29 Santa Clara, United States
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My self-summary
Brand Differentiation - A Poem

Men post photographs, half-naked
And demand you get to know 'em
Market's over saturated
To stand out, I wrote this poem

Greetings, lady, I'm Fantasticks
I just want to hear you laugh
If you like this part you must ex-
amine my profile in depth

Hey there, I'm Jacob
What I’m doing with my life
Finding myself in the South Bay for at least the next few months, all by my lonesome self.

Former jobs: tennis coach, tank gunner, lasers researcher, reptile catcher, hedge fund trader, espionage analyst and toilet paper marketer. Only two of the above seven are made up.

Current job: financial software, i.e. getting paid like a software start-up but having to dress like a banker.

What I really do: Applying math to the optimization of life and OkCupid.
I’m really good at
Opening tough jars, which is really all you need from a man. You independent woman, you.

I have a mapped route of trees that are fun to climb in every city I lived in.
The first things people usually notice about me
My goofy accent, the source of which they cannot place.

Also, if it's winter they notice that I'm wearing shorts. My legs are incapable of feeling cold. I guess I wear shorts in the summer too, but it doesn't stand out.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
You mean my favorite blogs, podcasts and teas?

Alright, alright, I do read a ton of books and I'm unfuckable unless I prove it. Here are some of my favorites from the last year:

* The Girl with All the Gifts (Carey)
* Thinking Fast and Slow (Kahneman)
* Open (Agassi)
* Nexus (Naam)
* What if? (Munroe)
* Saga (Vaughan)
* Consciousness Explained (Dennett)
* The Mark and the Void (Murray)
* Dataclysm (the dude who runs this site)
* HPMoR (Yudkowsky). Ironically, I gave up on Rowling's version after 100 pages.
The six things I could never do without
* Competitive sports
* At least one new country a year (2016 - Mexico, Iceland)
* Bayesian epistemology
* Carolina basketball
* Philosophical conversations in impolite company
* Spotify Premium
* Breaking arbitrary rules regarding the number of items I must list
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Is the only reasonable explanation for the lack of visible extraterrestrial life that we live in a simulation?
On a typical Friday night I am
Play soccer after work and crash early after a week of undersleeping. Fuck Fridays, there's no party like a Tuesday afternoon party.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I met a girl from OKCupid for a lunch date, she fell in love with the guy she had a dinner date with the same day. We never kissed, but we became buddies. We've traveled to a few countries together, hang out and gossip about her boyfriend. This is the best outcome from OkCupid as far as I'm concerned.
You should message me if
You've noticed the part on top where it says I'm in an open relationship and you're cool with that. I can't be your boyfriend for most classical definitions of "boyfriend", and I also don't care much for classical definitions.

Here's what I'm looking for in a great relationship:

1. I need to admire you, so I hope you are ambitious, intellectual and a bad-ass.
2. We should be best friends, so I hope you are honest, optimistic and kind to others.
3. I look for passion, so I hope you are unreserved, confident and slutty.

If you hit at least 5/9 of the above, I can work with that. If you have no idea what to write me: what's the last thing life taught you? Alternatively, if you just hit "like" I will still probably check out your profile and write you something myself.