40Brooklyn, United States
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
Note: This profile is on the long side (for those with the attention span of gnats), so if you're not up for reading it, save yourself now (i.e. close the window now; if you message me without reading this, I will know, and I will not respond). Nothing says "lol too long; didn't read" like a "hi, how are you" message.

The following is not my life story, just basic information you can use to determine the likelihood of us vibing. That's important, right? If you wanted to base your decision on pics, you'd be swiping on Tinder or wherever, right? Right; that's what I thought. I'm helpful like that. You're welcome.

I am sort of in an "I'm here, but I'm not here" space when it comes to this profile. I'm not actively seeking romantic partners, but I'm not closed off to them, either. If anything, I'm more interested in connecting with people who are like-minded and/or in similar situations/relationships (polyamorous/ethically non-monogamous individuals and couples) --primarily platonically. Since I'm open to the development of things, it could **potentially** be more than that, but that's not really my "goal" per se. When I'm in the mood, I explore. When I'm not, I don't. If you're cool with not trying to "reverse engineer" things to fit desired outcomes of a romantic nature and like to see how things develop naturally, then please do read on.

I am in an amazingly fulfilling open relationship with the gentleman you see listed on my status. It is awesome, and I am happy. I had no expectations of that happening and still remain "expectation-less" yet open to other things. Meeting some cool-ass people with whom I can talk shit and do things would be about forty types of sweet.

Reader's Digest Version about me: I am an iconoclastic progressive-liberal-heathen-bohemian singer who is sort of a hedonist. ("Yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like to write.") I do not worship a deity, nor do I accept Jesus Christ as my personal savior. Just thought I'd mention that up front in case this was a problem for you. MBTI: ENTJ "A songburst of gaiety and laughter."

A little bit more: I'm one of those people who is equally left and right-brained, so I feel both out of place and like I belong everywhere at the same time. With my music friends, I'm the square who wants structure and order. At work, I'm the "singing lady" with the crazy hairstyles, colors, and ideas.

I live for music. The Nietzsche quote "Without music, life would be a mistake" is my maxim. I simply cannot imagine my life without it. I can find something to love within every genre and have quite the representation in the 8000+ contents of my iPod. I love to be introduced to new things and would love to go see some live music with you cool kids.

I am a singer with a full-time day job --and as a testament to the equal employment of both hemispheres of my brain-- I love the hell out of both. My job and my passion seem totally disparate, but they are a perfect example of my many (seeming) contradictions. I may appear to be an enigma wrapped in a mystery, but I am really quite easy to understand if you are paying attention. For some reason, my straightforwardness confuses people.

Fun is important to me. I love to laugh (for a long time, very hard and loudly --friends love to mimic my laugh), and that includes laughing at myself sometimes. My sense of humor ranges from dry and sarcastic to off-beat and slapstick. (I am a sucker for satire!) I can drop in a joke at pretty much any point during a conversation. I can be silly, witty, serious and warm in equal measure. I love conversing with and getting to know people. I talk rapidly and do this using my hands. I have been referred to as “animated" and "expressive." Even if I am not speaking, all you have to do is look at my face to see what it is I'm not saying.

I say "dude" a lot. Not unlike this guy:

I am a total nerd-geek who loves to learn, reveres grammar, and is into Fantasy and Sci-Fi. I love defying whatever preconceived notion you have of me. I live for learning about people and consider myself an amateur anthropologist. My username is a reference to the fact that --like tofu-- I tend to take on the “flavors” of whatever I’m immersed in, causing people to be confused about my origins. I was born in Brooklyn and have lived my whole life in a 10-mile radius. I've traveled to many places in the world and can't think of anyplace else I'd rather be.

Josephine Baker, Nona Hendryx and Tina Turner are my "patron saints." I can swear like a drunken sailor on leave and dance like an extra on Solid Gold or House Party. I am almost always singing. I am not afraid to sweat. I am a progressive liberal. I'm intolerant of intolerance. I love to travel, learn, read, and think. I like people who make me think. I am who I am, not who people want me to be. I like philanthropic activities and animals.
What I’m doing with my life
Striving to live it fully and without regrets. Being open. Changing lives and making an impact on people. The fabric of your lives.
I’m really good at
Singing. Making people feel at ease. Making people extremely uncomfortable. Making people laugh. Making something out of nothing. Making faces. Cleaning and organizing. Using numbers hyperbolically. Strategizing. Accumulating loads of unfinished knitting projects.
The first things people usually notice about me
Before I cut it, it was my hair; then they'd want to touch it. (You shouldn't do that to people, though.)
My red lips.
My eyes.
My loud-ass laugh.
My tats.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Food: I'm really not that picky, but I live for seafood -- crustaceans in particular. I would fight someone for crab legs and lobster from Red Hook Lobster Pound.
Drinks: I love wine! I tend to lean toward red during cool/cold weather and white in warm/hot weather. Also, hand me a dry vodka martini with 3 olives and we will be fast friends.
Books: I'm all over the place here, a lot like I am with music. I love both fiction and non-fiction. I tend to read a lot more periodicals these days, but that's due to time constraints and the immediacy of needing to know things.
TV: I watch quite a bit of TV on my DVR, mostly sit-coms. Black-ish, New Girl (one of my favorites), Modern Family, Shameless, Pretty Much Everything on HBO, The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, Steven Universe, Chopped, Flight of the Conchords, House of Cards, Orange is the New Black, Master of None, Black Mirror, etc. (Netflix is winning "television" right now.) Guilty pleasure: Investigation Discovery. djm
Six things I could never do without
Writing Instruments
Quality People
My Voice
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How other people's brains work. What goes on in there? Why do you do the things you do?

How liberating it is to not be so consumed with "what may happen" that you talk yourself out of actually finding out.

What I want to pursue next musically.

Gentrification in Brooklyn.

Why cheating is much more palatable to people than open, ethical non-monogamy. I have seriously had conversations with people who were confused by the concept, all while conceding that most socially monogamous relationships are not *actually* monogamous in practice -- and participating in such relationships.

What a shit-show 2016 was, yet seeing as an opportunity for us to get off our asses and do better/more/something.

Why women who allegedly have no interest in non-monogamy/polyamory visit my profile after visiting my partner's. (Well, this is more of a curiosity than anything.)

Steven Yeun.
On a typical Friday night I am
I kinda hate the whole Friday night scene in NYC, so unless there's something exceptional happening, I'm most likely taking it easy. There are many other nights I'd rather be out and about. Plus, if you're from here or have lived here long enough, you know that Thursday is "New Yorker Friday."
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Though I never watch it otherwise, my in-flight entertainment of choice is Bravo.

I am inexplicably and inordinately attracted to bald men. And I don't mean shaved heads; I mean bald due to genetics (though a shaved head will also do the trick). I love hair, but for some reason, the bald thing is ultra hot to me.

I had "casual sex" checked for a few hours as an experiment and unchecked it, posthaste. Not because of disinterest*, but because of the shift in messages I received. :-|
*my interest here leans more toward my "heteroflexible" side

"Team America: World Police" is tied for my favorite movie.

I secretly judge people I see reading the New York Post on the Subway.

I once talked a co-worker into using lightsabers as pointers for a work presentation.

I think people who are all "If I tell you, it wouldn't be private!" are unimaginative cornballs. But really, some of you are being way too literal when it comes to this section. All of these things are "private," but not my deepest, darkest secrets by any stretch. Have some fun, y'all!
You should message me if
You like what you read more than what you saw. You are open to anything happening, or nothing at all (read: you are okay with leaving your expectations at the door). Your face is visible in your profile pictures, or you provide pictures without prompting (I get privacy concerns; I don't get why you'd think someone would respond to your eyeball/chest/*insert random body part here*). You like humans, music, culture and FUN. You've taken note of my relationship status and it is not a deterrent.

We have a 75% match percentage or above. It's not a guarantee of a connection, but the chances are higher.

You have a basic understanding of how deductive reasoning works and are actively using it when reviewing my profile. For example: Even though we have a high match percentage, you explicitly say that you do not like women who swear or drink. I say I like to swear and drink. Therefore, you're not gonna like me.

You have more to say than "hi" or some non-engaging variant thereof. I'm not one for a list of "dos and don'ts" here, and hate to read profiles in which people express the ways you need to jump through hoops to get their attention, but there is a lot to be said for knowing how to start a conversation, particularly online. (I'm not gonna call it science, but I have noticed those types of messages come from people who are a 65% match or below.)

You're not confused by how someone could date black women and have black friends and STILL be racist. (Pro tip: Do not mention my skin color in relation to yours. Also, Google the term "racial exoticization.") You also don't think being sexually open and sexually indiscriminate are the same thing.

Race is a non-issue for me (my first crushes were Bruce Lee, Taimak and Christopher Reeve), but if you are a social or religious conservative...that might not bode well for us. Just sayin'.
The two of us