My sense of humor is a mix of confrontational and off-the-wall absurdity. I think anything can be funny. You'll find it impossible to offend me. Go ahead, try.
I love debating, but only if I feel like the debate will be fruitful for at least one person involved (meaning there's a non-zero chance someone could change their mind.)
I really like to dance and sing. Unfortunately, I suck at both. This won't stop me.
Probably my most annoying trait: It's impossible for me to not point it out when someone says something factually wrong. I'm basically this guy.
That's all I can think of right now. I think I'm pretty great. But you don't have to take MY word for it! Just look at these rave reviews:
Lisa: "I am consistently delighted and bewildered by you. In a way that I should be terrified but I can't muster it."
Coworker: "I think I'd shoot myself if you didn't work here."
Alex: "There's been many times where I wish I could be your brain for a day, just to see how you see the world. Pretty sure that'd be a fantastic day."
Erica: "Graham, ladies and gentlemen. He can take anything cool and improve upon it. It is both wonderful and thoroughly entertaining."
Another coworker: "You're weird. You're mean but...in a nice way?"
My sister: "Well, you ARE a little bit like an alien."
Diana: "Hey, remember that time you gave me a back massage and I had an orgasm?"
I have an ongoing mission to find the most batshit insane religion on earth and join it! I've recently abandoned Scientology for Nuwaubianism! Got a crazier one? Let me know!
Noticing hidden assumption in arguments.
Hiding from predators in wooded thickets.
On the internet, apparently the first thing people notice about me is that I look like Nathan Fillion. Nobody who's met me offline has ever said this, so I think I just take Fillion-y pictures.
Movies: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Clockwork Orange, Memento, Trainspotting, Wild At Heart, Being John Malkovich, Before Sunrise, Natural Born Killers, Chasing Amy, City of God, Pulp Fiction, The Usual Suspects, Dirty Pretty Things, Dr. Strangelove, The Big Lebowski, Taxi Driver, The 25th Hour, Blade Runner, A Scanner Darkly
Music: Jenny Lewis, Leonard Cohen, Muse, Goldfrapp, David Gray, Poe, Jay-Z, The Flaming Lips, Dan The Automator, U.N.K.L.E., DJ Shadow, Charles Mingus, Miles Davis, Massive Attack, Damien Rice, RJD2, Black Star, Portishead, Radiohead, Bjork, The Shins, Shivaree, A Tribe Called Quest, The Roots, Minnie Riperton, Outkast, Bill Evans, Nina Simone, Wes Montgomery, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeppelin
Food: Almost anything, if prepared well. I really enjoy cooking and experimenting with different mixes of food. Everything I make is too spicy for normal human beings.
TV shows: South Park, 24, The Maxx (bonus points if you actually remember this eerie-ass show), The Sopranos, Firefly, House, Dexter, The Wire, Deadwood, The Office, Battlestar Galactica, Penn & Teller's Bullshit, Veronica Mars, Game of Thrones
Because I spend more time on the internet than any of the above, here's a list of my favorite things online: Hardcore History, The Verge, Rationally Speaking Podcast, The Skeptic's Guide to the Universe, Dan Savage's Podcast, Sex Nerd Sandra, LessWrong, Legal Nomads, HPMOR, 3 Quarks Daily
The internet. With broadband. Someday, I'll tell my grandkids horror stories that involve dial-up modems which forced me to wait whole MINUTES just for a naked photo of Carmen Electra.
A Kindle. Now that I have it, I can't believe I ever existed without it.
Delicious food. I attempted Soylent for a few days. I was not a happy person.
I encrypt my flash drives, despite not having anything illegal, secret, or even interesting on them. I just like encrypting stuff. It makes me feel like a spy!
I put a number of random quotes and references from things I like throughout my profile. If you've recognized some of them, you should probably message me. If you recognized ALL of them, we should probably get hitched.