29Grants Pass, United States
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My self-summary
Hi, stranger!

This is the most important thing I have ever seen.

I am a manic pixie fat kid, joyful cynic. Insomniac autodidact and charmer of cats. Were Kirby a gender, I would be that. Filled with love floating atop a thin layer of self-loathing. Mostly love. S'beautiful.

I just ate a Carolina Reaper. It was an experience.

It's difficult for me to say, "Oh you like (A)? Then you would also appreciate (B) as they have (shared characteristic) in common." Instead, I will gush, "You like (A)! Awesome! Here's something else that's awesome! Fuck yeah! Awesome things! Let's hold each other!"

This song is so bad that I can't help but love it.

Cuddling is a greater need for me than food. This is always true.

"'cause everyone made him a boy, and God didn't think to ask his preference."
What I’m doing with my life
Making music and narrowly avoiding homelessness! Check this shit out! I wrote it while trying not to consume myself in worry! Also, this is what I think about the entire time I'm working on every song I make.

More importantly, I am searching for someone to sever my head and display it above the gates to their fortress. This is my mission.

Here is a short film my brother and I made during a break from recording. It tells a powerful story, and I fully endorse it.

My only true goal in life is to be hugged by Reggie Watts.
I’m really good at
Cuddling. Man, woman, none of the above, I don't care. Motherfucker, I will cuddle the shit out of you! I'm a goddamn teddy bear!

Recognizing comedians. Learning from transgression. Listening. High-speed whisking. Noticing obscure patterns in words.
The first things people usually notice about me
Oh, I do hope it's my eyes. I am quite fond of them. I take them everywhere I go, and display them prominently at every opportunity.

Grotesque sincerity.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

A selection of valued books:
Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency
The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul
The Hedgehog, the Fox, and the Magister's Pox
American Gods
Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell
The Areas of My Expertise

Ooh... favorite movie would have to be Brazil, followed by Duck Soup, Dr. Strangelove, Harold and Maude, and Super. Anything involving Terry Gilliam, the Coen Brothers, or the Marx Bros. delights me. (De. Light. Delight. Just doesn't make sense to me, now.) I am also very much fascinated and deeply troubled by any film Park Chan-Wook directs. I've only seen it once, but I enjoyed Mean Girls so much I feel the need to mention it. Also, the Evil Dead movies. I once met Bruce Campbell, and let me tell ya... he is shorter than I expected.

Favorite shows would be MST3K, Futurama, Peep Show, Blackadder, Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. Sometimes I feel like Rick and Morty was made for me.

Music covers far too much. Recent listening has included:
Diablo Swing Orchestra
Aesop Rock
Devin Townsend Project
DJ Shadow (Specifically that track w/ RTJ)
Captain Beefheart
Faun Fables
Charming Hostess
Jaga Jazzist
I also have a special place in my heart for video game soundtracks.

Favorite objects to ingest are usually fruity, spicy, sour, cheesy, or potatoes. I love to cook and am particularly fond of putting wildly unnecessary effort into elaborate burgers.
Six things I could never do without
Most of my fingers (let's be honest, no one needs both pinkies that isn't a pianist, and even they could learn to deal with it)

That is all.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Would the Erotic Bakery be able to make a boob cake with dicks for nipples? And not erect. If not, could I? Either way, if you have a pair of testicles under each of your dicknipples, which testicle is lowest?

I don't spend a lot of time thinking about this, but I DO think that the movie 300 not only has the ability to have opinions on sex, but it also hates everything about sex.


Why can't a woman have a beard?

One can never truly have a milk moustache as long as one has an actual moustache... The sacrifices we make for vanity!

Why there isn't a power metal band called Masturbating the Dragon.

Eyes. Textures.

The warmth of blasphemy.

I constantly think about words. Their function, their construction. The rhythm of speech and how I would sound if I hadn't lost my accent. Video game development. Art. Apathy, and how I want to destroy it.

Also, bowler hats. It is an unhealthy fixation. I recently gave one away, though, so it seems much less unhealthy.


If you are wondering why I value expression over knowledge (you weren't; I never mentioned it), I can offer some explanation. I grew up in extreme poverty and have been homeless much of my adult life. I am a child and I have just begun to speak.
On a typical Friday night I am
Churning out game music. Ask me about my oddly developed forearms!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am queen of the over-share! Nothing in my life is sacred!

For example, when I am anxious, I will lightly run my fingertips along my forearm, fingernails barely grazing the skin. It is highly arousing!
You should message me if think I look cute in a dress.

Or if you would like to engage in disjointed, somewhat-informed, entirely over-thought banter. Especially message me if you enjoy being cuddled like they were on molly by bearded weirdos whilst having deeply introspective conversations about things that probably don't matter to most.

If this makes you happy in your heart-place.

Relevant to our interaction: If I've sent you a message, it is most likely just a thought that has occurred while reading your profile, and possibly a further bit of absurd rambling because sometimes I amuse myself. While I would like a conversation to stem from wherever it may, I am rarely attempting to start one. I do try to tell people who seem particularly likeable that they are, BECAUSE THERE IS NO REASON NOT TO ENCOURAGE THAT WHICH IS GRAND. That said, feel free to message me back.

Feel free to ignore everything I've said.

Feel free, because you are.
The two of us