35Edmonton, Canada
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My self-summary
My Hello, universe of OKC, it's Jared here, and I present to you the awesomest man available in the greater Edmonton area.

Welcome to the abridged, re-appropriated profile of me! Now with less rambling and more awesome (at least a 68% increase over previous iterations).

I'm here to look for a girl to spend time with have some fun, and hopefully figure out how far you want to go. To assist you in getting to know who I am, here are some overdone OKC profile questions you can read:
What I’m doing with my life
I work as a salesperson - which is a fancy way of saying I move things from one location to another. When I am not doing this, or sleeping, I am usually doing something on my computer.

You'll have to suffer the fact that I play video games, do lots of streaming and basically live and breathe the internet. This is a part of me that you're just going to have to accept.
I’m really good at
Evidently, people tell me I'm great at most things, but I think they're being polite, to tell you the truth. It would be better to explain what I am bad at:

Depth Perception
Distinguishing Smells and Tastes
Accepting Compliments
The first things people usually notice about me
I have a pretty young spirit, talk quickly and use a lot of words.

Also, I'm really outspoken and prone to ranting about various things.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Media? This is a pretty long topic, so I'll just mention one of each (rather than the paragraphs of discographies and carefully archived selections that I see everywhere):

Book: Crime & Punishment
Movie: Army of Darkness
Show: Jesus it's been forever since I watched one of these
Music: Muse
Food: Tacos
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I spend way too much time thinking. Eventually the topics of my thought processes get too dilute and numerous to catalog here.
On a typical Friday night I am
Getting out of the house.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I think that the experience of dating is treated very differently online. Men put a great deal of effort into contacting girls here, but because of the vast numbers of men available, their efforts are often brushed aside under the guise of "I think I can do better" - but think - if that guy put that kind of effort up to you to your face, you'd probably be impressed.

The next time some guy puts that effort towards you, maybe think what it would have taken him to do such a thing (particularly if he's not like me and is shy as all hell). This isn't a catalogue with a list of available candidates. These are all real people, and if you acted towards them in life how you do when you casually brush the "next" button, you'd act differently. Wouldn't you?

Or maybe I'm just cisgendered white scum, who listens to me anyways?
You should message me if
You should be interested in my culture, look adorable, and have a positive attitude. You should also be a smart cookie. Peanut butter is the best. I do not mind if you're a little quirky either.

I know most of y'all have a hard time messaging people on this site, but fret not, for I have a solution! If you like my profile and want to get to know me, but you don't quite know what to say or fear you might be a little too awkward, send me a message, just say "hi" or something - and I'll take care of the rest.

You should NOT message me if:
1) You are a man from Russia or Nigeria
2) If you are married, separated, or "just getting out of a bad relationship". I am serious. I will find out. Take some time, girl.
3) You are very clearly not ready, nor have the time for a relationship.
4) You are actually Nyarlathotep. Please, stop calling me. I told you - you cannot devour my soul.
5) If you feel you live in a world where "microaggressions" exist, we won't get along.
The two of us