I’m also the real life kung fu panda. I’ve traveled to lonely mountain tops and embraced monastic life in my quest to master the ancient art. I can tell you secrets that your grandmother didn’t know…and didn’t want to know, unless she was a kung fu master. In that case I’d like to meet her.
Tea Tree Tingle bodywash
A chin-up bar
Organic Free-Range Eggs
Wasabi Mayonnaise from Trader Joe's (This and the previous item combine to make the most spectacular egg salad you've probably never tasted)
You’re willing to hop on a plane and go somewhere you may never have heard of.
You never eat at Panda Express
Bonus points if you speak another language and/or can guess my ethnicity.