30 Spokane, United States
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My self-summary
FATTER NOW. Don't text if that's not okay.

I'm just coming out of a long relationship and I just want to know what's out there. Honesty is key with me, so I'll go first. I can be obsessive, loving, cold, dark and amused all at once. I laugh at everything, which isn't always turn making it WAY more funny. I'm trying to cut back on video games, but I read a lot more comics than I used to, not really a good shift. I hate people, and think they're a disease, but also my favorite subject. I swear, drink, I roll over your neighbor's dog. I'm not looking for anything serious right now (though I refuse to rule it out), just someone to show me a good time, it's been way too long. Even a friend would be great. If tattoos or animals bother you, maybe you should look elsewhere. :)

I am a marauder, a swashbuckler, and a sky bandit.
What I’m doing with my life
In being totally honest..I'm just working on getting better. I had an incident when I was 17 and now I'm fucked up 6 ways to Sunday. I'm in physical therapy, and it seems like it's working..but if you want me to..climb a mountain, or take a long hike, or drive your drunk ass're in the wrong place. I have constant vertigo..and am still trying to subdue the same headache I've had since South Park was still funny. No, it's not contagious. Yes, sometimes I'd rather stay home and watch movies. Yes, ask all the questions you want. Yes, on a very rare occasion, you might have to bring me home early. I've managed to learn to deal with it, I'd love it if you could too.

Aside from that, I'm finishing my degree and working at a teen crisis hotline.
I’m really good at
Stopping conversations dead in their tracks, making origami swans, being completely messy, pretending to be a space cadet, losing all interest, commas and sleeping. You know, pretty much everything that's important.
The first things people usually notice about me
My size, I'm very short,so I spend a lot of time staring up peoples noses..and getting thrown around..or my eyes, they started out huge, luckily my head grew in around them..
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
American Gods, The Other Boleyn Girl, Slaughterhouse Five. Old horror/gorefest flicks. Most music..and pretty much all food..especially cake, my god I love cake.
The six things I could never do without
Bad Puns
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why people insist on fucking up their kids and letting them loose on the world..only to specifically ruin my day later in life. Also, pigs and pig related clothing.
On a typical Friday night I am
Wondering what you're doing.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
One time, I fell through the arm of a plastic chair trying to scope out my aunt's medicine cabinet and smacked the ever-loving out of my lady bits.
You should message me if
You know it's "For the lose" and not "For the loss."
Etiquette is high on your list.
You believe spelling and grammar are next to godliness, and hygiene is a close second.
You took the time to realize there's a good chance I meant to say third instead.
You'll never complain about how far the drive is to come see me.
You think Fear and Loathing was..alright..and not the best movie ever.
You think it's hilarious that my mom's going to read this eventually and tease me non-stop about "that one time I broke my doodle."
You're SO over the entire green movement. Fucking trees.
You think that rarely and never are basically the same thing, and you know what I mean by that.
You think the only thing scarier than zombie apocalypse is sexually transmitted stupidity.
You've seen it yet.

You're respectful, courteous, knowledgeable, understand that "dranken" isn't a word and you're willing to let me pop your zits.