31Philadelphia, United States
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My self-summary
Hi, the name's Anthony. I'm a weird, quiet guy trying to meet a lady on the Internet for a non-Internet relationship because trying to meet folk in the real world is hard. Especially when you're me.

Ever since I hit my thirties, I've been freaking a bit about my recent lack of a love life. Being super shy and socially awkward really fudged that up for me. I'd like to un-fudge that. Help?

I like stuff and things, but loathe things and stuff. I enjoy the indoors and outdoors (but mostly the indoors). I'm kind and polite, but also kinda foulmouthed and incomprehensible. I collect pins and keychains, but never use them. I'm also really bad at describing myself to others in a appealing way and assume that everyone is too good for me. Self-esteem! ...Oh, and my favorite word is "prestidigitation."

I'm also in the market for a partner to help me play through Resident Evil 7 because I'm a wuss apparently.

More information available below. Any questions, please inquire within. Thank you for choosing to read my profile, have a great day and night!
What I’m doing with my life
By day, I'm working my glamorous "full-time" retail job. By night, I'm solving mysteries with my hippie friends & their dog. Or sleeping.
I’m really good at
Random facts, insomnia, making mix CDs/playlists, stuffing my face, listening, alphabetical order, bad impressions & accents, microwaves, spending money, mumbling, & keeping it real.

I'm really bad at
Long division, smiling, taking compliments, communicating with words, making sense, climbing ladders, poker, using an oven, & life.
The first things people usually notice about me
My crappy hair and/or my chubby face. People always like to remind me of their existence. I also wear shorts year-round, so that gets brought up a lot when it's cold. And people usually compliment me on my choice of t-shirts.

Oh, and there's that whole quiet thing...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
These are a few of my favorite things!

Green Day, New Found Glory, The Clash, Say Anything, Motion City Soundtrack, Beastie Boys, The Wonder Years, Muse, Oingo Boingo, DEVO, Gorillaz, Mad Caddies, Coheed And Cambria, Alkaline Trio, Fall Out Boy, Mindless Self Indulgence, Of Monsters And Men, A Day To Remember, Off With Their Heads, MC Lars, Primus, Tom Waits, The Aquabats!, The Front Bottoms...

(I also have a fondness for classical, old video game music, and music from the Nineties because I lived it.)

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Shaun Of The Dead, A Clockwork Orange, The Ring, Pulp Fiction, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Zombieland, High Fidelity, Inception, Beetlejuice, The Breakfast Club, Ghostbusters, Inglourious Basterds, Wet Hot American Summer, Jurassic Park, The Matrix, Guardians Of The Galaxy...

The Simpsons, Futurama, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Dexter, Scrubs, Flight Of The Conchords, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Seinfeld, The X-Files, Mr. Show, Mystery Science Theater 3000, FLCL, Fullmetal Alchemist, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Cowboy Bebop...

(I also love old cartoons from 30's and 40's Hand-drawn animation is a thing of beauty.)

(Video Games)
Super Mario World, Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 4, Sonic The Hedgehog 2, Conker's Bad Fur Day, Silent Hill 3, BioShock Infinite, Rock Band 4, Saints Row The Third, Timesplitters: Future Perfect, Street Fighter Alpha 3, Portal, Pokémon, The Last Of Us, Batman, Marvel Vs. Capcom 2: New Age Of Heroes, Grand Theft Auto V, Life Is Strange, Fallout 4, Overwatch, Tetris...

(I also enjoy board & card games. Just games in general. I like fun.)

Scott Pilgrim, A Clockwork Orange, Gorillaz: Rise Of The Ogre, Ghost In The Shell, Through The Woods, The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, Howard The Duck, Harley Quinn, Sex Criminals, Suicide Squad, I Hate Fairyland, Guardians Of The Galaxy, Deadpool...

I like food, food tastes good.
Six things I could never do without
My family & friends, of course. Something that plays music is required. Air to breathe would also be nice. Food is also kind of important. And viewers like you.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Life. Squirrels. Life with squirrels.

Why do I dream about zombies so often?
On a typical Friday night I am
I don't like this implication that Friday night is special. I've always preferred Tuesday nights.

Regardless, I'm either working or at home. If the planets align, I might spend time with friends outside the home & workplace.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm secretly a ninja. Keep that one in your pocket.
You should message me if
If you want to! Especially if you liked my profile. Just say hi and maybe some magic will happen... If not, then you can just ignore me forever. Power of the Internet!

But if you wanna help a nerd-ass dude with social quirks not spend almost every waking moment alone, then shoot at me a message! It might also benefit you in a positive way. Everybody wins! And I really don't want to end up a crazy hermit mountain man who lives alone in a shack... At least not by myself!

Also, if you think "Teenage Dirtbag" is one of the greatest songs ever written, then we might actually be soulmates.
The two of us