50San Ramon, United States
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My self-summary
Oh Jesus what does one write here?
A Self summary?
The world's loudest shy person
A one-off prototype that's interesting
but clearly too buggy for mass production
Hyperliterate BlueCollar Motherfucka
Fascinated with lyrically welding together my highest and my lowest brow
Okay that last one was a bit much
I'm just a dude looking for my chick yo.

I really just want someone to be nice to
To hang out with
To wake up next to
To grill delicious dinners for
or hey to be made dinner by
You know?
Someone I can excitedly share
Whatever new song I'm obsessed with..
Or hell someone I can write new songs about...Someone who rests her head on my shoulder while she tells me about her day...I miss the feeling of being on a team,
Of me and her against the world
What I’m doing with my life
Snapping necks and
Cashing checks...
I wanna drive a Range Rover bro

Working way too much and playing music
I know I know 45 years old
And in a band...sad right?
Visions of some ponytailed asshole
Living in his parent's garden shed
Dancing through your head?
Yeah. Mine too. Sigh

Anyway what else I recently learned to scuba dive went to Honduras with some friends went to Mexico by myself and bleached my hair white (from its normally
Ever so distinguished brown and grey)
Other than that I just like to oil myself up
And admire my rippling pectoral muscles
Whilst reciting feminist poetry
Anyway somebody just pointed out to me that all that just made me sound unemployed...I am not (at least for three more years when I can retire from this whole work nonsense) till then I remain
a teamster truck driver monkeyboy
Who gets up too fucking early swears
Like a motherfucker and works just hard enough to burn off (most) of the tacos
And BBQ I spend my day eating while ostensibly working
I’m really good at
Driving backwards

Jeopardy and any other endeavor
That is aided by my rainmanlike ability
To store and rapidly produce useless information

Reading Rhyming Napping
The first things people usually notice about me
Probably the noisiness
Or perhaps the anarchic cackle

Ok I asked some female friends
about this and they agreed it was my eyes
or my ass... I guess it would depend which way I was facing
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
This could take a really long time
I'll be brief
Books..Salinger Hesse Joseph Campbell
Tom Robbins TS Eliot Tom Wolfe
Kingsolver...four I read recently and dug the shit out of were The Art of Fielding Water for Elephants the Keith Richards book and a biography of Roald Dahl
Recounting his exploits as a British
Spy/PR flack/legendary cocksman
In the early years of WWII

Music..Stones Johnny Cash John Prine Steve Earle Ani Prince Eels Motörhead
Dan Bern Ramones Avett Brothers
Otis Redding Throwrag Pogues
Tom Waits Oh and I just saw Morris Day and the Time
At the county fair and it was super rad

Movies...pulp fiction (actually all tarentino and most things tarantinoesque
Shawshank Redemption
anything Woody Allen
little miss sunshine
Coen Brothers particularly Fargo Lebowski and No Country for Old Men
I guess I should update this shit occasionally...I'm currently dorking
out on Game of Thrones and House of Cards, just read Beautiful Ruins
Defending Jacob and a shitload of
Iceberg Slim
Oh yeah Orange is the New Black
and Louie...and Antiques Roadshow
but I reserve the right to deny that I watch that one
Six things I could never do without
Good Real Food particularly in
The more interesting locales
(Taco Trucks in Oakland BBQ in industrial
Kansas City Etc)
Traveling (both 4 star tropical and road trips cross country in search of awesome food
Beer in all of her holy variations
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Your Mom
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Hmm I'm pretty good at embarrassing
Myself how bout I cried watching that last
Muppet movie. when they
Sang The Rainbow Connection. On an airplane. Ok I was drunk.
And I may have once sang that song at a funeral. Which if you didn't know
Any song you sing at a funeral
Will retain the power to reduce you
To a puddle of fucking tears for the rest of your life. So, like, don't sing at funerals
You should message me if
You're smart
You aren't emotionally broken
(emotionally dented is fine)
You aren't going to boil my bunny
You understand that the more attractive
I may find your profile the less likely it is that I will message you cause I frankly feel
Like a big douche no matter what I say
Whilst attempting to break the ice
So like chuck a rock at me or
The two of us