32 Seattle, United States
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My self-summary
Hi, this is my first sentence about me, and, given the superficial overcast OKcupid allows, 80% of you have already left for the the block button. For those still here, I give two truths and one lie:

I was a professional wrestler
I lived in Japan
I have legitimately beaten the NES version of Battletoads

My beard (known affectionately as beardie) is optional. Oh and I'm an INTP-T if that sort of thing interests you.

A few random things about me: I'm a writer (or I'm trying to be). To round out my obsession with being published, I lift mad weights, go to every restaraunt/brewery I can find (porters and stouts) and love just being at home with a book enjoying peace and quiet.

That's not to say I'm not social, I can be. I just don't like going to bars or being in areas with crowds (I prefer working out on the weekends because then no one is there, but I'm usually there five weekdays when EVERYONE is there). Going out is great, I just like to stay out of debt and be more self sufficient than most. You will not make me go out 5 days a week, if you want to, go ahead. I like my alone time, if you want to come over and just chat--I can do that to. Or just hang out and read a book in my recliner while I rub your feet/back (this feature of me requires time spent before it becomes unlocked). Or we can sit and play Mario Kart. Or go golfing. Golfing is fun.
What I’m doing with my life
Well, the big thing is I'm trying to publish a book, which is a gigantic pain in the ass. I don't totally suck, my work beat a few hundred other novels in the young adult division of a Seattle contest to be a finalist a couple years ago (yes, my novel is written), but it lost to a book about fairies. I guess my story about religious conspiracies, Jesus clones, demons, and killing God can't stand up to a book about fairies. It's a good book about fairies but it's still a book about fairies.

For money, I work at a startup in the wedding industry. That's really all I can say on that subject. Normal startup dysfunctional stuff. I also write for a high profile sports site on the 49ers, but since I don't want this getting back to them I'm not going to just blast that out here.

Yes you read that right. I like the 49ers and I live in Seattle. God, kill me now because according to the masses I clearly shouldn't be allowed to live.

Oh yeah, fuck the Seahawks.
I’m really good at
I can take a stick of butter and a stick of "I cannot believe it's not butter" Butter, close my eyes, sample each piece and identify each one. I was given this power by aliens after I pissed them by refusing an anal probe. They figured this would be more of a curse, as I would desire fattening, saturated real butter and could not be satisfied with the fake crap. I have learned to move on, but this, like card tricks, comes in handy.
The first things people usually notice about me
Besides my eyes and a voice that's a cross between a chain smoker and a kid halfway through puberty?

I'm not sure. But I know the word "Badass" is thrown around a lot lately. Am I a badass? I don't know, but to help my case with the random women I send a stupid, cheesy line to and make them actually ask me something intimate about my life (or the 2% of you still at this point in my profile that didn't "hide" me after seeing my photos), I'll suggest a few reasons why I may be a badass.

1:I haven't been in many street fights.

If you have, you're probably still in middle school. Most badasses fight, but they aren't someone who enjoys just being in fights. Besides, you're more likely to forget someone you slept with than someone you fought. Which is only one of the reasons I like to end sex with an elbow drop.

2: I Have Trained in Martial Arts That Require No Explanation

If a guy needs to explain his fighting style, he's not a badass.

3: I Know Fight Secrets Everyone Knows

Less is more for badasses. They do what everyone else does, but it works for them.

4: I Don't Argue That This MMA Crap Is Just a "Sport"

It's two guys who want to beat the shit out of each other for everyone's amusement. They are gladiators. If you told a gladiator he was gladiating for sport, he'd chop your scrotum off and eat it before killing his opponent.

5: I Don't Tell You About All the Fights I've Won

"You know what's cool? That day I put a dude in the hospital and gave him brain damage. He'll never walk again. Shows him not to fuck with me."

Anyone who says they kicked someone's ass could potentially be telling that story. And they suck.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Favorite movie is Casino (read the book, it's really good). Following that is Goodfellas. Beyond that in no particular order: The Exorcist, Shawshank Redemption, Terminator 2, Chef, Star Wars I-VI (yes, you read that right, I don't dislike the prequels as much as everyone else).

Favorite book is Dracula, reading A World Without an End right now.

Food: Italian.

TV: The League/The Sopranos/Friday Night Lights/Breaking Bad/Full House...

Video Games: Chrono Trigger, Final Fantasy IV-VII, Fallout, Sonic (classic Sonic is awesome) Earthworm Jim, Earthbound, the Tales series, Ninja Gaiden (both old and the reboot), Street Fighter.
The six things I could never do without


Electronic entertainment


The Internet


BONUS: Koko Brown Coconut ale
I spend a lot of time thinking about
If my book will ever be published, if my writing career will be more than a gig I get paid $40 a month for.

Also my future house where I'll have a hammock nailed to two maple trees to read books while my pet doberman sleeps nearby.
On a typical Friday night I am
I'm not sure exactly what I'm doing but I'm sure the night will involve booze, handcuffs, black eyes and lots of questions to what the hell we did on Saturday morning.

And yes, I'm a perfect saint. It's all going to be your fault. It's not my fault, I'm can't prove jack shit. My law team is custom made by the Juggernaut.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I read Twilight
You should message me if
You don't mind the fact I like the San Francisco 49ers.

You have nerves of steel.

You think you can actually hold your own in Mario Kart.

Upon looking at your profile I generally look at things about how we would work in a relationship. I actually do look at what we match in various percentages and also answers to questions. Generally it's like a point system. For instance, if you are within a certain age, you're more relationship material. If you have a certain skin tone, likes dislikes, dimples in your face, height, etc, it puts you more into "she may be fun to go out with" rather than "I could be friends with her" or "This could work, but it would be short lived, if I'm cool with it and so is she sweet".

What are these paremeters? I have no fucking idea, I just know within 5 minutes what I'd pursue with whoever. I'm honest about it when asked, but it's somewhat funny.