37Van Nuys, United States
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My self-summary
**DISCLAIMER: I hate writing these things. I always feel like a mix of Ira Glass on "This American Life" and a used car salesman. Hey, describe yourself, and make it snappy! I also feel the same anxiety when writing resumes.**

I can be wildly offensive, or insightful and compassionate... often at the same time. Life is just too serious to be taken seriously.

I'm also one of those creatives. I been writing and telling jokes since I was a kid, but I've gotten into music over the better part of the last decade, and it's the most addictive thing I can imagine. I'm teaching myself to play punk songs on a banjo.

Family is important to me. My mom and my brother are two of my best friends. Don't make it weird. ;)

While on the subject of weird family, I've been divorced since 2006. No kids though, so there's that.

In the end, this is a lot of gobbledygook cobbled together to try and entice you to want to get to know me, but there's more to me than what I can fit on a website. I'm funny and smart and I've seen some shit. Despite it all... I think I turned out okay.
What I’m doing with my life
I play harmonica and sing in blues and rock bands, write screenplays, occasionally do stand up and sketch comedy. I'm kind of a combination of Jake and Elwood Blues, possibly their love child with Twiggy.

I hate day jobs, but I am pretty happy with my mild mannered alter ego right now. I'm working in video games again, and though the hours are long I love it!
I’m really good at
Being quick with a comeback, giving compliments, puzzles and problems, lifting heavy items, memorable turns of phrase, finding parking spots at shopping centers during holiday season.
The first things people usually notice about me
My laugh, wild and unchained. My clothes, in that I'm oft told I look like one of the Blues Brothers. My masculine, well groomed beard.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I could go on, but...

Books: The Godfather, Hard Boiled Wonderland and The End Of The World, The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, The Old Man and the Sea, Watchmen, Good Omens, anything by Bukowski, especially Tales Of Ordinary Madness, Umbrella Academy, The Dark Knight Returns, Hellboy, AvX

Movies: The Usual Suspects, Chinatown, The Iron Giant, Some Like It Hot, The Sting, The Avengers, Stripes, The Blues Brothers, History of the World Part I, Argo, The Professional, Goodfellas, Shaun of the Dead, The Incredibles, The Lord of the Rings, Animal House, Kung Fu Panda, Seven Samurai

TV: Archer (I think I'm Kreiger), Cowboy Bebop, The Wire, Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, Dead Like Me, Luther, Dr. Who, Harvey Birdman, Supernatural, Sherlock, The Walking Dead, The Newsroom, Dexter, Robot Chicken, Breaking Bad

Music: Tom Waits, Aerosmith, The Clash, John Lee Hooker, The Blues Brothers, The Dirtbombs, The Black Keys, The Rolling Stones, Led Zep, Death From Above 1979, Flaming Lips, Bo Diddley, Run DMC, Mos Def, Jurassic 5, Leonard Cohen, Beck, The Killers, Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, Beatles, David Bowie, Jack White, James Brown, Gangstar, Silversun Pickups, The Hives, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Pink Floyd, The Fugees, Pearl Jam, Screamin' Jay Hawkins, Howlin' Wolf

Food: Lasagna, sushi, steak, chili fries, Pastrami from The Hat... I cook, too!
Six things I could never do without
Over the last few years I learned that I can live without quite a bit, so instead, here are six things on my person everyday:

Corrective lenses
A lighter (for opening beer bottles)
A notebook
A handkerchief
A phone
A Kennedy half dollar (for the big decisions)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Oh boy, what don't I spend a lot of time thinking about? I suppose I spend a lot of time thinking up stories. I write music and movies and jokes, so I spend a lot of time thinking about words.
On a typical Friday night I am
There isn't a typical Friday. I could be out with friends, playing a gig somewhere, on a date, or sitting on my couch with my chihuahua, Blondie, watching Bill Maher, reading comics, fixing harmonicas. Also, fighting crime.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm self conscious about the scars on my belly from appendix surgery.
You should message me if
You have gotten to the end of this here profile and find me charming and/or cute. Any complaints may be submitted to Brian Williams, C/O NBC, Rockefeller Center, New York, NY.
The two of us