I'm told I rank a day-to-day average of 7/10 in attractiveness, so you're not going to be repulsed by me at least :)

Nifara and I are in an open marriage but currently looking for friends more than dates.

We have a kid, who is two and an absolute sweetie. He takes up a lot of time to be honest, and going out is harder but even more important.
What I’m doing with my life
Working in Higher Education in an administrative capacity which I adore. Hoping someday to manage a team of people and get to make lots of interesting strategic decisions. Reading, looking at Reddit too much, watching TV series, seeing friends, trying to find balance in my head.
I’m really good at
Organising things, making fast and efficient decisions, talking to strangers, worrying, learning, imagining lots of different possibilities, writing very dry administrative documents. I used to be pretty good at expressing myself but now I need to get out of the house more.
The first things people usually notice about me
My huge eyes, my smirk, the fact that I'm probably talking frankly and openly within about ten seconds of meeting. Apparently I 'look intelligent', which is a weird thing to be told.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Inception is my favourite film, with Fightclub and The Shawshank Redemption joint second. I also enjoy V for Vendetta, Scott Pilgrim, and most anything by Christopher Nolan.

My comfort book is Spares by Michael Marshall-Smith, I love Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov and both the Birds and Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier (Hitchcock was an awful awful Director as far as I'm concerned). Reading the Illuminatus Trilogy has been one of the best experiences of my life and I would highly recommend it (for what that's worth). I also enjoy sci-fi, though there's certainly a lot I haven't read yet, I especially like Dune, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and most everything by Iain M. Banks. His books make me feel at home.

For graphic novels, Alan Moore is the absolute master of the genre and I especially love Watchmen.

For TV series I love House of Cards, Black Books, Game of Thrones, Futurama, Catterick, Angel and Rome. I also enjoy anything Addams Family related, including the rubbish TV series, and have a soft spot for any number of the terrible cheesy programmes James Nesbitt has been in (Jekyl, Murphy's Law).

I also love games - Baldur's Gate, classic Doom, Fable II, Farcry 3, Rayman Origins, Uncharted, Batman, Assassins' Creed, COD, the Lego games, Halo, Little Big Planet, Katamari Forever. I wanted to like Killzone Shadowfall.

Music I like: The Smiths, Billie Holiday, Bo Burnham but I'm mainly one of those annoying people who likes two songs by your favourite artist but knows of nothing else they've ever done. Broadly speaking I like folk, classic rock and soul mostly. I like rap but its too distracting and I hate trilly singing (looking at you Leona Lewis) so a lot of current pop is right out. If we're in a shop and someone asks what the song is I can pretty much guarantee I won't know the answer.

I like fruit and veg very much, meat cooked until its almost inedible and delicious non-gluten puddings.
Six things I could never do without

My partner

Research and the scientific method


The feeling, when you debate something fiercely, that you only actually know what you've said when you hear it out loud

The recognition of which bits of my life are the social contract, and the freedom that knowledge gives me
I spend a lot of time thinking about
People, being able to stop time, news, group dynamics, human rights, higher education, conversations, funny internet sites.
On a typical Friday night I am
Chatting to friends on the phone, reading books (fiction and non-fiction), becoming unnecessarily involved on discussion threads, and going out for a drink and a dance.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
When I first watched the Big Lebowski at 17 I didn't like it because I thought that 'people like the Dude' were lazy wasteful layabouts. When worried, my thoughts fitted in a lot of neat little boxes which didn't match up to the rest of the world at all. I am much better at not doing this but, as for a lot of people, it is a constant battle.
You should message me if
You live locally and want to meet up evenings/weekends.

We have a fairly high match rating for ethics.
The two of us