My idea of dick pics involves sending photos of Tony Abbott or Donald Trump to people. Meanwhile my political arguments tend to result in images of penises being sent to people. Huh.
Cleared this up by correcting that "images on penises" to "images of penises". Though to be fair, the original is a bit more batshit hilarious.
I lack the maturity present in either fine wine or a vintage cheddar.
Not one to do pet names or anything of that sort, Lassie.
I may also be one of the most oblivious persons one may come across. 😬
You can stalk me on Snapchat at jaycobcratchley, or you could use your noodle and be socially-awkward with me other places too. :D
If I were a gay pirate, I'd go by the name Cap'n Lockjaw.
Pretty alright at dead-pan humour. Possibly.
Juggling pointy things like swords, kittens, and responsibilities.
Consecutively single since the Beatles broke up.
Playing the odd bit of Overwatch (I suck), Fallout 4 (Of which I play as an ex-lawyer-turned-post-apocalyptic-farmer-slash-tin-can-junkie), or The Witcher 3 (Geralt of Rivia).
Screwing about in Illustrator, Photoshop, and InDesign. Also working as a designer so that's something.
Not going to flipping nightclubs or their ilk.
Confusing the fuck out of people about a great many aspect of my life and persona.
And the hairs which lie upon my chinny-chin-chin. All three of them.
Offscreen, by Kai Brach & contributors.
Fuck Jetpacks, by Jon Bell.
Monocle, by Winkreative.
Dune, by Frank Herbert.
The Hitchhiker series, by Douglas Adams.
How To, by Michael Bierut.
Front Line Assembly.
Mindless Self Indulgence.
Nine Inch Nails.
The Good Natured.
Har Mar Superstar.
Rick and Morty.
Avatar: The Last Airbender.
Avatar: The Legend of Korra.
House of Cards.
Orange is the New Black.
And Daniel Radcliffe's delicious asshole.