(and it's currently waaaaay too long. There are several unintentional repeats of information and some stuff that is irrelevant or maybe just stuff I don't need to say upfront. Then again, I do believe in complete honesty, and that includes telling even your negative traits.) One of these days I swear I am going to delete this entire profile (not the account though) and put up just some absolutely bare bones stuff. I talk too much in person; no need to blab so much in writing.
Anyway, I am not really looking for a relationship and definitely not a casual fuck. I'm just dipping my toes in to see what's out there, and I'm very annoyed currently that this site keeps suggesting guys with facial hair. I detest it. It itches when you kiss and it makes me wonder why a guy's hiding behind it. Is there a way I can filter that? (Right, you can say the same about women and make up, but I don't wear it all the time.)
So anyway, you can ignore like half the stuff, except the half that's still valid. That's the half that's, like, mixed in with the other half. Right. So, now that that's cleared up, let's move onward. I'm no longer quite the raging psycho bitch I come across as part of the time, but I really am a raging psycho bitch for the parts that I need to be. Are you still following? I can actually clear that part up for you a little. ALL CAPS generally means it still pisses me off. I am no longer on the path of self destruction (I hope), but I sometimes still remember the thrills with a smile. I'm not sure if I'm on the right track yet, but I think I managed to stop the train wreck in time, this time. So you can message me. I won't call out the dogs, unless you deserve them. However, I may still call out my cat, although that would actually be pointless. She is very well-mannered and friendly. I am not.
I have done some revamping to my life and finally got around revamping this. Biggest factor is the no longer being completely opposed to men, just cautious, and I reserve the right to be as picky as I damned well please and reject relentlessly! That said, I still prefer to be the one making the approach, so unless you've got something really creative to say about me and uniquely me, please move along.
If I do, by chance, get involved with you, never EVER ask me why I'm still with you or why I love you or whatever. I'll think about it, and question, and ::POOF!:: I'll disappear.
My goal in life is to become the creepy old woman living in the dilapidated house at the end of the road with all the cats. Unless of course I go through with the gender change, in which case I'll become the mean old man at the end of the block with the vicious wolf-dog. I'm mainly on here for the quizzes, and laughing at idiots' profiles.
From my results on the "Ideal Job for Your Personality" test on here:
"You don't do well with people. Avoid them at all costs. Machines are your best friend."
Why pot head idiot guys add me to their favorites list when I clearly state that I'm ALLERGIC TO POT and not interested is beyond even my exceptional intelligence. I guess they've got the misconception that increasing the band width will improve their connection speed, when the opposite is true. ::shrug:: The ratio of stupid people to intelligent ones increases every generation. See Idiocracy.
At any rate, I don't think I'm ready for a relationship right now, just friendship. I really hate being hit on, especially via the internet, really REALLY hate being hit on by guys with the mental capacity of a Neanderthal or less! (Yes, this means YOU, the one typing up a message right now.) I'm strong and independent, and have no problems whatsoever in approaching a person that I'm interested in.
Oh, I pretty much don't respond to people who haven't taken
the dating persona test: http://www.okcupid.com/oktest3 I know it's silly, but it actually is pretty accurate, and I like to know what I'm dealing with up front.
One thing: My son is grown and I can no longer bear children, but I miss having little ones around. I would definitely be open to a single dad contacting me.
Aside from that, I really can't stand people who can't even type proper English while claiming to be fluent in it. I have better grammar in Russian, German, and Latin than most people on this site seem to have in English, and I admit that I speak those three languages quite poorly!
I am getting back into the goth scene after several years of absence, so maybe I'll see you out c lubbing...
Oh, and on the drug thing, I am ALLERGIC to pot (So don't do it where I can breathe it! Actually, don't do it at all.) and CAN'T STAND TWEAKERS, of any sort. I don't care if it's speed, coke, crack, meth, whatever... I DON'T LIKE the way people get when they use it! Meth is definitely the worst though. DIE IN A FIRE (from your meth lab?) if you use the stuff. Please, no drugs whatsoever, and I'm not even sure if I'm open to some one in recovery. I've lost the last 2 boyfriends to relapses.
I am intelligent, creative, and weird
Getting rid of toxic, destructive people in my life.
Looking for more ways to enjoy summer to the fullest. (I no longer seek to be ultra-pale and avoid the sunlight like a curse. I still freckle more than tan, but my legs are at least not blindingly white anymore.)
Plotting how to get away with murder.
Not doing anything I don't want to.
You would have to understand where I'm coming from to fully understand where I'm going. To write out where I've come from, I'd have to be in a big, ooh-aah, dramaticky mood, and I'm not. I will tell you that I used to willingly walk the path of self-destruction. I kept surviving, relatively intact even. So I gave it up. Self-destruction, not life. Suicide humor usually still gets a laugh.
I've got life goals too, rekindling stuff that I thought was dead and buried long ago, but I guess it's never too late. I have wanted to fly since I was 15. Working the military system didn't work, so it's on me now. I don't know how or when or where I'll get the money, but I'm going to take flight lessons and get my private pilot's license some day. I've also recently taken up sailing. This is a big step for a girl who used to be terrified of deep water, but I believe in facing down my fears. Well, I'm actually not sailing anymore. I ditched the guy who had a boat. I still enjoy swimming in lakes though. Swimming pools are, quite frankly, boring. For those who care about military branch, I am ex-army.
Other than that, I'm taking a bunch of the silly tests on this site to test their validity and keep the nose gnomes away.
Yes, I practice witchcraft. No, I am not wiccan and I resent people assuming that that is the only faith that includes witchcraft.
Do Role Playing Manuals count? 'Cause that's probably the kind of book I spend the most time with! But if not, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams, just about anything by Piers Anthony (though I have not read the Xanth series, so please don't gush about it to me!), books based on the Forgotten Realms campaign setting from AD&D, especially stuff by R. A. Salvatore, some of Mercedes Lackey's older stuff (like from the 80's and 90's, less to do with the heralds of Valdemar, more to do with mercenaries), but I'm not so impressed by her newer stuff, especially when she co-writes with some one,
Fight Club, anime, Re-Cycle, Sweeney Todd, Wall-E, Postal, Edward Scissorhands, Labyrinth, Legend, the Crow, Nightmare Before Christmas, Noriko's Kitchen Table, Suicide Club, Fifth Element, Repo Man, Repo! The Genetic Opera, Primeval (BBC sci-fi TV series), Heathers, Pump Up the Volume, Sex and Death 101, Willow, V for Vengeance, Boys Don't Cry, just about anything by the Pang brothers or Quentin Tarantino, Dungeons & Dragons animated series (yes from way back in the 70's/80's!), Record of Lodoss War, GoBots (another 70's/80's cartoon, though I strangely HATE transformers), Robotech, Neverending Story, Run Lola Run, XXY, Dexter, Game of Thrones, crime shows,
Just about any music except hip hop. Seriously, good ol' 80's rap, when it first came out (Tone Loc, DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince, Beastie Boys... I still don't own any of even those artists, but I'll most likely leave it on if it comes on the radio.), was great, but I really don't get all this stuff-that-shouldn't-even-be-considered-music since it's just shouting about “bustin' a cap in yo' nigga ass” and “gettin' down wit all the fly hos.” So, right, that goes on my Hate List if I forget to add it. What do I like? In no particular order: Cure, Depeche Mode, David Bowie, Iggy Pop, B52's, Bangles, Heart, Evanescence, Madonna, Clash, Orgy, Soul Asylum, Goo Goo Dolls, INXS, NIN, Concrete Blonde, Souxsie and the Banshees, Sarah Brighton, ABBA, Fleetwood Mac, Stevie Nicks, Crystal Gale, Meredith Brooks, Enigma, Alannis Morrissette, Cranberries, Suicidal Tendencies, Faith No More, Misfits, Def Leppard, Motley Crue, Bon Jovi, Lita Ford, Pat Benatar, Joan Jett, Sophie B. Hawkins, Shakespeare's Sister, Sisters of Mercy, Evangeline, Black Velvet Band, Cars, Eurythmics, Sinead O'Connor, soundtrack to Bram Stoker's Dracula (dark classical), Enya, gypsy and renaissance music, Kimya Dawson, Danny Elfman, stuff from the Sims Makin' Magic expansion pack, Ministry, Jane Siberry, P!NK, Sisters of Mercy,
Food is a passion, so my list will, out of some small show of kindness, be brief, because I cannot talk (or write) long about food without getting into extremely sensual descriptions that will cause extreme hunger. Okay, maybe it's not so much kindness to others on my part so much as it is kindness to myself. THERE'S ENOUGH 300 LB SLOBS OUT THERE ON THE INTERNET!!! And I swear, at least half of them have viewed my profile and sent me a message. I don't want to look at you anymore. You have a glandular condition? SO DO I and the most I have ever weighed was within 5 lbs of the ideal weight range for my height and I only put it on while bedridden for 3-4 months following an injury. It's called GET OFF YOUR ASS!!! Right, so food: breakfast (homemade hashbrowns -with a touch of garlic and cayenne-with eggs over-medium laid on top of them so you can break the yolks so they run into the hashbrowns and a side of either bacon or sausage and some fresh fruit), my homemade bacon-guacamole (Now can even be vegetarian-friendly, since I discovered Bacon Salt! Sorry, still won't make it totally vegan, since I'm not allowed to eat large quantities of soy product, which is what vegan sour cream largely consists of.) with either blue or white corn chips, extremely rare (blood still running out of it) steak with a plenty of garlic, salmon, almost anything with lots of garlic, avocado, artichokes cooked with whole garlic cloves olive oil and red wine, fresh veggies, corned beef with cabbage and red potatoes-traditional Old Irish style, my mother's chocolate zucchini bread, beef jerky-homemade even better, fresh or dried fruit, Greek yogurt, decadently rich full fat ice cream-especially with caramel or coffee flavor, whole roasted chicken, AUTHENTIC Mexican food, dark chocolate, ... Are you hungry yet?
THINGS I HATE:
facial hair, frat boys, guys who are addicted to sports (Go Seahawks! is great, but please have other subjects to talk about!), guys hitting on me, hip hop, “boom boom” cars (those ones that drive by at ANY hour of the day or night playing “music,” usually hip hop, so loud that it literally makes the building shake!), morning, most “trendy” stuff, really stupid movies that still get lots of attention just cause they put out the budget to star a “name” actor or two, no-talent “actors” and “actresses” who still make tons of money, homeless people who keep asking me for change even though I've passed by them twice or more telling them I DON'T HAVE ANY CHANGE!, tweakers, hypocrites (especially the most common type: the ones who claim to be good Christians while judging and condemning you, like THEIR OWN LAWS AND THEIR OWN GOD say they shouldn't, for not being one. I went to a Christian high school. I KNOW! Jesus Christ can have my soul and wipe his Holy ass with it – not like I ever knew what to do with it anyway – my HEART is PAGAN! And a lot of current Christian church service practices are actually based on the old Pagan Rites, because they couldn't completely weed it out of the masses!), GUYS WHO THINK ALL WOMEN LIKE TO BE DOMINATED (either in bed or in life. Seriously, there was some stupid quiz that I found on here, written by a guy of course, with one question something like: “I have you all tied up. What can I do now to turn you on more?” He didn't have a choice for me, or several women I know: “Untie me and hand ME the pain-tool! Just hope that little bondage bit didn't piss me off to the point of imbedding broken glass shards and sharpened metal bits into you!”), people who think they're smarter than you when they are in fact idiots!, people who think they can ever completely understand ANYONE just from reading an internet profile,
Astrology, both Chinese and Western. I'm more well-versed in Western, but both have in common that the sun sign or lunar sign is only part of what makes a person's personality traits and influences their romantic compatibility.
Let's play the astrology game and how it has gone for me:
ARIES: Instant attraction but difficult to catch, or hold.
TAURUS: I have had a disproportionately high number of these, but there's only one that didn't end in hatred. Basically, I won't deal with bullshit or bull-headedness.
GEMINI: Fun! But the "other twin" frequently has an other love.
CANCER: There's a definite attraction and caring, but if there's some one else interesting, I tend to chase that down.
LEO: Good friends, can't stand them as partners. (This is supposed to be my ultimate match...)
VIRGO: Best left as friends.
LIBRA: We get along well, but it always fades to friendship.
SCORPIO: They're supposed to be deadly to me, but I seem to do more harm to them. Blame my Scorpio ascendent - I sting back!
SAGITTARIUS: Easy to catch, lots of fun, but they always move on.
CAPRICORN: Usually don't even catch my attraction. There is an exception to that though... That one had just about everything besides sun sign in just the right places.
AQUARIUS: They tend to irritate me. Blame that one on my mother?
PISCES: The big kitty eats the little fishy alive. I do have a strong record of being friends with them afterward though.
Now let's look at other aspects. I'm just gonna go with the most interesting ones to me.
Mars in Leo, like me: Explosions both in and out of the bedroom!
Scorpio ascendent: We've got the same basic goals, but other factors affect how we go about getting there, and this tends to cause conflict and miscommunication.
Dark Moon (Born on the night before New Moon, darkest night of the month, moon in same sign as sun, or maybe sign next to it if person is on the cusp): Our morbid humor and dark seductiveness generally get along well.
Personally, though I'm not really into "pissing porn," I think it would be interesting to see a shot of somebody pissing red. Male subject please, cute, physically fit, and with complete ball-gag, harness, nipple clamps, and ball-and-cock ring - I'm just so sick of seeing all this crap with women in subjugation!
Seriously guys, unless you're out there to breed relentlessly, your main task in sexual situations is to make the woman happy!
Testosterone makes you stupid, but there are ways you can fight it's neanderthal influences and NOT do stuff like buy pickup trucks with gunracks or, even worse, keep hitting on women who ARE NOT interested! If I reject you, and ignoring you IS a form of rejection, please do TAKE IT PERSONALLY! It is intended that way.
You are a very rich, very VERY old person with nobody to will your fortune to.
You are willing to help me brush up on the languages I have listed in the "details" area or teach me Japanese. (I pick up languages quickly, as in I am picking up some Japanese just from watching anime with sub-titles.)
Uh, I kind of have a serious draw to military and ex-military guys. Grew up on a naval air station, worked in the bar, spent some time in the army, know all the jokes that each service branch tells on each other and make up a few of my own when inspired. Civi's don't usually get that brand of humor and I have begun to realize how much I dearly miss it. (When you friend one of your exes that you don't really like on FB just because he gets your jokes...)
This does also give me a slight draw to felons - must be the uniforms and regimentation - but I'm the one who put the last one in prison, so, uh, yeah. You don't want to risk coming near me!