FinnishRoyalty
37 Chicago, United States
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FinnishRoyalty
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My self-summary
Grew up in suburban Michigan, moved to Los Angeles, hiked and beached, screwed up and failed and didn't learn a thing. Moved to New York, made movies and TV and starved in the center of it all, gambled, lost, screwed up, failed, DID learn some things, and left. And now here I am 18 months later, marching onward, still learning and seeing what zigs and zags and do-overs the future might hold. So far, so good!

TL;DR, that guy who's seen some sh*t and lived to tell and makes you laugh AND think AND roll your eyes, except with better hair.
What I’m doing with my life
Taking time for my spirit per Oprah's instructions.
Producing videos that help companies help consumers (vile word, that) buy stuff they don't need.
Volunteering with the Trevor Project to off-set the above.
Writing and editing and working on being better at both, figuratively and literally.

TL;DR binge-watching "The OC."
I’m really good at
Wisecracks and wordsmithery.
Arguing about politics and movie/TV creative choices.
Feministing.
Armchair psychology.
Cooking vegetables (what I can do with a brussels sprout is pure poetry).
Making breakfast.
That "wheel" pose in yoga.
Reciting movie monologues (Ordinarily, when you make glue...).
Making you laugh in bed.
Telling people about theyselves.
Charming your mother.
The first things people usually notice about me
Hair. Eyes. Stains on my shirt.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books:
Avid reader, but not much of a book reader anymore (damn you, internet). I'm more of an articles guy (The Atlantic, Vox, Mother Jones, your GQs and Esquires &c.). But top of my head: Chabon, Zadie Smith and Michael Cunningham. Oh, and Victoria Beckham's autobiography.

Movies:
Soderbergh, PT Anderson, Almodovar, Scorsese, old Woody Allen, Coen Bros., Holofcener, Tarantino, Fincher, David Wain. 70s movies & Romy & Michele & Taxi Driver & Magnolia & Traffic & Kissing Jessica Stein & Lovely & Amazing & Mean Girls & Raising Arizona & Bridget Jones's Diary & basically anything independent, foreign, pretentious or stupid.

Shows:
Transparent, The Walking Dead, Orange is the New Black, Difficult People, Last Man on Earth, Getting On, Veep. All-time favorites: Six Feet Under, The Comeback & 30 Rock.

Music:
I've never heard of anything you listen to and everything I listen to is garbage. If it was made after 2005, assume I'm your grandfather and have no idea what you're talking about.
Madonna
Beck
Sia
Pop, in general
90s grunge
Early 2000s indie rock
Old-school hip-hop.
This Arianna Grande girl is going places and that Demi Lovato that was on the SNL a few weeks ago sure has some pipes now turn off that goddamn CHVRCHES and bring me my walker.

Food:
Not seafood and not offal and not overly spicy. Please include a vegetable and add cheese where possible. Thanks.

TL;DR: PLEASE shut up about "Game of Thrones."
The six things I could never do without
1. Friendships
2. Psychotherapy (Mental hygiene: as important as genital hygiene, except moreso.)
3. Storytelling, whether written, filmed or performed
4. Paper and pen
5. Vegetables
6. My personal relationship w/Jesus Christ LOLOLOL JK I just couldn't think of a 6th thing
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The past and what can be learned from it.
Point Dume Beach in Malibu.
Why the leaked non-album tracks from each Madonna record are always so much better than the album ones.
How much easier it'd be to get laid nowadays if I had body hair and could grow a beard **line face emoji**
How I'm absolutely not going to sleep with you on the first date.
What Kristen Stewart's problem is.
On a typical Friday night I am
Um, going to the gym and the grocery store and then making fun of the television with my roommate.
But occasionally going to dinner or a movie with friends or inviting them over to drink and make fun of the television with my roommate. I'm a man of simple pleasures. And not much interested in nightlife. So there.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
It's average (LOL SIZE QUEENS) and retracts entirely into my body in the presence of performative masculinity. You can talk about how much of a straight-acting masc total top you are all you want, but you bone dudes, brah. The jig is up.

That's about as private as I'm prepared to get on here. I mean who even are you? You don't know my life.
You should message me if
You like yourself and think it'd be cool to share that with someone else and you're not terrible and like other people who are not terrible.
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