24 Jamestown, United States
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My self-summary
She bruises, coughs, she sputters pistol shots,
but hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks.
She's morphine, queen of my vaccine
My love, my love, love, love.

For those of you who only read/skim this section I would like to clarify my intentions of using this site. I understand that I come off as a very sexual person, which I am. That is a very large part of my life since I'm living in a D/s relationship 24/7. This does not mean I'm looking to fuck anything that moves. Although I'm perfectly willing to share any information about myself and I'm always trying to find new friends in the BDSM scene. The more the merrier, I love a good play session! If I respond to your message, it's because I'm interested in talking... not getting down your pants. I'm a very friendly person as long as we don't get off on the wrong foot. This does not mean I will automatically jump to the request for nudes, requests for me to star in your fisting porno, or join your creepy college bro-to-bro bonding orgies. I am currently being trained by my Sir to be his slave some day far from now. I have a lot of training ahead of me, and I would appreciate it if you could show respect to him by understanding that I am his property. Yes, I do understand I have a strong personality, and I do take offense to someone assuming because of this it's hard to believe the choice I made. Being a submissive/slave does not mean I have no personality that's appealing in any way. Before you bash someone's relations, educate yourself and try not to make an ass of yourself. I am perfectly willing to answer any questions that I'm capable of. I'm currently actively seeking friendship of any gender, and possibly a nice girl who isn't a complete psycho that enjoys arguing every waking moment. It gets rather exhausting, and I've already had my share of crazy. I will accept a male submissive, but only for non-sexual purposes. It's always nice to have someone to worship you and lick your boots clean after a long day. ;)

- Sidenote -
Jealousy is the biggest turn-off I've ever experienced. If you can't handle my lifestyle, don't.

Also, I've recently decided to update the "what I'm looking for" section to include casual sex. This is only for the purposes of receiving creepy messages so I can have a good laugh and possibly post them on Tumblr. I assume most ass bags won't get this far who send these messages with full intent. Here's a shout-out to all of you drunken creeps with grammatical mistakes in every sentence you speak/type: bring on the weird.

Carry on.

She's miss..
loves dirt for diamonds,
gargles spiders..
stops time, steals lipstick.
Tonight she'll light one hundred cannons..
off one single cigarette.
She's fast- like snapping gun guys,
cold- like cellars bare foot..
and the only poem she knows is the club down the street.

My name is Melissa,
I can't really explain who I am to you, since I don't even really know myself all too well, but I hope all of these adjectives and tasks that I enjoy help start an outline. I'm always fluctuating and evolving, so please excuse me if you don't meet "me" right away.

I'm a goddamn misfit, mismatched, but never missed much. Miss right-time-wrong-place with the long face, until our lips touched.

I was born and raised by two "flower children" in DeLand, Florida. I'm your average girl next door, I enjoy rough spankings and long walks on a leash. I drink my coffee at night, and create my best artwork at 3A.M., while listening to music that could make the elderly die of a heart attack. I'm very compulsive and outgoing. I'm also quite anxious most of the time, never really know why, but I've been getting used to it over the years. The only plans that I'm aware of happening are appointments set ahead of time on my calander. I'm a mother, not a very good one, but a mother none the less. I try and teach my child what it's like to live life, to be a free spirit, to cherish the little things and hold onto that which makes you happy. What makes you, you. I am a sadomasochist, I am also pansexual. I have no shame in who I am, so feel free to press me with any questions or comments.. I am an open book after all.

By the by, I do have a fetlife account.
If you don't know what that is, check it out.
If you'd like to add me, ask.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm now 2 years sober from drugs and alcohol, and plan to continue that for many years to come. I don't demand for my partner to join my lifestyle, everything can be good in moderation. I don't shun everyone who uses drugs or drinks, although I do expect them to respect the sobriety I'm trying to maintain on a daily basis. I do have a toddler who can be a menace to society at times, but what toddler isn't? I've been attempting to try and be productive with my time, although that usually falls through. Just being myself, one day to the next. I'm a starving artist. My paintings pay my phone bill, literally.

Other than that; I'll fly away on a pig when my living hell freezes over, and since I'm used to the cold I'll be able to rest my head on Jesus' shoulder.
I’m really good at
I'm really good at reading peoples body language, I can smell my own kind. I enjoy late nights with no sleep and poker, mass amounts of coffee, and I tend to have the incredible ability to turn anything that's meant to be taken seriously into a joke. Rollin' nat 20's, bitch! I can make any daily odds and ends into art, and always need to keep my hands busy.

I'm also really good at writing a bunch of shit on here that no one will probably ever take the time to read. I enjoy making the task harder for those of you who've wasted so much time already.
The first things people usually notice about me
My eyes,
my bright or odd hair styles,
the piercings in my mouth,
the tattoo on my chest, (usually a great way for people trying to be sneaky about seeing more cleavage, "Oh, what's the rest of it look like?")
the fact that once the weather is warmer I tend to wear less clothing,
and in the winter I could pass for a bum with my attire,
my strange mannerisms,
I've been told that my face is very translucent (so take me seriously when I tell you I'm an open book, my poker face is virtually nonexistent),
and my smile.. (probably because of the face metal)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I enjoy movies that make you think, and laugh. I'm not really one for "chick flicks".. although I could tolerate them.
A few of my favorites would be:
A Clockwork Orange,
Step Brothers,
Pulp Fiction,
SLC Punk,
Super Troopers,
Fight Club,
and Rose Red.

I read all types of books, revenge novels are my personal favorite though..
Some that I've read and would love to recommend are:
The Lap Of Luxury,
White Oleander,
Less than Zero,
The Humming of Numbers,
Nothing but Ghosts,
The Name Of The Wind,
and Still Life With Woodpecker.

Oh, and Go The Fuck To Sleep... there's a book reading of it on YouTube by Samuel L. Jackson.

I'm currently reading Sex, Drugs, and CoaCoa Puffs.

As for shows, I don't really watch TV much anymore unless I'm at a friends house or illegally downloaded onto a computer. I mainly watch old anime re-runs with friends, Death Note is my all time favorite series. Lately, I've been sucked into Dexter and have found a new appreciation for Doll House and Serenity. Joss Whedon is amazing. Although if he decides to make more amazing shows, I'm sort of reluctant to watch them. Since his track record with shows being canceled doesn't look too great, and no one likes a good show being cock blocked by Fox.

Speaking of Fox 'News', if you seriously consider that as a news source, it's definitely a deal-breaker. There's just no coming back from that. No matter how incredible you think you are.

In the context of live shows, you can never go wrong with a good punk rock show. I'm also pretty interested in theatre. You can find the most interesting friends there and get into some exciting situations..

My music taste is diverse, I enjoy only some rap, like Sage Francis, but mostly punk rock, indie, rockabilly, techno, hard-style, some dubstep, ska punk, ska, and the good oldies.

A few bands/artists that I've been glued to this week:

Bedouin Soundclash,
Big D And The Kids Table,
Blackbird RAUM,
Leftover Crack,
Crystal Castles,
The Birthday Massacre,
Jimi Hendrix,
Wingnut Dishwashers Union,
Operation Ivy,
Bright Eyes,
Tiger Army,
Nine Inch Nails.

As for food, I'm not a very picky person. Although I am told I "ruin" foods with large amounts of condiments all the time. I put hot sauce in and on just about everything. I also have a very unhealthy relationship with good ice cream and spoonfuls of Nutella. Sushi makes me the happiest little camper you've ever seen, as long as it's not an overload of spicy tuna. I'm quite the Fanny-Dooley (ZooM) of sorts when it comes to some foods, like tomatoes. I love so many tomato products... but raw tomatoes are just disgusting.
The six things I could never do without
(I refuse to limit myself to only six..)
Acrylic paint and a hand-stretched canvas,
the soft melody of an acoustic guitar,
a good worn-out pair of cheap flip-flops,
a tattered spiral notebook,
my collection of over-due library books,
the use of q-tips at least once a day,
my morning cigarette,
Tumblr for a good pick-me-up,
sad music when I'm not feeling so hot,
random girl ass watching,
"T-t-t-touch me, I wanna be dirrrty",
gentlemen who are not necessarily gentle men,
girls who make "pew pew pew" laser noises,
glitter wrestling/non consensual glitter,
topless pancake eating,
torn skirts, ripped stockings and smeared lipstick,
setting your shenanigans on fire,
being an obscene hedonist,
books, books, and more motherfucking books,
the sight of a naked man in combat boots,
my itty bitty d6,
at least a cup of coffee a day,
and my friends to keep me laughing.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Camus once wrote that the only serious question is whether to kill yourself or not.

Robbins wrote that the only serious question is whether or not time has a beginning and an end.

Camus clearly got up on the wrong side of the bed, and Robbins obviously forgot to set the alarm. The only serious question is: how do you make love stay?

Answer me this and I will tell you whether or not to kill yourself.

On another note:
new hobbies,
new ideas for using different mediums,
my future and what I'd rather do with my career,
when I was younger,
my family,
who in the world just sneezed at the same time I did,
what age will I accept crazy cat lady status,
why do some girls on this site who claim to be "bisexual" never reply to messages,
where in the world is Carmen Sandiego,
why we kept bugging Waldo when all he wanted was a pepsi,
why is it so hard to locate a D&D group,
why do people in upstate NY call the lake a "beach",
who would want to do anything for a Klondike bar, (they're gross as hell)
albino animals,
silly meanings to numbers, (666 is totally a dog pile),
names I would give exotic pets if I owned them,
really stupid overly-used jokes,
stealing strangers cats,
mugging the elderly for Popeyes chicken money,
standing up for the Trix rabbit,
glitter covered genitalia,
why kittens want to frolic on top of my head when I'm trying to sleep,
excuses to get out of appointments for either more sleep or avoidance of having to put clothes on,
how I'm expected to make real life decisions when I go up the stairs on all fours,
what cool shit can I find on Amazon next,
random things to add to my Bucket list,
the awkward things I could do if I bought googlie eyes in bulk,
random lists that I haven't made yet,
people who aren't socially connected to me on a personal level seem like NPC's,
why are peacock's named peacock's, (seriously, it just makes me think of a dude trying to piss while hard)
horrible catchy songs that are currently stuck in my head,
and wondering what everyone is doing.

Fuck you, Slap Chop, you're full of lies. I pound at you with my fist of hatred and the end result is un-diced mushrooms. Why? WHY?!

I've got some letters inside of my drawer that should've been stamped and delivered. One is addressed to my ex and it says I'm the type of woman who can't be lived with, one is addressed to my friends and it says I'm a mess so y'all can't visit... and one is addressed to myself, but I don't know what personality or hand to give it.

-Again, not enough crap to read, my bad-
Technology made it easy for us to stay in touch while keeping a distance, 'til we just stayed distant and never touched. Now all we do is text too much.
On a typical Friday night I am
Playing poker with some friends,
walking around trying to find a new oasis,
poking around in small family-owned shops,
kidnapping some friends who need to get out,
giggling to myself in dark rooms,
browsing random shit on YouTube,
(Cat videos, it always ends with cat videos)
making late runs to the store,
googling random things (like why it makes that weird feeling when you poke your belly button),
finding new cupcake recipes,
screaming songs off-key intentionally to piss off my friends,
giving people weird looks,
hanging out with a bunch of drunks and drinking coffee,
chain-smoking while doing the dishes,
cleaning my friends apartment,
playing video games (usually RPG's),
watching illegally downloaded seasons of (insert addictive t.v. show here),
smelling old books at the library (if you think this is odd, you've never smelt an old book before. YOU, not me, are the weirdo in this scenario),
possibly doing laundry,
occasionally writing in all caps to show how excited/angry I am,
adding onto this terribly long profile of mine,
listening to music and reading a book or..
singing along to the song and crafting or painting.

Not so typical, but whatever...
I tried. 'A' for effort?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I have swastikas tattooed on my breasts. No, I'm not a Nazi. This isn't really that private, but I figured I should share it since some asshole keeps flagging the picture and having it removed.

I gave the Trix rabbit his fix of cereal, because fuck those kids, that's why...

Although it is creepy, it still makes me smile when someone sends me an awkward message stating that they've just finished masturbating to my pictures.

I'm not really interested in someone who sends one word messages and can't carry on a conversation with substance.

I'm pretty good at burping like a mountain man.

I've been diagnosed with more than one mental health issue. (I feel as if it's too personal to place which ones without knowing someone. Public information only goes so far...)

I spend a lot of time on free phone chat lines trolling creepy men late at night.

I enjoy peeing outdoors, which usually results in me going commando whilst wearing long skirts most of the time.

I go through drive throughs just for free water, because I believe that it tastes better when someone else makes it for me.

I used to be a teenage dirtbag, baby...

I once threw a large candle at someone's head for threatening to smoke the last cigarette out of my pack,

I've seen people who don't believe in sleep count sheep with calculators that double as alarm clocks.
You should message me if
It's come to my attention that I'm not so great at being all too active on here, so if you'd like, I've decided to add some other social networking sites for those of you who've gotten this far. (Bravo! You're almost done...)

Tumblr: g0rejuss
Facebook: Vaga SourousRex

Ah, I've also had my fair share of other social networking sites...

MyYearbook.com: Stopped logging in because creepy guy insisted we were together, had a friend message him to tell him I died.

VampireFreaks.com: Made it about 6 years ago, decent friends, but my child's father used it as a stalking tool.


Stikcam: Just need to find a new driver for my webcam is all, I really miss the creepy questions and flirting with drag queens.

Peta's "Street Team": I really just lied for points in the forums because I wanted a cool lunchbox. All I got were stickers.

You can carry a decent conversation,
You're very socially awkward,
You've taken the time to read my entire profile,
You've timed yourself while reading my profile and have results for me,
You have an opinion about jello,
You want a tattoo and have the money to pay for it,
We're a high percentage of being enemies,
You want to buy me a Diablo Roll from the chinese place down the road,
You enjoy going to the Coffee Connection,
You smoke way too many cigarettes,
You know how much wood a wood chuck would chuck if a wood chuck were dead,
You have horrible insomnia,
You wouldn't mind horribly covering various songs in a high-pitched scream with me,
You understand the difference between hentai and your every day anime (which isn't much, but some),
You have a mohawk (or want a mohawk, but your mom won't let you get one!)
If you understand what song that was from,
If you wonder if Tegan and Sara ever had a threesome,
You've answered that it isn't possible for your partner to be kinkier than you in your questions (I've got some stories for you!),
You're stalking my profile over and over (I see you..),
You'd like to get some good advice from a stranger,
You've got a stranger danger vibe to you,
You'd like to give me some constructive criticism,
You'd like to make up weird rhymes to The Power Ranger's theme song, (GO, GO, HERMIONE GRANGER!)
You think you're cooler than sliced bread,
You're the bees knees,
You're the cats meow.