24 Madison, United States
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My self-summary
I do a decent job at convincing the world I'm an adult, what with a full-time job and dental. I also buy my own groceries.
What I’m doing with my life
Graduated college in 2014 and moved to Madison for a job. I work at Epic, but you probably could tell that from the first sentence.

In my free time, I do stand up comedy, which if you ask me is really cool but not something to brag about.
I’m really good at
Mouth trumpet. I used to play trombone, but I think this is a bit more rewarding.

I like to cook. I'm trying to be a vegetarian. 'Trying' being the operative word here.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm usually polishing off a big 'ole carrot.

I have curly hair and a can-do attitude.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I don't read as much as I'd like, but I like Kurt Vonnegut, David Foster Wallace (though I still haven't gotten around to finishing Infinite Jest), The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz, and A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess, among others.

Rosemary's Baby, Rushmore, The Master, The Conversation, Cool Hand Luke, Chinatown, Inherent Vice, Men In Black, Back to the Future

Breaking Bad, The Wire, Game of Thrones, Mad Men, Seinfeld, Comedy Bang Bang, Columbo, Star Trek, Jeopardy, Twin Peaks, True Detective

Astrid and Joao Gilberto, Stan Getz, Thelonius Monk, The White Stripes, St. Vincent, Krill, Speedy Ortiz, Of Montreal, The Smiths, The Beach Boys, Talking Heads, Grizzly Bear, Beirut, Ava Luna, The Shins

If I had an unlimited supply of mozzarella sticks for the rest of my life, I would be a happy man. Same goes for cheese curds.
The six things I could never do without
1. Amazon Prime
2. White T-Shirts
3. The fixings for a grilled cheese
4. People who I hang out with but haven't yet formed an opinion on AKA "Friends"
5. Diversions AKA "Dope & Tight Things To Do"
6. A place to sit, chair or otherwise. A stool will do, but I won't be happy about it. Same goes for a bench, but you're just asking for it with a pilates ball
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Where's the beef?
New jokes and sketches
TV show ideas - a boy can dream!
On a typical Friday night I am
I will probably relax with some TV after a long week. If I do go out, I'll sit at the bar at the comedy club, watch whoever is there that week, or just chat with other comedians.
You should message me if
You're willing to put up with a sizable amount of fun.

You're ready, willing, and able to answer a series of increasingly complex riddles before I reveal my true identity.