Despite my intense cynicism I can be fairly optimistic, despite being misanthropic I do enjoy the company of people, I have rather severe depression, but I possess an active sense of humour, albeit a dark and obtuse one. So, dichotomous, really.
I procrastinate, I daydream, I have a complicated relationship with my sense of self. I sometimes find myself being the devil's advocate, yet I would rather remain silent and be thought of a fool than open my mouth and remove all doubt.
I don't care to involve myself with political movements or organised religions; I understand the appeal, but ultimately find more satisfaction with free agency over my beliefs. I tend not to flourish when under the thrall of boisterous autodidacts.
Being the human grease that lubricates the cogs and gears of capitalism.
Answering simple questions with needlessly obtuse and facetious answers.
That I am a human degaussing loop
The air itself mysteriously playing Verdi's Requiem Dies Irae wherever I go
Books: Non-fiction, academic journals, graphic novels, total wank, Kafka.
Films: Utter trash, decent comedy, obscure pictures, classic fluff.
Food: Essential nutrients such as fats, proteins, vitamins, and minerals.
Music: Whichever songs happen to make my ears happy.
TV: Awful cartoons, awful sitcoms, most British humour, documentaries.
Proper use of the English language
Intellectual discourse, because I am an elitist, apparently
Yes, that's seven. Whatever, I'm high maintenance.
Starting my own cult, using the proceeds to buy a Zeppelin.
Making adorable animal videos, using the proceeds to buy a Zeppelin.
Engaging in sadomasochistic filth and debauchery
Causing trouble for the establishment
I am genuinely frightened of clowns, mankind's ultimate disdain for sanity.
I was never known as 'The Terror of Vaduz' – no matter what Werner Herzhog tries to tell you.
That, or if a gypsy woman told you to so