I’m also the real life kung fu panda. I’ve traveled to lonely mountain tops and embraced monastic life in my quest to master the ancient art. I would have stayed longer, but the vegetarian meals started giving me nightmares about steak and pizza.
Tea Tree Tingle bodywash
A chin-up bar
Organic Free-Range Eggs
Wasabi Mayonnaise from Trader Joe's (This and the previous item combine to make the most spectacular egg salad you've probably never tasted)
You’re naturally sweet and affectionate.
You never eat at Panda Express
Bonus points if you speak another language and/or can guess my ethnicity.