I'm Feygon (in Civ & on Fetlife too), and I'm polyamorous genderqueer. My pronouns are they/them/their, or for capable folks, fey/fem/fer.
I value self-awareness in myself and others. Queer people are delightfully self-aware, or at least more likely to be so. I really dislike performative-gendered interactions. I'm currently solo, and broke up with an anchor partner last year.
Community is important to me. I'm a newcomer to Nomenus and Wolf Creek Sanctuary! ILY Queers!
I've recently been able to articulate this:
I don't have traditional feelings about romance. I've come to appreciate using the word 'amorous' to describe feelings of desire, love, commitment, etc., instead of 'romantic'. I like freeform interactions with expectations being formed as we get to know one another. Scripts are... distressing.
I want to go on these dates without these assumptions, so that we are free to have intimacy and sex during our dates if we feel like it, with our thoughts Present. I want to share physical intimacy without expectations of Romantical Progression -- I want to share kisses for the purpose of enjoying sharing kisses. I don't want kisses as a stepping stone to more intense physical contact. Same goes for cuddles.
I want to flirt without fear, and be present. I want to feel free to negotiate things when they occur. I like emotionally available people. I'm socially anxious, and learning how to feel more availably. I don't like codependency.
Trust is a turn-on, skill at personal boundaries doubly so. I like to form relationships and friendships with people who are interested in intentional communication.
Talking about talking is important to me. I'm interested in feminism, negotiation, boundaries, occupying and sharing space, calling out, agency, solidarity. I feel accountable to work on my shit. I like people who know and love their boundaries, who know the shape of their being. This is precious to me. I often find myself holding back out of anxiety. I fear doing harm. It's really helpful if my potential partners can be clear. I like that.
Paradoxically, simplifying and quieting my mind is a priority in my life.
I like kissing. I like to bite, scratch, mark, breath play, etc. Power dynamics are fun, but not necessary. I switch. I like topping age & puppy play, and service subbing in other spaces. I'm Feygon on Fetlife.
My style of dating is on the easy going, homey side--movies, cooking, board games, tea, walks through town to familiar quiet places holding hands, and good sex of all kinds. I don't plan much, unless it's needed for scheduling; I prefer to just be present and have fun. I like when candles and/or music and/or food are involved, whatever we do. Also, I could cuddle the shit out of a You.
I've practiced poly for 11 years. I'm pretty experienced at it, but also going through a solo transition at the moment, going back to school, and re-assessing my priorities.
I've moved across town to Gresham, to my new place w/ a roommate. I'm working on making my space special and immaculate. I recently learned that a clean space brings a quiet mind. I need that.
I want to see my friends more, to spend time with them just to share time and space and have good times.
Also I'm spending some time on my shit. I have that stamp of existential need to understand what's wrong with the world and me and how I fit into it. I'm doing pretty okay at the moment, working on motivation and depression. Insomnia is my nemesis -- overwhelm and anxiety too.
My long scottish highlander hair.
My shaven legs?
Books: The Death Gate Cycle, stuff I write, Michael Shurtleff, Douglas Adams, Les Feinberg, Orson Scott Card, Robert A Heinlein, Robert Johnson, Michel Foucault
Movies: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Amelie, Darjeeling Limited, Garden State, Serenity, The Shape of Things, Company, Miyazaki, Everything is Illuminated, a billionty others -- there's just about no movie I hate, and I really enjoy watching train-wrecks, especially if the characters speak their subtext. Hah! I even watched Conagher not long ago because I love the cowboy in The Big Lebowski.
Rasputina, Stephen Sondheim, Bjork, Standup comedy tracks, Veruca Salt. Wow, 3 girl-bands and a musicals writer. Oh, and Tom Waits -- creamy, delectable Tom Waits. And Elvis Costello. There. Sealed.
photogenic food, Sushi (mushroom bomb!), Home-cooked meals with lovingly provided ingredients, FoodCartTopia!, and Free stuff (Youtube: The Skinning Song)
My cat, Coyote.
Tooth-brushing, even though it's scary as fuck.
Someone to talk to intimately
Enablers of getting out of the house: Washer/Dryer, Car (currently doing without these... whyismylifesohaaaaaard)
...how imagination creates the universe, which in turn creates individuality through the focusing lens of time. (Having learned a lot about privilege in the last few years, this seems doubly true in some ways, and problematic or Woo Woo in others.
Some nights, it happens. Also, Karaoke.
Also, embracing or conquering agoraphobia?
My poops are often quite inconsistent. I usually poop once or twice a day, and depending upon what I've eaten lately, they are either dense dark brown poops, soft burnt red poops, or icky squirts. I have a mild sensitivity to gluten, which means if I have normal pizza or burgers, I get to hear about it from my poops later. In some cases, this is worth it -- some days, I prioritize my mouth-hole.
I used to eat a lot of breakfast cereals, usually Cheerios or Raisin Bran. I was into whole grain bread and peanut butter & jam sandwiches. But I'm getting older now, and my poops have become more important to me. So now my breakfast and lunch choices require more work. I find myself eating a lot of eggs -- I've become quite good at frying an egg over-medium.
I've also learned that Meatloaf gets a bad rap. My poops are usually pretty average after enjoying meatloaf. I use rice instead of bread crumbs, to hold it together. Sometimes I make a 2-layer meatloaf cake with a lattice of bacon between, like a bacon-filled meat-cake. Once upon a time, I frosted this with bacon mashed potatoes. For one thanksgiving, we made a 3-layer turkey & bacon meatloaf cake, filled with hamsteaks and cranberry sauce, frosted with bacon mashed potatoes. That day I pooped well. And Lo, the poops I pooped upon that day were poops for the ages.
Unrelated -- Also, I wrote this:
My sacred coffee girl—
Our wild struggle is sinful.
I lick your cup of lush
Rainfall and earth secret,
Discover old wisdom,
In the scent of deep moist
Rich brown places of spring,
Plucked from the bush when red.
Heat thrives between my lips.
...you are emotionally available.
...you've ever been home to Wolf Creek Sanctuary!
...you LARP or DM or play tabletop rpgs, or you're into being in an amorous relationship or intimate friendship with someone who does, or are simply curious about me.
...you understand how someone can be both extroverted and socially anxious.
...you like sexy conversations involving quantum physics.