ExEasterner
32 Seattle, United States
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ExEasterner
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My self-summary
Seeking a friend for the end of the world.
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I was born in Heidelberg and grew up in New Jersey, making me a dual citizen and a decisive driver.

My german bloodline
sports a family crest and the motto "Comes Vertitus Invidia". This can be loosely translated as "haters gonna hate". Wisdom for the ages.

I enjoy shenanigans. If you accidentally send me an email intended for someone else, I will pretend to be the intended recipient and try make that person seem as crazy as possible.

When booking a hotel room, I came across the "special instructions" section and wrote: "Treat me like an international man of mystery". The staff thought it was funny and upgraded my room.

I'm good to people and easy to be with. I'm kind without being a pushover and honest without being an asshole about it.
What I’m doing with my life
Silly-looking rehab exercises (I'm beginning to wonder if my physical therapist is just fucking with me).

When not rehabbing: Climbing, capoeira, circus arts, and most recently crossfit. I swear I'm willing to try something that doesn't start with the letter "c" it's just not worked out that way lately...

I work for an easily guessable tech company on crowdsourced delivery. My job involves large data sets and intense judgment calls, which can be fascinating and nerve wracking in equal measure.

Prior to grad school, I was a nonprofiteer for several years, and then went and worked for a year as a teacher in Pakistan. It was glorious and grueling and left me with an intensified love of bacon and some nice tailored suits.

I also learned that if you're idly snacking on a bag of chips, you're much more likely to get through police/military checkpoints without being questioned.
I’m really good at
Catching lost goats
Singing paul simon
Comforting friends/editing their cover letters
Jumping over/climbing up things
Talking to the mentally ill (King County Crisis Line)
Cooking brussel sprouts
Excel formulas
Composing letters to people I care about
Quadrupedal movement
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
A laundry list of bands doesn’t seem like it’d communicate much about me. My favorites songs are always wrapped up in memories, so I’ll give you some of those:

-New Slang by the Shins was searching for breakfast, newly alone on a bright blue Munich morning.
-Green Eyes by Coldplay was not knowing how to comfort a lover in Bologna.
-Machinehead was that god awful band I was flattered into joining for about 3 weeks.
-The District Sleeps Alone Tonight was leaving Montana with a lump in my throat
-Vampire Weekend soothed my pedagogical panic in Pakistan (and drowned out the adultery next door).
-Jamie Liddel got everyone grinding on a party bus ride through the blistering Michigan night.

...and on life goes! (Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da)

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Food: I can't eat wheat or dairy, which makes things a bit complicated for me. But it also means that I generally have a very healthy diet, can cook rather well, and am pretty much guaranteed never to be overweight. I do really miss wheat beer
The six things I could never do without
Long underwear (just during the winter--I'm not a nevernude)
Gymnastic Rings
Coffee
Folks
Affection

A vast, deeply problematic international supply chain that feeds, clothes, and provisions me and everyone I love.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What's the meaning of Stonehenge???

The best way to scale barb wire fences.

how to be a good bayesian

the health of Ruth Bader Ginsberg, and her colleagues

Outlandish entrepreneurial schemes involving genetically modified pets.
On a typical Friday night I am
This varies, but if you are down for camping or Soul Night at Lo Fi we will probably have good times together.
You should message me if
You enjoy real talk and infectious giggling in equal measure, you know how to pick locks, and/or you have some good gossip you can't tell anyone else.

Edit: My female friends tell me I should be more specific about what I'm looking for. Which is difficult, because so much of what matters to me in a connection is simpatico, alchemy, je ne sais quoi--nothing that can be factored down to attributes.

Still, I have noticed that I fall for compassionate women who like banter.

2nd Edit: If you're currently living in the Philippines, can you please message me and tell my why I regularly get visitors/likes from ladies in Cebu City and other Filipino locales? It's quite mystifying to me.
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