I have an adorable niece and nephew but they're on strict social media free diets so you're stuck with baby-less pictures and I'm stuck trying to woo you without the help of a baby.
I'm also the world's leading cause of cancer.
-Making people laugh. That's why everyone always laughs at me, right?
-Turning any situation awkward. Sometimes on purpose and sometimes by accident.
-Entering and leaving conversations at the most awkward times
-That one sex thing that's all the rage these days. Yes, that.
I just farted.
Or maybe it's my giant wang.
Instead, how about 5 cheesy pickup lines we could all do without?
1) Do you like Cheez Whiz? Because I'd like to spread you all over this cracker.
2) Are you Swiss? Because I'd like to run my tongue all over your holes.
3) You must be part cheddar because all I can see is you melting on my meat.
4) You must be Munster because I wanna eat you despite the smell.
5) This may sound cheesy but I think you're grate.
The right relationship will enrich the lives of the people involved, but simply being in a relationship does not mean your life is automatically better. If you approach life with the mentality that you need a relationship, you will settle for whoever is willing to settle with you. I would rather get to know everyone that comes into my life and, when there is mutual interest, decide to spend more time and energy with a special someone.
The single life is not an implication of loneliness, sadness, or emptiness. Having a significant other is not a cure for nor protection from loneliness, sadness, or emptiness in your life.
It still counts if it's with myself, right?
You aren't necessarily opposed to The End of the World as We Know it by REM as a wedding song.
So long and thanks for all the fish.