I have a chapbook of my satirical writing entitled I AM GABE'S IMPOTENT MORAL OUTRAGE. Available upon request.
I once organized a protest against Wal-Mart, but not for the reasons you'd think.
I am painfully unmaterialistic.
I hate the term secular humanism because it implies that there are major or important branches of secular people who are not humanist.
The unexpected hanging paradox might be my favorite thing in the world.
Nothing scares me more than the second law of thermodynamics.
I am a high school algebra teacher, biding my time until I can move to my sustainable farm in South Carolina. Not because I think an apocalypse is coming or anything, but just so I can stop working and play games all day.
I am in an open relationship with a wonderful woman.
I really enjoy feeding ducks.
2) get a master's degree in philosophy from Georgia State University (CHECK!)
3) apply to every open philosophy professor position in the country (CHECK!)
4) realize every philosophy professor position in the country is already taken, become an autonomous from-home investor in either penny stocks or Magic cards instead. (CHECK!)
5) turn 35, run for president, and through the power of the internet, win and SAVE THE WORLD!
Alternate 5 Become a high school math teacher. (CHECK!)
6) Build an earthship off the grid somewhere on the east coast and live off of chickens, goats, and whatever comes out of the greenhouse. (IN PROGRESS)
That my hair is (usually) long and curly and that people strolling by ask me if they can touch it.
I've also been getting into non-fiction lately, things like The Big Short, Guns Germs and Steel, and Debt: The First 5000 Years.
Movies Network, Synecdoche New York, The Machinist, Fight Club, The Prestige, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Harrison Bergeron, Dr. Strangelove, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, Liar Liar, Clerks, Hero, Snatch, Thank You For Smoking, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Tropic Thunder, The Avengers
Music: Blind Guardian, Opeth, Pink Floyd, Genesis (up to 1976), Jethro Tull, Queen, The Dresden Dolls, Aesop Rock, Busdriver, Marilyn Manson, Iced Earth, Metallica, Dream Theater, Nine Inch Nails, Tool, Theocracy, System of a Down, Leaves Eyes, Smashing Pumpkins, Saul Williams, The Tangent, A Perfect Circle, Therion, Liquid Tension Experiment, Tom Waits, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, various other post-rock bands that I can't actually tell apart but love anyway.
I can't fucking stand dubstep. I truly do not understand the enjoyment. It sounds like someone took a perfectly good song and gave it a seizure.
Food: I love yogurt mixed with fruit and granola and eat it every day.
Television (ongoing shows): Game of Thrones, Dexter, Doctor Who, Breaking Bad, Community, 30 Rock, South Park, How I Met Your Mother, Archer, everything Joss Whedon has ever done
Video games: Final Fantasies IV, VI, VII, IX, XII, and Tactics, Chrono Trigger, Earthbound, Dark Cloud II, Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Super Mario RPG, Ogre Battle, Sacrifice
Board games: Terra Mystica, Agricola, Lords of Waterdeep
memory and the passage of time and my obsession with them both
I've used Glide pro health floss, and now I can't go back to those flossing sticks.
Also, if you're turned on by Irish accents. Inquire within for details.
P.S., gay guys, I am not interested myself, but you should message my best friend Outworld_Outcast