I'm up all night in the kitchen trying to catch the garden gnomes having a conversation.
(Are you still reading? Cool. I was just trying to weed out the uh, incompatibles. Guess you must be okay then, huh. How cool do you feel right now.)
Kind of like Batman, but with a lot more paperwork.
Meanwhile, I have four current goals:
1. Join a band
2. Learn sign language
3. Buy some bongos
4. Hitch-hike from the east coast of America to the west
My goals rule.
Also just taken up Thai Kickboxing. Just because of how bad-ass that sounds. To be honest, considering how much I suck at it, I probably should have taken up Thai Cooking instead. Or Thai Beatboxing.
[Hold on, wait, that's not sexy; let's say - my eyes]
I'm a movie snob who will tell you your favourite movie with explosions in it is crap and then make you watch some 3 hour Russian thing with subtitles until you fall asleep.
Musically... well I was into Chopin before he was cool, man. BEFORE he was cool. Think about that.
Last book I read was 'Fifty Shades of Grey'. I know. I'm ashamed. I disliked it, mind you. I couldn't relate to any the characters. That should tell you more about me than anything else I write here.
My favourite writer of all time is actually William Burroughs.
That, or getting drunk and getting processed at the station as a criminal.
If you've read the whole profile, congratulations! You deserve a reward. Here's the real personal stuff, just for you. First secret insight: I'm actually a quiet person, far too sensitive for my own good and all polysyllabic up the wazoo. [At the same time, I have friends and I like to go out and party. I know. It's ridiculous. But introversion is the predominant feature.]
I'm here because I'd like to make a connection for once on a deep mental level, rather than grope someone drunkenly in a bathroom who turns out to be dumb as all buggery.
So. If you feel like you're a little bit different in some indefinable way (like maybe people don't get you sometimes, because you bring up Dostoevsky in conversation and they say 'huh?' - or you purposefully don't bring up Dostoevsky in conversations, because hey, wanky - but you know who he is)... and you're not a Robbie Williams fan either, we may have something to talk about.
Otherwise, yay All Blacks, beer, tits etc.