I love language. Words. Foreign languages. Witticisms. Quips. Literature. Grammar. Sociolinguistics. Linguistic anthropology. Cognitive linguistics. Etymology. Language should be handled with reverence and joy and dizzying passion and whimsy. I like to hang out with other linguistics nerds who understand my excitement when I exclaim, "OH MY GOD Romanian retained a case system!"
Seeing the Nook station at Barnes&Noble makes me really anxious. So I avert my eyes.
Once a month I get really hyper and bake for 7 hours. Wanna learn how to make tea-infused butter? Awkwardly, I don't actually like dessert food, so I'm left with a dozen mini peach and brie pies and...dismay.
taking superfluous language classes.
vaccinating dogs. fending off cats.
deluding myself with a revisionist history of my time in academia.
wondering how long I can conceivably put off facing the next 50 years of my life without going to law school. I considered it as a viable option until I realized that $200,000 and 3 years of agony is an awfully big investment just to avoid choosing a career.
watching in bemused horror as my eating habits deteriorate even further than I could have imagined was possible.
being consumed with guilt about my shoe addiction. or rather, blithely acknowledging said addiction and then promptly justifying my unnecessary purchases.
curating my petite home library.
asking for directions but forgetting to listen to the answer.
making french toast.
savaging people for borrowing my books and not returning them. (I will shank you)
also possess notable Forgetting To Eat skills, Reading All Day skills, and, whenever possible, Dancing With Wild Abandon skills.
I compulsively add unnecessary information parenthetically (brevity isn't the soul of shit).
I sing a lot. Who needs talent when you have an iPod, a french press, and unbridled enthusiasm!
Half of my diet is comprised of burgers and fries. Another quarter is coffee. The rest is about evenly divided between fro-yo and children's gummy vitamins.
“A word means something; despite the maunderings of the lexicographers, it does not mean whatever you want it to mean.”
"The world inside myself is vaster and richer than this paltry plane, peopled with mere galaxies and gods."
"Just goes to show, we don't know shit about fungi."
"Lover much missed, my Where, my Why, my How. I wanna do you like all three dudes in Blue Man Group 'cause that's what color my balls are right now."
bright red lipstick.
the illusory promise of fall.
life is pretty miserable when I forget to charge my iPhone. I guess I could live without it, but really, why would I do such a thing?
b) when being health conscious and waking up early became virtues.
e) "Why I Am So Wise", "Why I Am So Clever", "Why I Write Such Good Books", [["Why I Am [Motherfucking] Destiny"]].
f) how frustrating and sad music snobbery is.
g) coffee. how I can get someone to go buy me coffee. how much coffee is contributing to my insomnia.
h) why I'm not currently dancing?
i) prescriptivism vs. descriptivism
i) "wasn't I supposed to be drunk for my early 20s?" when I was actually in my early 20s it was, "wasn't I supposed to be out of control during my teens?" I'm sensing a troubling pattern here.
passed out after a week of sleep deprivation.
at home with my dog drinking slightly more scotch than is *strictly* necessary.
I can't point out anything on a map if it's smaller or more ambiguously shaped than Texas. Seriously. It's a real failing. I try, but I just don't have the memory/spatio-visual imagination for geography. Like, I hear "Yemen" and draw a complete visual blank. Then, mortified, I google image a world map. Two days later, I hear "Yemen"...oh fuck it. I have only a vague idea of where Kansas is. That is to say, it's not on a coast, so how can I possibly be expected to remember?
I'm unusually patient, but it seems so unlikely that it takes most people years to notice.
you understand the intricacies involved in the care and taming of introverts.