28North Hollywood, United States
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My self-summary
6'1" Cyber bully with a wit drier than the eyes of a heartless bastard at a baby shampoo convention seeks epicurean looker who doesn't learn from her mistakes and has never heard of a Disneyland annual pass.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm five years into a four year degree but am already working full-time in the field I'd like to go into. I plan on returning to school as soon as paychecks lose their appeal.
I’m really good at
Horrible first impressions, buying bullshit for my apartment, and spreadsheets.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm tall and I wear ties voluntarily.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
1984, A Song of Ice and Fire, To Kill A Mockingbird, The Great Gatsby, I Lucifer, American Gods, Fight Club, Survivor, American Psycho, Less Than Zero, The World Without Us, Guns Germs and Steel.

American Psycho ("I'm on the verge of tears by the time we arrive as Espace because I'm certain we won't get a decent table, but we do. The relief washes over me in an awesome wave.") Boogie Nights ("I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big dick and I say when we roll."), Taxi Driver ("How's everything in the pimp business?") and Step Up 2: The Streets ("Don't worry. Everyone's just hatin on you cause you're dope.")

Parks and Recreation, Game of Thrones, Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Steel Panther, Deadmau5, Skrillex, Kanye West, Benny Benassi, Jay-Z, Common, David Bowie, The XX, Dead Man's Bones, John Legend, Kid Cudi, Michael Jackson, Frank Ocean, The Weeknd, Nine Inch Nails, The Garden State soundtrack.

Sushi, Soup, Mexican, Italian, Chinese.
Six things I could never do without
1. Netflix Instant
2. Friends
3. Bottled Water
4. Collar stays
5. Shoes
6. Books n shit
I spend a lot of time thinking about
how few people truly understand the genius of Kanye West, the future, how often stripper poles get Windexed, instagram captions, and how doomed the universe is if we are the most advanced species in it.
On a typical Friday night I am
Trying cool poses while I wait for the bartender to stop ignoring me.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I never learned how to hike.
You should message me if
You're weird (Don't be nice, bath temperature is supposed to be nice), you have a sense of humor, the word "God" appears in profile less than once, and please have a face.

Don't message me if you use Drake lyrics as hashtags or Instagram captions. You probably didn't start from the bottom, it wasn't all you, and you will still make plenty of new friends in your lifetime.
The two of us