41Brooklyn, United States
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My self-summary
I always want to be in the weird place at the right time.

I'm Originally from Maine. Go Sox!

I play handball all the time, but I don't know the rules'

I'm going to open my dream shop that sells bagels, donuts, lifesavers, Swiss cheese, etc. I'll call it Hole Foods.

I'm not afraid to go to a movie or show alone, although I prefer accompaniment.

Crapulous boulevardier

I'm immune to poison ivy

Most evenings I'm asleep before midnite.

As an adolescent i could control bears with my mind.

I went to college for free.

Chicken pox survivor

Richard Dawson is one of my all-time heroes.

The first volume of my memoir is titled "The Infancy Gospel of Robert".

I'm steadily working toward being a conventionally handsome man.

potential heresiarch
What I’m doing with my life
I've started my four novel trilogy that takes place in a pre post-apocalyptic America called "The Thirsty Games", now accepting movie advances

as little as I can, and everything I must.

keeping secrets & getting wired.

Writing Facts of Life fan fiction..... Fifty Shades of Blair. available soon.

writing the libretto to my operetta Schadenfreude & Ersatz.
I’m really good at
smirks, distractions, confessions, crossword puzzles, naps, calendaring

COFFEE!...........roasting and brewing.
The first things people usually notice about me
my ghetto booty

my laugh, combination Eddie Murphy/Seth Rogan.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Truman Capote, The New Yorker, Albert Camus, Denis Johnson, Knut Hamsun, David Mamet, Jose Saramago, David Foster Wallace,

Movies-Babe:Pig in the City, Starship Troopers, Sweet Smell of Success, The Royal Tenenbaums, Days of Heaven, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, iI''s a Wonderful Life, McCabe and Mrs. Miller, The Thin Man, My Fair Lady, Monsters Inc., The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, Rear Window, Stalag 17, Reign of Fire, They Live, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, The Lady Eve, Convoy, The Incredible Mr. Limpet, The Wrestler, California Split, Assault on Precinct 13, The Big Red One, Hell Comes to Frogtown, F for Fake, The King of Kong, Southern Comfort, Local Hero, The Girl on the Bridge, Who's Minding the Store?, Muriel's Wedding, The Rutles, The Bad News Bears, Being There, The Truman Show, All the Real Girls, Au Hasard Balthazar, A Separation, The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp, Onibaba, Sorcerer, John Dies at the End, What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?, Upstream Color, Goodbye to Language, A Matter of Life and Death, The Wind Rises,

TV-30 Rock, Arrested Development, Facts of Life, Modern Family, The Daily Show, Battle of the Network Stars, The Simpsons, Northern Exposure, Golden Girls, The Daily Show, Star Trek:TNG, South Park, Party Down, It's Your Move, The new Sherlock starring Benedict Cumberbatch, Downton Abbey, Todd Margaret, everything that airs on RFD-TV, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Bitch Hunter, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Game of Thrones, Black Mirror, Cheers/Frasier, Last Man on Earth, Better Call Saul, Transparent, High Maintenance,

Music-The Replacements, The Hold Steady, Prince, Johnny Paycheck, No Age, The New York Dolls, Belle & Sebastian, Shonen Knife, Miniature Tigers, The Feelies, Okkervil River, Drive-By Truckers, Staxx, Kelly Clarkson, Off!, Husker Du, The Drums, The Wedding Present, Yo La Tengo, Fang Island, Big Star, Neon Indian, Ferraby Lionheart, Jay-Z, John Fogerty/CCR, Girls, Brad Paisley, Dirty Projectors, Art Brut, Bob Dylan, Bobby Brown, Black Lips, Titus Andronicus, Butch Walker, Manic Street Preachers, Sparks, Ted Leo, Yazoo, The Velvet Underground, Jonathan Richman, The Dirtbombs, The White Stripes, Loretta Lynn, John Prine, Christopher Cross, OFF!, Shel Silverstein, Death, Pavement, Tune-Yards, Flat Duo Jets, Rihanna, Dom, Archers of Loaf, The Mekons, Galaxie 500, Buck Owens, Daniel Johnston, Foxygen, Judas Priest, Thee Oh Sees, Wire, Sun Kil Moon,Merle Haggard, Perfume Genius, Nanci Griffith, Ex Hex, Misfits, The Lightning Seeds,
New Order, Caetano Veloso,

Food-street and fine
Six things I could never do without
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The Singularity

the satanic panic

The strength of the entail

How I go about changing my status from average to fit.

Lake Baikal.

How I should refer to Jacks as Knaves when playing cards.

face blindness


What to have for elevenses
On a typical Friday night I am
wherever I bought tickets for a month ago.

composing gothic sea shanties for my new band Oysters of Mercy
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I still tie my shoes like a 5 year old.

There's a sock in my pant's leg.

I went to the midnite showing of Smurfs 3-D.

Sometimes I just want something hot in my mouth.

I love that picture of you on vacation.

I only just cleaned my room before you arrived.
You should message me if
you love babe:Pig in the city

you like to see movies followed by director/cast Q&A's

like going out to see bands(all sorts), contemporary classical, theater, comedy, or opera.

you know where to find red hot dogs in NYC

you think Randy Marsh is the funniest character on South Park

you want to write my business plan.

ladies in glasses get extra points.

You are kristen Schaal

I had a crush on you in high school.

You want to make out.

You have a copy of the Star Wars Holiday Special

If you are a member of the Mi'kmaq tribe.
The two of us