31Sydney, Australia
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My self-summary
Preface: I am terrible at filling in these blasted introspective rants. Describing myself is like teaching nuclear physics to a duck; hopefully any readings of the following won't be the cause of any aneurysms.

Despite my intense cynicism I can be fairly optimistic, despite being misanthropic I do enjoy the company of people, I have rather severe depression, but I possess an active sense of humour, albeit a dark and obtuse one. So, dichotomous, really.

I procrastinate, I daydream, I have a complicated relationship with my sense of self. I sometimes find myself being the devil's advocate, yet I would rather remain silent and be thought of a fool than open my mouth and remove all doubt.

I don't care to involve myself with political movements or organised religions; I understand the appeal, but ultimately find more satisfaction with free agency over my beliefs. I tend not to flourish when under the thrall of boisterous autodidacts.

What I’m doing with my life
Inhabiting the grey area between decadence, and voluntary simplicity.

Being the human grease that lubricates the cogs and gears of capitalism.
I’m really good at
According to my résumé, a LOT.

Answering simple questions with needlessly obtuse and facetious answers.
The first things people usually notice about me
My physical properties and ergonomic design

That I am a human degaussing loop

The air itself mysteriously playing Verdi's Requiem Dies Irae wherever I go
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Art: Dada, Jugendstil, Surrealist, Abstract, Impressionism, Constructivism.

Books: Non-fiction, academic journals, graphic novels, total wank, Kafka.

Films: Utter trash, decent comedy, obscure pictures, classic fluff.

Food: Essential nutrients such as fats, proteins, vitamins, and minerals.

Music: Whichever songs happen to make my ears happy.

TV: Awful cartoons, awful sitcoms, most British humour, documentaries.
Six things I could never do without
Hedonistic debauchery
Proper use of the English language
Intellectual discourse, because I am an elitist, apparently

Yes, that's seven. Whatever, I'm high maintenance.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Being benevolent-ish dictator for life, using the proceeds to buy a Zeppelin.

Starting my own cult, using the proceeds to buy a Zeppelin.

Making adorable animal videos, using the proceeds to buy a Zeppelin.
On a typical Friday night I am
Being a hermit, doing my best sloth impression in and/or around bed

Engaging in sadomasochistic filth and debauchery

Causing trouble for the establishment

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I was born in a one horse town; in that the most famous resident of the town was an actual horse.

I am genuinely frightened of clowns, mankind's ultimate disdain for sanity.

I was never known as 'The Terror of Vaduz' – no matter what Werner Herzhog tries to tell you.
You should message me if
If a time travelling version of yourself from the future hasn't appeared in front of you and warned you not me send a message then clearly it can't be that bad of an idea

That, or if a gypsy woman told you to so
The two of us